Life's Curse

a composite day it is today
fragments from yesterday
mixed with future hopes,
blended with doses of reality
seasoned with experience
cooked in ovens of desire,
we are one with life's time
one with the universe and
one with ourselves...  or so
we claim it to be that way,
exhausted with the past that
haunts us cruelly, with
intent and contempt for that
which we have become...
built with spare parts and
imagination from parents
who learned less than they
realized or had hoped for...
we were their experiment
cast aside when results
less than positive were seen,
in behaviors modeled from
a textbook - we were puppets
without life, with consciousness,
without purpose, tossed out
like yesterday's garbage and
reminded life is what it is.

August 4, 2025

A Feeding Frenzy

rain falls in droplets
easy to count splashes
on the deck...
uneven board puddles
slanted both ways
collect the flow when
not too desperate,
leaves weighted down
springy to the touch,
bending over as if
searching below
their orientations,
cloudy skies holding
our leaking destiny,
hide the sun but not
other siblings when
heaven searches for
lost children...
bring forth your requests
if you dare, remembering
it is only rain that
falls in lonely steps
towards the ground its
been asked to feed.

August 3, 2025

First of August Musings

sirens wail behind the trees
dogs howl next door
birds squawk sitting on cutters
scaring off the felines...
table with umbrella on deck sit
beside a fan on smaller one,
summer mornings observed
challenging the writer...
lawn mowed yesterday
weed eating afterwards,
shower then water but not
necessarily in that order...
low hanging branches
need trimming in the fall,
some trees cut down while
others will be planted...
life not mysterious now
with plans forecasted, 
waiting for weather reports
and implementation...
drops of rain seen not felt
end the conversation,
packing up my belongings soon
as I'm heading inside.

August 2, 2025

Shadow Love

age limits interests
verified and unsecure
casual risks uncertain
relationships abandoned
never started or desired,
bent over off balance
are those who reach
out to me with vigor,
not as much interested
as before - if there was
now and then...
beards hide virility
features undesirable
tickling deception but
invested all the same.
fingers stroke and slide
up and down
in and out
wondering...  pursuing
mutual decadence 
barriers formed,
shielding us from childish
foolishness, as we search
for those like us
hiding in the shadows.

August 1, 2025

Morning Moments

eleven windows, a wall with door
surround me here,
this little room of ours
added on last fall...
narrow as it is tall,
enough for both of us and more,
comfort it provides,
daily used and abused with
constant occupancy...
wicker furniture along the walls
two chairs and a couch,
a corner recliner and
lots of tables on which we sit
the tools of our trade...
shades block the sun with
windows up or down,
never a frown is seen upon our
retired faces, reading or
sometime writing lullabies
to those gone unnoticed....
we are clean and free - our feet warm
on the blue outdoor rug,
frayed around the edges but
still functionally appropriate,
casual and sincere we are in out
appearance and restitutions
with cat trees in the corners for the
cats who live here with us.

July 30, 2025

Fake Logs in the Fireplace

hardwood floors wall to wall
installed years ago
add another layer of protection,
low ceilings and an attic
rest atop all the sheetrock
supported by two by fours...
windows in most walls
some have two or more,
the sunroom is entirely glass
offering both summer and 
winter consolations once the
mini split was installed...
logs in the fireplace offer heat
only when properly ignited,
and no past due bills ever spend
more than two weeks on the
kitchen counter we sit at
on a regular basis...
a table for six splits the kitchen
area into halves leaving more
room for the adjacent couches,
bedrooms and bathrooms
are a plenty for a home of five
three of which are male cats with
a room and closet of their own.
ceiling fans throughout except
in the bathrooms where exhaust
fans are put to good use and
on odd days we sit on the front 
porch instead of the back one.
rhythms are played on the leaves
of house plants whenever it rains
and the pantry is full of everything
except cookies and candies...
neighbors see us differently as
we do them on occasion since life
is full of extenuating circumstances
most each and every day...  so when
the buzzer on the oven sounds
it is finally days end again.

July 29, 2025

Credit Card Blues

time leaves us wondering in
unfettered confusion,
pointing the way
where there is no way,
follow this truth when
there is no truth to follow,
listen to the truth
but no truth exists...
we live in the cul-de-sac
of U turns,
missed opportunities,
lost beliefs and
misinformed expectations,
wishing our lives pointed in
some direction - somewhere,
purpose and meaning
juxtaposed with a life of
rewarded satisfactions...
instead, we find non-disclosures
legal remedies that make
no sense, revealing nothing
for which we paid...
life on a plastic card that has
slipped through our fingers.

July 27, 2025

First Time

memories of yesterday linger
overflowing my mind
weakening resistance of desire,
wondering, somewhat hoping
if these feelings will survive,
hidden in mental closets
away from the prying eyes
of a partner whose anger at
my proclivities destroy...
we see each other differently
years pass by unnoticed,
ignoring the fantasies 
growing inside me - a need
beyond all others to feel...
to experience...  to open 
myself up to his thrusts
inside me now...   
deeper and deeper,
slurping hot oil dripping
down my thighs...
an invitation like no other
a prize for both,
squeezing down hard
squirting - fulfilled
his sac beating against my
shivering cheeks as if 
they were cold - goosebumps
forming and disappearing,
lost in sensation...
accomplished anxiety
bucking its way to a
relaxing completion,
hoping the sexual aromas
will last forever as the first
time is always the best.

July 26, 2025

Monthly Treatments

tingling glides to the skin's surface
restless legs begin to move
involuntarily...  eerie at best...
motives cloud my judgement,
only revelation verses heard,
mammoth fears swell inside
needles deliver toxins to the soul,
life changed years ago and my
body has paid the price for it.
dangling tubes from my port
lay against my body
following bubbles slowly sliding
down its translucent length.
following procedures not set
down in stone, are the nurses by
my side, offering appeals that
no one ever receives...  what it
means or doesn't mean leaves
more for the imagination,
my master quotes a figure
insurance companies whine
somewhere in between...
a notable serenity bound by
confidentialities suited only for
solicitor's ears since they are
all quite larger...  penguin
analysis is all fair game and I 
stroll down the mental alleyway
looking for the clothes of my
successor whose name will not
appear until my is completely gone.

July 25, 2025

Sunroom Dilemma

windows closed - shades drawn
summer sun obscured,
fans blow wavy air
vertical and horizontally,
cat tree occupants on top
surveying all they can see
cleaning their bodies constantly
because of the humidity.
wicker furniture lines the walls
cushions still firm from
constant lack of visitors...
time and temperature hangs
on the wall like a corner web
from a spider's sleepless night,
rugs provide insulation from
the hollowness underneath.
heat rises to the vaulted ceiling
maintaining comfortability
sitting in my recliner drinking
vanilla flavored cappuccino.
summers hot - winters cold
a seasonal term of use,
mounting forms of skepticism
just as intriguing today
as they were yesterday when
rains forced closed doors
and the mini split had to be
turned on pre-maturely.

July 24, 2025