Politics

there is no final rehearsal,

just the live performance,

and we all know our roles

so no problems should occur;

yet, there seems to be reluctance

in pulling back the curtain

and facing all those people

to whom we've been lying to.

16Jun14

Climate Change

the morning dresses herself
in light summer clothes to
protect against the sun's heat,
but enough to resist the rain;
a gentle moisture of humid mist
falls through the cracks in the sky,
landing on head and shoulders,
redistributing the dust collected
from working in my mental fields;
the parched earth hollers out
through parted seams in clay soil
begging for forgiveness but the
cries go unheard as all the
warnings went unheard before;
children play inside, avoiding
pollution and parents struggle
with ever changing rules and
believers just accept their fate
with encouraging words of
"I told you so..."
birds fly abroad to foreign lands,
animals hibernate in caves,
fish float atop boiling waters,
and some of us simply
scratch our heads and return
baseball caps to cover baldness
since there is no solution and all
of this seems so hard to believe.

16Jun14

Eyes

eyes,

tired from the night

peer

back at me

in the mirror;

eyes,

seeing what they

should not

fill

with anger;

eyes,

too king to move on

accept

partial blindness

preventing

lustful revenge.

16Jun14

Attention

it is strange how felines want
to be right there with you,
while others remain aloof
until there is something they
need or want and then are
your best buddy and pal...
as they rub on you to get you
to attend to their needs; so, you
might as well accept that some
attention is better than none.

16Jun14

Shopping

window shopping in Amsterdam
was her favorite past time as I recall,
and she would take visitors by
the carload to show them the legal
side of adult life that was more or
less forbidden to her at home.

16Jun14

Mistakes

          we are all marked with

          the sins of time when our
          past decides to revisit;
          reassuring us it has not
          the promise to stay away
          unless similar mistakes
          are once again made.

16Jun14

Missed Out

I sit before you today

mired deep in thought

not intellectual

I fear, but emotional

and too much so

for me to take time

to formulate the right

words to express myself;

so, into the watch I go

seeing time pass

as if in slow motion;

I watch while

living fast forward,

skipping over many

of the things I need to

know in order to love you

like I should have done.

15Jun14

Elders

equal, we are all conceived
but unequal do we all live,
and all our animosities
come from those roots, and
all our myths and legends
serve not us well since we
stand divided than bound;
so, should they be challenged
and new ones found or
should they be left alone
like our elders did, letting
natural selection and competition
be our tribal survival rites?

15Jun14

Hesitation

how do I display my feelings
to you when I do not know
how I feel about myself,
other than with my hands mostly,
but sometimes by my heart;
but, that gets too twisted and
distorted to attempt to explain;
and if, I were to try my
rendition of its true feelings
would be so full of short
explanations, I would be too
embarrassed to see you again.

15Jun14

Continued

the details of my life

have remained too

sketchy to protect

those who are not

part of it, while

embarrassing those

when I can, who are;

and so,

that is how it has been

for all these years...

rude and rather sarcastic,

appearing not to care,

and when I do,

appearing somewhat

arrogant but when

discovered,

not admitting

the real truth

whatever it may be,

since that truth

is solely based upon

remembering

and that has always

seemed like such a

foolish way to go.

15Jun14

Looking

alone in the night
I wander
looking for that
which brought me here,
from the serenity
of my thoughts,
from the security
of my mindfulness,
from the restful bliss
of my dreams,
but see nothing
but myself
walking alone
in the back,
looking.

15Jun14

Justice

bound and bonded
by the truth,
I lie like those in power,
not caring
if caught or not,
knowing
justice favors the rich
and clever but
never the innocent.

15Jun14

Remembering

life burns inside me like

toxins burn the soil, leaving

them barren and smelly;

life has her way with me

like a ten dollar whore

providing satisfaction in

some lonely, back alley;

life has given me insights

and obscure clues wrapped

in riddles for me to solve,

but, never has she been

deliberate...

in the ways

she leaves me alone to

ascertain or not,

my direction;

life has taken away my anger

and my physical releases too

while providing courage

in me not to care too much,

yet, leaves me

hanging...

with a haunting ability

to explicitly remember.

15Jun14

Sleep Watching

within each moment
segments flash by,
some distorted
some not,
linked together by an
invisible glue
like dark energy
of a kind,
as if it were a bolt
or a pin
holding them together,
instantly...
then releasing,
tossing them through
the moment
to be
quickly seen,
like strings,
then vanish...
before,
reappearing on
another side,
in another moment,
disguised and transformed,
barely recognizable
but there...
and,
never really noticed
until too late
and
disorientation puts
you back to sleep.

15Jun14

Different Gifts

oftentimes, I dream of ageless romance
but not the kind one might expect;
mine would transcend the need for sex
although it would be present all the time;
mine would involve quiet dinners,
walks along the beach hand-in-hand,

opening doors and smiling more frequently;
mine would not use words of anger
or indifference...
or disrespect...
or contempt,
but,
loving words that show sincere kindness;
mine would be the working partner kind
where tasks and chores divide equally
and actions would not wait for directions;
mine would be the kind where agreeing
to disagree would prevail more often and
provide guidance but in so doing we would
forget and forgive before going to bed.

14Jun14

Dance

let me dance for you

in the hallway,

let me dance for you

in the bedroom,

let me dance for you

by the lake,

let me dance for you

in the backyard pool,

let me dance for you

in a parking lot,

let me dance for you

in a school,

let me dance for you

during Church services,

let me dance for you

in public everywhere,

but, do not take away my

need to dance for you

before I die a fool.

