Polarization

we live in a world of opposites that   

only a few of us really understand...

evil or virtuous

                 right or wrong

                                    good or bad,

we compare one word to another

without knowing the meaning of 

either but expect understanding...

male or female

                white or dark

                               night or day,

We take the words that we use on

a regular basis and say that because

of this, there is a little understanding...

justice or injustice

                         up or down

                                       in or out,

we categorize our lives by who we

are and how we use these words in

terms of do we really understand...

life or death

              belief or disbelief

                                   tall or short,

our eyes tell us where we are going

our memories tell us where we have been

our songs tell us what we remember

our lies tell us what we don't understand.

13 November 2022

Risky

alone and isolated, I hide from

my own reflection fearing it is

planning something against me,

I fear the trees and the bushes

the rabbits and squirrels and all

the birds that fly from one tree

to another...  knowing that they

look at me with contempt as

they fly by...  I step on the ants

to show my dominance but

feat the lizzards and worms that

move past me withouot looking,

my days are shortened by the

night that robs me of my sleep

as I wonder what will become

of me the next day hence...  I

am just a lonely field mouse

without a family as I was cast

out while we were passing by.

13 November 2022

Dark Life Given

darkness enters my mind, pushing out the light

my thoughts dwell on the negative while my

eyes open to the reality of death...  a slowly

diming of the consciousness that makes me who

I am and not what you want me to be...  I an the

one who lives in the darkness...  without the

light to guide my path and help me recognize

a purpose that has been so hard for me to find;

angels gather in the darkness stripping the flesh

off my bones in the hopes that my carcas will

collapse under the pressure of it all...  these

futile and constant dreams take me to a place

I don't want to be...  from which there is no

return in this lifetime...  prescription meds

work their magic when there is money and

the inclination to buy them...  my concrete

feet keep me from leaving the water that has

surrounded me up to my neck...  I am in your

debt dark lord...  so take me where I need to

be to do your bidding...  my life is in your 

hands and my mind has all but quit trying to

make sense out of the life that I was given.

12 November 2022

Exposed Memories

half of a lifetime packed away in boxes

full of photographs and slides...  hundreds

of rolls of film threaded into cameras and

exposed, either over or under, in attempts

to be creative...  looking at the contact

sheets first to select the right one to be

submitted for printing...  half of lifetime

of marriages, employments, traveling

by car to reach the location so that one's

entire time can be spent looking through

the lens of a thirty-five millimeter...  we

risk losing the sun if we stay to long or

risk losing the shadows if we don't...  it

is not a memory of people as much as it

is finding the correct exposure...  and thirty

years later when all is said and done, we

spend no time at all, looking at what has

been done since we are throwing it away.

11 November 2022

Lives of our Days

jump down, turn around and see your

your reflection in the pond like pan...

mesmerized by the dopamine in your

system, a mind does cartwheels as its

neural networks stitch together the

orgasms that rocket through your soul

each time you visit the pond...  it is a

little like what it used to be and yet it

is always different from what it could

be or has been...but not if you are a

musician or an artist then all that is 

fair in love and death is the war that

circulates around inside you...  each

day is different than the one before

and yet similar as you live within 

the same parameters as you have

always lived and will continue to do,

providing you survive your growth

and all the changes that will take in

you even if youre not a volunteer.

10 November 2022

Falling For Fall

leaves turn rainbow colors and fall to

the ground announcing fall along with

the end of summer...  home owners

decide to trim the brushes now that the

cold will prevent them from growing;

we organize and re-organize hoping in

the process a lighter load can be achieved

just in case the wild hair to move itches

in our crotches now that we are too old

to have children...  some of us rake the

dead leaves and burn while other push

mowers to mulch, readying ourselve for

the onslaught of spring...  overlooking

the cold quarter we must get through;

we have yet to encounter an obstacle

preventing us from visiting all of the

seasons in the order presented since

life move forward rather jumping in

here and there like a child's game...  so,

we mend our socks before bed and drink

our cocoa in the hopes of quick sleeping.

10 November 2022

We Remember

our thoughts from years ago sit in wheelchairs

waiting to be pushed to assisted living so the

workers can toss them in the trash along with

our young people's clothes that the salvation

army refused to accept...   we are preoccupied

with precautions to extend our life and strip

ourselves of the fabrics that used to be our

personalities...  we dip our wicks into the wax

of illusions and fantasies that creatively sat

inside our imaginations like the six shooter

in a cowboy holster...  wearing the bandanas

around our faces when we pretended to rob

banks and they pretended to put us in jail...

a generation lost in its own foolish past as if

its recreation would somehow justigy our

pitiful existence...   we have syncopated

dreams matching the music we loved and

the lyrics that said so much about the way we

felt when we could not express it ourselves...

we pay merchants of death our inheritance

to postpone the inevitability of it all, just

so we can remember one more day and

pretend that everything will be ok for 

everyone when we accept passing away.

9 November 2022

Learning

short term or long term is how

we perceive life arround us...

around the country and or

around the world...  we look

into the crystal ball that sits

atop our heads and forecast the

events that may or may not 

take place in the next three days

or in the next three years making

course corrections as we learn a

few new facts that we did not 

hae before...  we make our plans

accordingly, taking credit when

it all goes well and blaming others

if and when it goes sideways...

we are peculiar like that in the

way we accept responsibility,

thinking that it is better to look

good than it is to be often right.

9 Novemberr 2022

Dreaming

mornings live in the imaginations of

those who are still dreaming, wondering

if they will awake or not...  and if, they

were awake all along, then where did

the dreaming come from?   a day in 

the life revolves around the reality that

is absent when one dreams and if the

dreamer is aware of that absence then

they strive for correction, but they

are not, then dreams are their realities

and life blends awareness with the

nomenclature of fantasy...  we try to

disconnect, discovering there was no

connection at all...  left wondering if

the day is night ior the night is day,

we remain in our dreams, hoping we

find a way to wake ourselves up.

8 November 2022

Dimensions

we live in a world of dimentions 

height, width, and depth

plus time and space if we care

about the other two...  but no one

sees the other ones that revolve

around our own and cause us to

wonder if we are really alone...

how many of these parallel dimensions

are there, do we wonder...  and from

time to time, we pay it no attention,

but on those days we do, all we can

think about is how do we get there

or how do they get here?  a mystery

of sorts I do declare when the unknown

seems to be sitting on our doorstep,

waiting for us to let it in, but we are

just as afraid of it as it is of us...  still,

we wonder who is out there and who

might be watching us and taking notes

on our behavior as if we are in some

kind of experiment...  in a lab somewhere

in a not so distant dimension that we

don't want to believes exists because it

does not align itself with our religions.

6 November 2022