Rainfall

an overcast sky with no clouds

ceiling fans churning inside,

intermittant rain falling throughout the day

as if a warning from heaven that

more is on the way...  restless animals

venture out from their covers as if

needing to see themselves in the day,

playing in streams of water that

flow downhill past a variety of homes;

fog covers the tops of trees like a shawl

way too small for the wearer, their fat

bodies protruding out from under...

gusts of wind blow through the branches

cooling the inhabitants that remained

on the limbs...    birds walk about the

ground's surface searching for morsels

to satisfy their tiny appetites...   worms

stay hidden watching for them to pass by,

only to be plucked up by the little boy

who has decided to go fishing nearby.

23 May 2022

Counting on Family

rain falls in the valley bringing with it cooler temperatures,

doors to the outside are opened taking advantage...

robots patrol the hardwood floors looking for cat hair

and I wonder why I am alienated from family...   perhaps,

my attitude might be a key or maybe it is the truth I wrote

in a previous email...  who knows...  and, who cares it 

seems safe to say is the new course of action towards me;

expatriation is the new course of action, replacing the

ageless memories with which I have been left inside...

there is no honor nor integrity with this approach as

redemption pays the price for salvation and salvation lines

only the pockets of the wealthy...  we are no longer a

people of pride and our mobilities spread us too thin...

nigh collapses into day and vice versa - each day takes

father into time's indifference...  we fish in the mental

ponds of our enemies hoping to rob them of their fuure

while we protect our own investments...  family is the

price we must pay to live this kind of lifestyle...  especially

here in the valley where family rules without question.

23 May 2022

Night's Day Revealed

throughout the night we dream

in one-act plays, we're told...

and in no particular order do

they arrive other than one

right after the other...  we see

the day in variations and in

the recombination of events,

what we want or what we

perceived seems irrelevant;

our mind labels each one a

little differently than the one

before in order to sort and file,

but we see them clearly as if

we were really there...  we see

all the acts are they are rolled

out for our benefit and wonder

which one(s) are the more suited

to our purposes...  ignoring those

that do not make the grade...  we

hyperventilate about those that

portray us uncharacteristically

different and after complaining

to ourselves, our attention has

already gravitated to another

scene of a more reasonable

occurrence...  and, when all is

said and done for the night in

question, nothing is revealed to

us that we did not already know.

21 May 2022

Closeness Breeds Contempt

for thirty years they lived together

taking care of each other's needs

and for thirty years they resented

all the time that they had given

because it seemed to both they had

received less and less over the years;

and at a time, when age put them

both at risk and when they needed

each other more than ever before,

there was a separation of the heart

and mind and an unrepairable soul;

the years were kind to both and to

many places they traveled seeing

sights they never would have seen

alone or with another, but that made

no difference when it came to living

in the same friendless house of theirs;

their children gone forever as none of

them ever wanted to return to a home

that had no love inside and all their 

friends stayed away as well not having

the desire to listen to their feuding;

they retired to a home too big for them

that provided plenty of space for them

to remain apart during the day but

complained about the chores associated

with it, knowing the alternative would

leave them worse off than before...

and when the time finally came that

one of them was no longer living, the

other one mourned so deeply that in

a few months was found dead as well.

20 May 2022

May 27

a morning solution to the night awakens

doors open...  outside light enters...

cats sit side by side waiting for treats,

coffee warms in the microwave and

pods await to be pierced...  a channel

of news is selected...  we listen, perhaps

learn something new...  but, more than

likely just a reiteration...  negativity slurs

the future and obscures the past...  we

squat in mental sinkholes with our toys,

aberrations of our youth...  telltale signs

of change are mailed in daily to the

census takers who patrol the borders

between our states of mind hoping to

see latent signs of life...  a green life

surrounds our southern styles while

legumes replace beef - salads replace 

starch and soups sit on the breakfast

table for us to dip our french toast into,

a morning solution awakens from the

night - morning moisture clings to us

like wet clothes - our eyes open to the

reality of what life has now become.

