* * * * * * * * * *
MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN MY OWN
Choices, on the other hand, are all mine... good, bad, or indifferent...
I recall… that
sometime around 7th/8th grade, 95% to 99% of the time my
parents controlled just about everything that took place in my life; but, after
that point-in-time, my life was perceived by me to be my own, however, I was
mistaken.
- From age 13-18, my life was controlled by my teachers and my peers
- From age 18-20, my life was controlled by my college administrators, teachers, & employers
- From age 21-27, my life was controlled by the military, college instructors, & employers
- From age 21-45, my life was controlled by my first wife, relatives, & employers
- From age 45-67, my life was controlled by my second wife and employers.
- From age 60-present, my life was/is controlled by my Oncologists & Cardiologists
- From age 67-present, my life was/is controlled by Social Security & Medicare
My career has spanned 45 years and I have done the following
jobs or held the following positions:
- Waiter/busboy
- Driver/messenger
- US Navy enlisted – communications
- Warehouse worker
- Lawn care
- Road construction
- Machine operator
- Chemical Packer
- Supervisor
- Auditor
- CSR
- Sales person
- Trainer
- Computer technician
- Curriculum designer
- Course writer
- Technical writer
- Manager
- Director
- President/CEO
- Professor
- Program Chair
- Assistant Dean
- Dean
- Consultant
I have supervised more than 25 employers and over 500 volunteers (Arts Council Street Festival) because some of the jobs/positions
were performed simultaneously, but I never was employed by more than 4/5
employers at one time. In each of these
jobs/positions, my actions were pretty much controlled by someone else, even
though I had a little variety of expression.
When I owned a consulting company and could make all kinds
of decisions from the perspective of what I wanted or did not want to do, I
still had to have everything checked out by my client for approval or for them
to make changes to my ideas.
In retirement, my life is controlled by the money I have or
the money that I do not have as opposed to me just deciding that this or that
is what I want to do. My decisions are
radically transformed by my wife and what it is that she may want to do or not
want to do.
I do, however, have the ultimate decision regarding when I
want to go to bed at night but not necessarily go to sleep as my body
oftentimes does not agree with that decision; and, in the mornings, the three
cats that we have actually decide when it is that I am going to wake up and
give them their morning treats.
Finally, I am controlled by my Creator, regardless of
whether I attended Church.
Why do I think this?
Not sure why, I believe this way, but I do.
I believe in a Creator as opposed to the “big bang” theory
and I believe that this Creator can change the course of mankind, if this
Creator so desires and I believe that my entire life has already been seen by
my Creator and that I am or have turned out to be that which I was intended to
be all the time.
And, that this life,
my life, has occurred this way regardless of whether, or not I wanted it to
occur this way.
- I was born without my consent
- My life was lived the way it was without my consent
- Cancers entered my body without my consent
- My death will occur without my consent
What is really odd about feeling this way is that I also
believe that we have the ability to make choices, even though the choices that
we have made or will make are already known to our Creator and consequently can
be influenced, leaving us with an unawareness that they have been influenced.
Once we understand this, our life just seems to flow… as we know it should.
* * * * * * * * * *
