Done is Done

outside my window, shades of

greens flourish, different colored

leaves on different branches

with glimpses of darks and white

scattered in between it all to

form nature's balance...  all of

which we distort from time to

time with our industrialization

that we think is for the common

good when in reality it is never

good for everyone...  we live in

an environment of do's and don'ts

not concerned at all with any of

the ramifications...  we trust 

those who build as long as they

build elsewhere...  our leaders

have no idea what they have

created and if they did, would

not care as what's done is done.

July 24, 2023

Common Sense

standing on the cliff of reason and

compromise, we accept the various

claims upon our souls...  we are no

caretakers that we need compensation

but when loaned out, we become a

viable commodity of commerce...

we see beyond our noses as some are

not so fortunate and must be assisted

in all that they do or claim to do...

the reasons for our acceptance are 

but one and we know it is likely to

be argued as unimportant - it is no

secret that a lie perpetuates itself

and the truth can be stolen and used

for the wrong purposes until the

holder can keep it in their possession

for as long as life remains inside them.

July 23, 2023

Days End

a cool breeze blows through me

my body reacts positively...

I can feel my senses again...

I can see colors in the sky again...

my body smiles at the night

that has encircled it with its

negative darkness as the light

within me prevails and my

heart leaps with joy that it

had been reborn earlier...

spiritual affiliations lay at my

trying to get my attention,

join their cause and purpose,

I am a risk free believer and

pursue my own beliefs in my

own way and have no time for

causes to increase memberships;

a cool breeze blows through me

my body responds positively

and I close my eyes to block out

all the memories of a dreary day.

July 21, 2023

Murky Memories

murky are the images of my past

recalling forgotten memories

remember previous lovers and

what we might have shared...

previous employers and how

long I worked before leaving,

and the circumstances of my

departure as I always seemed to

be moving forward in my career

instead of sideways or backwards;

fishing in the mind's pond without

bait is a dangerous adventure as

what was has been reinterpreted to

be something else altogether...

distortion and misalignment are

the thoughts that I catch most often

and I wonder if this is really my

memory or those given to me.by

whoever has invaded my dreams.

July 21, 2023

Toast and Coffee

decadence has washed over me like a summer rain

my mind is full of illicit thoughts and feelings

a mist of sensuality cools my heated body and I

run to the corner of the room to hide in shame...

midnight pearl robes cover most of me

a red satin glow enters from the window like a

ghost and stands in the shadows watching me...

my hand quiver as they touch my face, gently

rubbing my forehead as if it were aching,

I close my eyes to see the darkness inside me

finding only seldom used points of view

long since abandoned by me as a child...

reluctant wondering pursues me like a bad dream

and I fold myself up inside the briefcase that

was left to me by my father when he died...

the porter comes to take me downstair, thinking

I am just a forgotten piece of luggage and I cry

out in horror when my silence is disturbed....

I long for morning and my toast and coffee.

July 19, 2023

Ravaged

mirror on the wall cracked

from misuse, reflects an

image of discontent that has

ravaged my countenance

for years...   eyes flooded

with regret no longer hold

back the rivers of depression

and despair I have worn like

protective garments against

the cruelties of society...  

they have stolen my modesty

leaving me standing on the

corner like a common whore,

my bleached out hair is so

thin is has no where to go 

except wrap itself around my

mind like a turban...  my

parched mouth is toothless,

I eat with a straw feeding the

remnants of my life to those

who dare follow me....  I am

heatless and soulless and am

oftentimes clueless when it

comes to matter of the heart.

July 19, 2023

More Rain

darkness lurks and lingers in the

shadows of an overcast sky...

slowly moving across our vision

being pushed by some unseen force

bringing us more precipitation

for which we never imagined...

rain...  rain...  and more rains

pours down on someone's horizon,

we shelter in place for the feat of it all,

casting lots to see who will venture

outside when it is all over...

darkness lurks and lingers in the

corners and crevices of the sky...

thunderstorms pass through the valley

on their way north to die...  and we

are left with the remnants, the threads

of damage done on it journey, as it

waves goodbye to all our neighbors;

darkness lurks and lingers in the

valley as the sun sets prematurely

on its way to the other side...  the side

where the rain has already died...

we imagine strangers on our backroads

who had stopped to take shelter...

wondering when and if they will ever leave,

we are immune to their negativity but

want them on their way...  before the

dawn of the new day and more rain.

July 17, 2023

Perfection

dark behind light

then more dark

but not as much

on either side...

different shades of

greens are used

to create tree leaves,

the artist eyes the event

then tries to emulate

as best as they can

typically falling short

of nature even though it

looks like a photograph,

different brushes used

different knives as well

twisting and turning

to get the right angle

the right depth of field....

and when the artist

steps back to observe

when the paint has dried

it is an awesome feeling

to have inside one's self

when perfection is achieved.