14Jun14

No Absolutes

how desperate we have become
to protect our sanity from those
who think we are the opposite;
but, in a world of subtle
and gentle illusions,
we can immerse ourselves
in whatever water we want to;
still, it is rather peculiar
that perceptions guide
the truth's reality and those
who have the power
and the control seem to
direct our infantile destinies
while maintaining
a spiritual presence
inside all their homes;
yet, it can never be any different,
really...
it cannot...
trust me...
because if it were,
we'd all be trading places.

14Jun14

Arise & Seek

darkness prevails around me
but not depression or
melancholy as some might say;
it is like spelunking with
no way out and
wondering why you are there;
it is like reaching a plateau
and having no desire
to continue to the top but
not because of fear;
it is like waking up before dawn
and becoming unimpressed
with the dark while realizing
light is several hours away
and you have no need to sleep;
a bigger, more interesting question
floats inside these shadows
to which there is no reply
or no rebuttal...
just a quiet admission of
not being able to sleep
the night after chemo.

14Jun14

Thinking Out Loud

in my chair

not an electric chair

I sit

contemplating,

not my naval

or the profound bliss

of enlightenment

but

my understanding

of

how small

we are

relative

to the universe

and

how many of

us perceive

somehow

being

born into

entitlement.

13Jun14

Flashback

thunderous intercourse races
across the blackened sky as

if we have just ordered food
and the chef was considering;
rain fell on top of rain on top or rain,
we removed soggy clothes
wrapping towels around nakedness,
preparing to eat by candlelight;
pre-induced and prolonged sexual
fantasies dart here and there
never really landing on either;
lights flicker but remained down
and we ate out of cans, ignoring
the tin rattle of our spoons;
shades of everything but gray
covered the night transparently,
and we were undisturbed within
our memories and our sex.

13Jun14

Again & Again

backwards bent we offer help
declined before but provided again,
narrowly escaping unintended
solutions and paddle our way home
through a working river of poorly
constructed misconceptions and
fat little greedy people who
would do whatever,
if they only could only become
thin and resilient once again,
but the good news is that you
are finally considering demand.

13Jun14

An Affair

your body is fascinating
to touch,
caress,
and explore
as it lays next to me in
deep sexual contentment;
intertwined, I feel the heat
of your passion
surge through me,
bolts of lightening pleasure
and lighthearted orgasms;
touching you
touching me,
we inherently feel the source
pulling on it like taffy,
expanding circular sensations;
doubtful echoes of delight
soften our romantic notions
and we both understand
this is not what we need
as we belong elsewhere.

13Jun14

It's Just There

for which we hunger
steals the show,

breathes against the
back of our necks
raising short hairs of
delight and apprehension;
it consumes and
pacifies, destroys
and enlightens as it
pushes us down dark
tunnels and sets us
afloat like lily pads
on nocturnal ponds;
it alters our vision
and what we notice
blurs within its own
reputation of insights
too delicate to be touched,
yet, too dense to be
transformed into light;
for which we hunger
burns in the core
of our souls, leaving
us helplessly in love
with the quest.

13Jun14

Just As...

just as the sky is the roof for earth

so too am I the roof for myself with

shimmering stars guiding me and

blue skies appear on rainy seasons;

just as innocence grows youthful horns

struggling to be noticed, so too do I

notice those who need protection while

defending those who defend not;

just as life seems to seep out of the dead and dying

so too does life seep out of me, but

not before I know what I need to know

or do that which I need to do again;

just as purpose must have meaning

so too has my life unfolded from the beginning

take me along of journey of no regrets

refunding all the money I had lost on bets.

12Jun14

Choice Right

the eyes of choice are upon us
or should that be Ides; still, it
is of no concern until wrong
choices have been made;
forever forgiving is what we do
no matter how serious the choice
unless someone has been offended
with a different attitude and
then you are modestly belittled.

12Jun14

All That Matters

our journeys begin at birth
and end at death and what
we do in between the two
is what really matters; but,
some would say that in
death we are given rebirth
into life ever lasting with
all the rights and privileges
associated to that existence;
and, while that may or may
not be true, depending upon
one's belief is where that
resides; still, there is an
inevitable gap between
birth and death and what we
do or don't do is really all
that matters to us anymore.

12Jun14

Heart Hurt

our hearts lay wounded

and bleeding

on the dirty ground

giving us pause

and apprehension

to ever continue;

still, our minds travel

the winds like Eagles

looking for sunny skies

and a place where all

animals roam freely

that we may live life

in solitude until healed

and they can be

returned to our bodies.

12Jun14

At Last

how peculiar is it that

two should met at the

end, under adversity

just so they can touch what

it would have been like to

have something real and

so very, very special.  

12Jun14

Life Centers

life seems to dwell on

uncertainties and

the unpredictable,

calculating and

recalculating for

redundant predictability,

knowing all along

the centers of good chocolate

will never be solid and

wishing it would be different

is a foolish venture indeed.

11Jun14

Somehow, It Returns

a soft misty rain falls outside

and in it I stand contemplating

the inevitability of something,

but cannot remember  what it is

as this bottomless emptiness

swallows me like Jonah, leaving

me swimming around as if floating

in a watery void of consciousness

and muted light with no discernable

path or direction…   and,

a dead silence that is breathtaking

in its awesomeness of nothingness;

and yet here I am floating in it

wishing there could be more  to this

while knowing that there is not.

11Jun14

Differences

what do I see

different from you

and would that be

at what time of day,

I wonder or

generally speaking

is it throughout

the day since our

sight is not the same;

and, did you want

that ranked by

time of importance,

since we are

dimensions apart on

that one as well;

and, do you want it

annotated or referenced

in any way to

hasten the process

of understanding or

did you simply want

to muddle through

like a water buffalo

stuck in the slummy

mud of your beliefs?

11Jun14