18 May 2022

Sleepless Fascinations

Darkness surrounds me and my feelings

early morning as it is before sunrise,

the tapestry of sleep eludes me this night

as I sit on the couch wondering why...

windows to the outside world are dark

and reflective save a street light that

shines through one of them like a cross...

a ceiling fan rotates silently around as

its base quivers around in smaller circles

passing a gentle breeze down below...

quietness rings in my ears and I realize

my hearing has diminished for there

is absolutely nothing that I hear...

my eyes are fuzzy and unclear as I

attempt to focus them on nearby objects

then those not so close as they dim...

cats sit around me for their early morning

treat but not this early I say to myself and

their compliance disturbs me more...

morning coffee heated in the microwave

awakens me with each sip as its flavor

and aroma fills my empty living room...

a burden upon my shoulder sits, its 

claws dug into me like an angry cat

and I worry about its outcomes...

moments move slowly in the dark

and the eyes take their time adjusting,

sleep sits on the couch's arm watching.

17 May 2022

A Road Passes By

a paved road passes by the front of my house

it is used by vehicles large and small...

and on some days there is no traffic at all

sitting outside on my front porch,

on the other side of the paved road is a

large field belonging to the owner

who lives in a house on the hill

looking down on the rest of us...

he is never outside except to mow but

do not know if it is him or hired help,

neighbors on either side don't care

about our neighbor as they pretty much

mind their own business as well...

and when the occasion arises that we do

find ourselves talking it is usually about

meaning topics neither of us cares for,

we entertain ourselves on our back deck

when the sun is high in the sky and the

heat from the grill is more tolerable

and the flies are at a standstill...

time is of no concern here nor does it pay

attention to our endeavors - it passes by

just as quickly as it always has, leaving

very little in its wake except for age,

a paved road passes by in front of our house

and no one ever stops to say a word...

vehicles large and small pass by daily

never waving hello or goodbye...

a real estate broker once asked me

if I would sell... my response was unkind

and alone ever since I've been...

we live in the shadows of our future

and in the forgotten memories of our past,

the present never remains too long

but we grow old nonetheless...  we wonder

when we have nothing else to do

if this life we had is really worth it.

16 May 2022

Undisturbed

leaves flutter on a tree limb

it bends in the wind...

grass at its feet is unconcerned

ants move in single file

oblivious and unnoticed...

a feeder stands alone on a porch

waiting for hummingbirds

who have decided 

it is not yet time to be here...

a cat on my lap lays

kneading my thighs - his brother

under the coffee table sits

in a protective posture...

ceiling fans turn slowly

moving around the cool air

prematurely adjusted as the

heat arrived before the season;

our quiet community listens to the

sounds of the day not present

as inside most of us remain...

a cloudy day persists

creatures of the sun hide

small animals peer out of their

homes wishing for play...

the rest of the country does

not understand our way...

undisturbed silence filters through

the valley like blankets of wind

blowing gently and we hear not

what the rest of the world says

save the quiet of our solitude.

16 May 2022

Aged But Not Deceased

age grips us like a beggar whose outstretched

arm is always ignored until his homelessness

invades our private residential communities;

age lives inside us all waiting to be released

once youthful exuberance has been replaced 

by our middle-aged, government complacency;

age is harnessed in time and time is offered

to us all in incremental doses according to our

latent mental and physical acquired abilities;

age pulls us in opposite directions throughout

our lifetimes reminding us constantly that time

always seems to have the upper hand today;

age teaches us very little that we already knew

from the limited experience shared with us by

family, friends, and a few selected co-workers;

age leaves us on the front porch of our thoughts

and waits for us on the back porch of our desires

knowing the two are always unattainable dreams;

age gives us decades to remember then robs us

of that same opportunity as it twists the mind

into seeing life as complex webs of forgetfulness;

age keeps us out of the grave by reminding us

that our unfulfilled obligations must soon be

taken with a grain of salt due to  incoherence;

age is a beacon of hope that dissipates over 

time when we extend our opportunities past the

deadlines given to us shortly after our delivery.