July 17, 2023

Nonsense

the curtain falls on bad actors

pushing them off the stage,

a crowd forms quickly asking

them for their autographs...

a jet lands on a short runway

ending up in the ocean and

all is well since there were

no passengers just the pilots

who were taking flying lessons,

a forgotten land is discovered

but soon forgotten again as the

explorers died of boredom before

they could reach civilization...

the heart and soul of any argument

lies in preparation because the

delivery is usually not listened to,

an unemployed actor turns down

an unexpected role because he

will be in competition with friends,

sadly, the world unleashes its arch

enemy because it is out of space.

July 17, 2023

Endgame

around the block we moved from

one house to another, leaving behind

stairs and a larger yard about which

we have no regrets...  except for the

fact that we no longer have a spa

to indulge my tired old body...  

better organized is our new home

leaving behind the dust that seemed

to accumulate over night...  gone

is the large yard  that took us hours

to mow and maintain...  a pool is

also no longer available cooling

us off from the heat's humidity but

holding down a winter covering

was oftentimes a nightmare...  

new neighbors, new friends, and

a new beginning of sorts as we

purchase new, hoping until death

do us part and we are finally gone.

July 16, 2023

Another Day

another day passes

we struggle with prices

deeper in debt to the man,

the man does not care,

nor do the ones who

control the prices...    

another day passes

sickness takes us

we die in misery and

no cares with us....

the unknown who 

cannot influence prices

nor the elections

nor the direction of the

illusive economy....

another day passes

we are alone and always

frustrated with the day

and if we will make it

to the next...  a coffin

beside our bed we keep

just in case it happens

when we are sleeping.

July 15, 2023

Travelers

a mixture of sunshine and rain

through the window seen, not

knowing where it came from

nor where it might be heading,

humidity streaks across the road

from one house to another, with

not knowing its final course or

when it might be replaced...  a

jealous sky sends rain to deter

its actions, knowing no other 

way to control its actions...  a 

rainbow somewhere in the sky

appears - just not this location,

leaving us all wondering if there

is something wrong with visions

that are milling around with not

very much to do...  on the stove,

a kettle of tea brew and there are

many cups for all weary travelers.

July 15, 2023

Fantasy Seduction

in the shadows of my imagination

you stand...  a gown a sheer fabric

is worn, clinging tight to your breast

and enlarged nipples...  your face is

partially hidden from view, showing

only one eye heavily painted and puffy

lips with a ruby red appearance...

your legs are spread apart and light

shines through in a distorted fashion

highlighting a flaccid penis that

appears to have a rather large helmet;

the light moves as you do as if it had

been told to follow your movements,

and as you approach, I can feel myself

responding to your stimuli...  glad only

in a silk robe that had been left for me

to wear, even though my mind said no,

what had clothed me was removed...

the gown dropped down over my head

with raised arms shaking...   odd, it was

noticed our mutual garments were open

in the front after reaching the neck...

my heart pounded inside my chest and

I warned myself to calm down as the

excitement had only begun...  touching

our bodies sent shockwaves throughout,

not a single hair was left alone...  the

heat rocked my soul and you laid me

on the atmosphere of our environment

and entered me and we kissed mightily.

July 12, 2023

Intimacy

we talk to each other in our dreams

a joint imagination of sorts,

we communicate with each other

as if standing face to face,

we argue and agree to argue even

if we tend to agree,

it is a most pleasant type of arrangement

that few mortals ever achieve,

we step into each other's minds just

as easily as stepping into a house

or a car or a vacant lot,

miles above us in the universe our

thoughts intermingle like two

lovers on a bed of clouds,

whose orgasms are felt throughout

the valley in which we live,

we are alone in our togetherness

wishing for more, knowing that it

only make us less likely to leave.

July 12, 2023

Too Hot

the sun bakes my

hasty decisions made

knees give way even

though a pad is used,

the sun bakes my

memories of you

whenever I think too

far in advance of

your actions...  the

lies slither around

like snakes on the

ground trying to get

out of the heat...  my

heart beats faster than

I breathe and feelings

fall to the ground with

the humidity, lost to

to soul as life dries up

just like the riverbeds.

July 12, 2023

Moving

his fingers run parallel across a wrinkled forehead

his eyes half closed look at the laminate floor

staring at the red, black, and white modern art rug

that lays under an easily scratched coffee table

he scared during the process of moving locations,

tired eyes scan his surroundings like a panoramic

camera swiveling around on a stationary tripod...

a Siamese cat sits on the reclined chair with him

facing the sofa where his wife sits silently watching

Korean dramas on her ipad, trying to read the subtitles

that seem to disappear quicker than she would like,

windows in the sunroom begin to darken as the sun

disappears on the horizon but the leaves of the trees

as still visible along with their inside shadows that

leaves him wondering what might be hiding there,

a strange new house in which he now lives must

open up her secrets he surmises, staring at the walls

on which painting from the other house now hang,

new furniture and appliances adorn the rooms where

most of their time will be spent, but for now his 

time is spent putting away all the items that were

brought with them, knowing half a dozen trips to

the landfill had been taken to throw stuff away...

way too much stuff he thinks, smiling to himself.

July 10, 2023

Rainfall

rain falls steadily in the valley

in much need of it we are but

too much of it can ruin plans,

puddles form in the low areas

streams are created downhill

tree leaves turn yellow when

there is too much just like our

house plants...  barriers are

painted on the walls to keep 

it out and ditches outside to

steer it into another direction,

we dress in loose fitting clothes

and carry umbrellas yet we

still return home soaking wet,

clouds carrying the moisture,

move back and forth and up 

and down but never leave...

outside furniture is protected

with waterproof covering, yet

the metal continues to rust,

reminding us nothing lasts.

July 9, 2023

Twelve

twelve times the bell tolls and

twelve times I try to remember,

twelve months have passed by and

I am trying to remember which

ones I missed this year...  photos

no longer help me to remember,

neither does the daily diary I keep

as oftentimes I forget to record

my feelings or what has happened;

twelve hours has already passed 

by this day and while I wait for 

the next twelve, I cannot seem to

remember what I did during the

passing of the first twelve...  and,

while I do recall a few things, a

majority of what transpired has

been lost to me and since no one

has visited me, I cannot ask them

to recall what it is we did today.

July 9, 2023

Walking Path

walk the path of least resistance

walk the path less traveled

walk the path others walked and

learn from all their mistakes...

advice given by our parents

advice given by our teachers

advice given by our religious leaders

none of which they ever followed...

and I wonder why they think they

have the right to tell us what to do?

life is a journey...  a path if you will

taking us from one place to another

taking us from one age to another

and when we reach a point in that

journey represented by age then

we tell others how to life their life...

it is a forever cycle, passing from

one generation to another and onto

another without the slightest regard

for individual thoughts and freedoms,

we are mysteriously observant of 

what others do and marvel in the

fact they are their own boss...  and,

when we have time to think for

ourselves we learn so much more.

July 8, 2023

Sightings

a spiral silo of cool air sweeps

across the couch where I sit,

small hairs on the back of my 

bristle as if I am shivering...

strange sensation evaporate

into the pores on my skin and

I query myself as though I

were lead counsel but also

in the witness box...  who is

watching I turn to see...  but

no one is there, except the

shadows of my imagination

who have stopped hiding, 

hoping to see a breakdown;

I am confused but not stupid

pushing them back into the

corner from whence they came,

standing there ready...  in case 

there are more...  a reflection

of light pours through the

glass door at right angles and

I smile at the rainbows dancing.

July 6, 2023

Morning Knowing

not too early in the morning I awake

the sun is usually up and behind clouds

my body is already fatigued as if I   

needed more than 10 hours sleep...

my eyes hurt and my nose drains and

I feel a tad wobbly when I walk even

though my paces are much slower...

my throat is dry and it is hard to swallow;

moments later the nausea sets in as it

begins to rise in the stomach and then

permeates my entire body...  sitting 

down to catch my breath and rest is

my only option as I curse the tumors

growing inside of me, wondering if

they have been there a while or if they

are new and fast growing...  my future

dims...  putting it out of my mind, I try

busying myself with minute tasks that

have no reason to be done today...  I 

smile at the cat who has come up to 

rub against my leg in the hopes I will

pick him up and rub him...  and, just

when I bend over, the other two cats

approach wanting the same attention.

July 6, 2023

Laughing Wind

I sit in my chair like a deposed king

sits on his throne wondering what the

hell happened with all those peasants

who had at one time supported him...

I sit in my chair surveying the life 

that now surrounds me, seeing only

the boxes that still need to be emptied;

a sunroom without windows crosses

in front of my imagination, leaving

me with a worst case scenario and

no one with whom to share outcomes

and decide on a new direction since

this path seems to be well traveled...

shades of greens, yellows, and browns

float aimlessly outside my windows

as if trying to surround me with their

constant, positive attitudes when all

else is hopelessly lost in the smell of

the neighbor's outside bar-b-que,,,

shadows move across the table and

chairs, caught in a moving ballet

choreographed without music, just

the blowing of wind through the

trees in my front yard with laughter.