15 May 2022

Recalibrating the Future

uncertainty lies on the ground in puddles of doubt

doubt falls from the heavens like spring showers

sinkholes of trust are discovered and hoisted into

bureaus of misinformation for dispositions while

the homeless are robbed of their lifestyles and

squirrels chase rabbits across the east valley...

values like apple cores tossed in the trash are

collected each Friday to fill in mental landfills,

politicians try not to be so political casting out

their fears in Sunday morning worship halls...

retirees recalibrate their future as they move in

and out of markets that bridge their fortunes

from the past to the present - chilling moments

freeze concerns in lieu of changed directions,

life moves in one direction but hope and fears

remain in the past holding onto those dreams

that the other side does not want to surface.

15 May 2022

Here... and Then

time flows forward from one

moment to the next, hovering

instantly before disappearing

into the past, never to be seen

again unless it is captured on

a photograph...  and, the image

never fades or gets older...  it

just remains as if it always was,

offering memories of a past that

can never be revisited otherwise;

time flows forward and never

backward unless it is in the

realm of deja vu...  or something

similar and yet time may have

never flowed past us at all then,

as it was just believed to be...

leaving time in an unfamiliar

juxtaposition with space while

manipulating mental reflexes;

time flows forward and we age

accordingly and life as we knew

it always seems to be disappearing

after the moment has appeared

and instantly leaves as if it were

taken or stolen by those who

have remained in the past... and,

each time has its own dimension

that survives as long as it needs

to stay in order for that time

to live a complete existence...

we are not who we were nor are

we who we are yet to become, we

are simply that which we know.

14 May 2022

The Soul's Lobby

just enough to stir the air,

they spin...

around slowly but consistently

with purpose...

tall ceilings capture the heat 

of the day,

venting it through a flat

surface...

we sit in overstuffed chairs

with high backs,

located in the lobbies of our

familiar accommodations;

with cocktails served precisely

when the sun can no longer

be seen through the window;

we nurture our thoughts

along with our drinks

and smile at the tourists

who have come by

for a visit...

seeking out the coolness of

the inside,

to escape the broadcasting of

the sun's heat;

our attention diminishes as if

losing more pieces than

anticipated while

playing chess...  knowing all

along that we prefer

backgammon...

there is no ice in the Middle East

and we long for civilization

and the dawn of

enlightenment...

we are remiss with our politeness

and beg our host's

indulgence...  seeing no

need to leave prematurely.

14 May 2022

First Breath of Life

the morning forms her opinion of the

day long before the first rays of light 

are seen in the valley of the living 

whose lives are now forfeited to make 

room for the scaliwags who have

joined us in our pursuits...  we are

proof of life, sharing our DNA with

those who would seek to meddle in

our affairs and who would seek to

control our actions...  we are free to

think what we will and act accordingly;

we are not frer to share our aspiration

or our understanding of them as that

is a variation of personality differences

cultivated in the mind and manifested

by the soul in covert actions...  we seek

each morning to take away the darkness

from which we have been burdened

and give us what she will before her

opinions change...   we are left to

mourn the loss of darkness on our own

as the light sees through us and we see

ourselves in substitute mentalities...

reaching the perverted destiny that

was pre-arranged while the darkness

attempted to rejuvenate us...  we are

victims of choice and decisions made

long ago before our first breath of life.

13 May 2022

A Past Unprotected

reflective memories fly in and out of consciousness

sights and sounds stir silently in the mind's innocence

rights of passage are shared with children's children

and the past never seems to forget its forgotten place;

tired travelers rest in imagination's treehouses that

becomes shelters in the storms of ignorance living

inside their fragile minds of hope and peacefulness

yet left behind when leaving home unexpectedly;

garbage trucks carry away yesterday's detritus and

empty containers are borrowed from the neighbors

once we have thrown away all our photographs taken

quite conspicuously on our last summer vacation;

our hearts were stored in containers as if our dead

bodies lay in caskets to be buried in trash cemeteries

stolen from us by foreign investors after we had stolen

the land from them all those years ago in our dreams;

haunted by the truths of misinformation and doubt

we barter with our souls for salvation from our past

while seeking reparations from aliens who set it into 

motion when invading our universe a millennia ago.