July 4, 2023

Cheap Thrills

cheap thrills when you are old

looking out the bedroom window

at the seventy-five-year-old widow

sunbathing on her back porch...

cheap thrills when the cat lays in

your lap and starts to make bread

while you are sleeping soundly...

cheap thrills when the washing

machine is vibrating and you are

taking your time trying to fix it...

cheap thrills when you decide to

answer the door in your underwear

to tell the Jehovah's witness that

you are not interested in prayers...

cheap thrills when the adult movie

you are watching turns out to be

the cartoon you are watching 

with your grandchildren, since

you had agreed to babysit them.

July 4, 2023

Guard Cats

reflection in the glass door indicates

darkness is on the other side...  and,

even though all the doors and windows

are locked to prevent intruders, we

are aware of the spirits of the night

that will seep through the cracks in

the walls to penetrate the inner sanctum

of our security...  baseball bats against

the closet door and knives under the

pillow let us know we have protection

should be awake in time...  a night

owl sits on the rail of the deck to ward

off any evil spirts who try to use the

wooden steps to gain entrance...  our

cats who were trained by the best mice

we could find (at the time) offer a

slightly different layer of protection.

July 3, 2023

Almost a Lifetime

over twenty-five thousand nights

and days have I seen so far and

several thousand more ahead...

some of them have been cold and wet

others have been humid and dry,

most of the knowledge acquired

was never used - left wondering

as to the point of it all...  a couple

of wives helped me celebrate life

and a couple of wives took more

life out of me than they gave back,

visions of memories without photos

flash through my mind from time

to time reminding me of how lucky

I was to be there even thought I

cannot remember the trip or the days

spent at those various locations...

friends were made and lost dozens

of times as I changed from one job

and location to another but when I

left those halls of chores none of them

made an effort to come with me or

stay in touch...  it is always amazing

how quickly life takes us to the end.

July 2, 2023

The Last One

a new house

a new location,

many rooms involved

overall its bigger...

a new street

and a new address,

new neighbors who

are more friendly than

the previous pests...

a sunroom replaces

the back porch and

we have no downstairs

but a small basement

area provides us

with sufficient space,

a smaller yard requires

less maintenance and

less time outside, so

no need for a hot tub or

a large swimming pool,

old age provides us with

weird blessing these days.

July 2, 2023

The Game

all the pawns have been deployed

none have returned as of yet...

the knights and bishops went a-lookin'

finding nothing but an empty castle;

the queen and king sat on the balcony

of their village townhouse trying

to decide if they eat out or cook

since the weather has been so hot

and humid lately...  the king flipped

the coin and it landed on its edge

and while he was trying to interpret

its meaning, the queen went into

town on her horse...  an hour later

she returned with cold Asian take-out

and a box of eight pawn replacements,

the knights and bishops were not far

behind her but had nothing to show.

July 2, 2023

Wild Horses

horses of a wild nature stampede

across the evening sky pulling the

storm clouds over our location...

we watch the stars disappear from

view as their replacements failed

to show up for duty...  it is the

nature of life that baffles us so

when considering the logic of

our decisions that were not first

cleared with the thought police

before conception...  we deliver

fresh food to the homeless who

have decided to camp out on 

our street, not really caring how

long they will be staying  since

they have agreed to mow our

lawn all summer...  the skies 

darken with an approaching

storm and we head to the storm

cellar for protection and sleep.

July 1, 2023

Change Me

every few generations take

us in a different direction,

get with the program or get

out of the way is the new

slogan tossed out at us...

we turn our backs on this

outrage...  it escalates the

onslaught and we drown in

our own angry as complaining

falls on deaf ears...  we are a

new minority that will go to

our graves in this contempt.

July 1, 2023

True Bearings

glory is won on the battlefield

in the boardroom if its business,

incorporated is the training ground

no matter where we are or go,

from generals and admirals to

chief executive officers and presidents

rank has its privileges and no one

will ever let you for it...  we see

the goal and strive to reach beyond

just as we see the battle and expect

to win the war...  we are a curious

breed of similarities and yet there

is no uniform of which to speak,

dressing as we deem appropriate,

my heart longs for the outside

where the air is clean and fresh

rather than inside where all the

rats hide behind the walls, hoping

your mistake will result in removal

and a new leader will pronounce

if our course is true or in retreat.

June 25, 2023

Age Unforgiving

age has its advantages

whether young or old,

vibrant youth without wisdom

decrepit senior with wisdom,

which one are you?  perhaps,

somewhere in between....

experience teaches much 

not found in books or 

from chatting with teachers,

a winding round with 

many ups and downs,

twists and turns, and dark

roads where one's friends

can take you by surprise...

of course, friends they were

not really, using you and your

thoughts to benefits their

goals over yours...  age is

unforgiving, and only will

you understand once there.

June 25, 2023