13 May 2020

Valley Daydreaming

an open door with glass paneling

streaming sunshine passes through

there are no morning limits while

the sun moves across the sky...

feeders for birds in tiny form hang

from the eves of the porch swaying

in the gentle breeze of the spring

easily enveloping the valley and

its green surroundings encouraged

by premature seasonal rains...

time slides to a gradual pace as

the valley's inhabitants move like

the tortoise in the fairy tale race,

we sit on porches and watch the

grass and the rabbits that scamper

along the ground being barked at

by dogs inside of enclosures...

our thoughts are mixed and un-

encumbered, laying on the floor

of all our uncertainties waiting

for the decline of the sun and the

end of another valley daydreaming.

12 May 2022

Truthfulness Remains Here

cool mornings...

warm afternoons...

temperate evenings...

east Tennessee at its best

in the spring 

of each year recently,

from one day to the next

we live in perplexities

not knowing what

if anything

lies ahead of us,

even though.

we are intimately familiar

with our past...

a past that brought us

through today...

we dodge our responsibilities

in favor of life both

moderate and serene

in its simplicities...

we want for nothing

making no compromises

with what we have...

we are who we are and live

accordingly...  seeking no

reparations of any kind,

except maybe the stink bugs

that plague our porches...

we are as proud as we are

independent asking that

our leaders refrain from 

interferences into our

ways of life...  as we are

the only truthful ones left.

11 May 

Mind Wandering

Along the southern shores of my thoughts,

I glimpse into the northern hemisphere of

my imagination taking me into the upper

atmosphere of creativity where I become

strings of energy floating from one dimension

to another in a effort to gain the truth of our

mortal existence...  an existence  spawned 

by the stars and altered by travelers too

distant to be understood...  modifying the

sights and sounds by which were had

been imprinted...  children of the heavens

journeyed with us through our manifestations

giving us the power to move in and out of

the realities that had been left for us...  we

were priests on a cosmic journey, bringing

forth the gospel of everything but our own

awareness of and about our true creation.

11 May 2022

1998 Series - December #5

 

I.

maybe what I should do is

take some topics and write

how I feel about them...

whether prose or poetry,

it does not matter...  nor does

the writing actually but I

would like to know just how

I feel about some of these 

issue to see who I really am.

II.

I have gotten up early all these

years to put my thoughts down

on paper and in the process I 

have grown much stronger in

the way that I think and in how

I write...  even though, it does

not really appear that way to me.

1998 Series - December #4

I.

the ego has been my

mortal enemy and for

fifty years we have

been doing battle with no

one ever really winning...

it is this ego that has

made me who I am and

no one else so far...

it is up to me to bring

the power under control

once and for all and 

stop these little battles

that we have all the time.

II.

if my focus is on why issues

don't work...  then I will continue

to manifest situations and

behaviors so that what is not

working will continue not to 

work for me...  and I will have

to chase my tail rather than have

my tail follow as it really should.

1998 Series - December #3

I.

I am halfway there

and improving...

or so this one test says,

and before you know it,

I will know most of

what I need to know

from a testing standpoint,

but will I know it well

enough to use all of it

in daily actualities?

II.

I like this time of

the morning to be

with my thoughts

and write and think

anything I want

without fear of what

someone else might

be thinking of me.

III.

a wise man once said that 

we don't know enough to

be pessimistic which makes

more sense to me than all

that I had previously thought.

1998 Series - December #2

I.

if we both agree

then it is obvious one

is not needed here.

II.

if this morning were to last,

how would you want to spend

it?  would it be sleeping or

eating or studying or relaxing

or engaging in some sort of

sexual activity?  perhaps it

would be shopping or arguing

about whatever...  still, it would

be interesting to know you

and what your thoughts are.

III.

I wonder how you would

surrender yourself so that

I might survive...  and if you

did...  I would refuse the offer

but it would be nice to know

you thought like that which 

I do not believe you ever

would do for me no matter

what the outcome might be.