my fingers slipped down

between your thoughts;

your eyes closed as

a mental orgasm left

you in convulsions.

April 1988

I spit on your grave and laugh

at the legacy you left behind;

accepting nothing from you, I not allow

your ideas to become mine; so,

if I pose not threat to you, why is it

so critical that I become like you?


March 1988

the bubble of intellect

inside my head has no

right to have the thoughts

it does as it's job is to

put things in order, not

to interpret the ordering.

March 1988

In my mind

you are dead;

In my heart

you will always be;

But, I will get

get over you;
It has to be.

January 1997

we shared hateful

unkind words,

and now that I have

cooled off, I

want you to know

how sorry I am

and how much

fighting and us

do not belong and

behind us I hope

we can put this and

enjoy each other again.

February 1997

tell me a lie if

you will and I will believe

eventually.  Mar 97

take me to  Boston

or take me to Denver or

take me home with you.  Mar 97

I have no cares, and

no worries and nobody

who cares about me.  Mar 97

will you stand behind me and

with your arms, pull my

body back to yours;

flesh against flesh

hand squeezing my breasts

recklessly moving down my torso

feeling my hair and excitement build

and subside with your touch;

will you stand before me and

with your arms pull my
body forward into yours;
flesh against flesh
your breasts against mine
our hands exploring the roundness
behind where we connect the best,
mound against mound,
wetness trickling, tickling down;

Will you bite me, kiss me, suck me

tease me with your feelings eternally,
softness against roughness
light against dark
opposites inside and out
random convulsions peak,
we tenderly soothe and carress,
legs snake in between each other's legs
pulling tighter . . .  as tight as we can . . .
but without complete knowledge
we can only desire what is there,
sealed and delivered without despair . . .




will you stay around me . . .

do you dare?

December 2010

so much so, I love you lady
I cannot stand not to be around
you and when I am, I get
depressed and want to sleep;
what will be my excuse
after the treatment ends
because my apathy will show for sure;
I want to hold you, kiss you
and feel you with my hands;
I want to lie with you naked and
feel your nakedness against mine;
I want to push my body into yours
and look out at you from inside;
I want to stare at you at a restaurant
until my food turns cold and
we are reluctantly asked to leave;
I want to ride with you in a car,
and never stop listening to you talk;

I want to wash your body and your hair . . .
I want to massage you with lotions . . .
I want to walk lonely beaches down,
hand-in-hand from sunrise to sunset;
I want to dance a slow dance with you
as you lay your head upon my
shoulder, smelling your wine perfume,
and make love to you all day,
never leaving the bed in which we lay;
but not until the treatment ends.

December 2010

I am in awe . . .

speechless,

with what I see;

I cannot imagine why or how

you have such inner

peace and strength.

May 1997

there is no joy
with me today
since sleep has not

crossed my path;
my eyes look cross-eyed
at the page
blurred and
wondering when
they will finally
get a chance to close,
and I notice
rhythms with
my breathing
wishing it would
put me to sleep.

May 1997

I am not yours to abuse
nor am I yours to love;
what I am is yours to experience
all that we can before we
grow too old to appreciate
physically what we have
easily appreciated mentally.

May 1997

there is no time like the present
to make a plan . . .
or create goals . . .
but when is there time to implement,
especially when,
one is not sure what to do;
those who seem to succeed
have a plan,
and make it work
while those who always plan
but do nothing, like me,
are referred to as dreamers.

May 1999

Someone on my side, I wish,
to be with no one but me,
and wish more I do that
feelings were shared by both,
instead of only by me, all of
which are hidden inside.

May 1999

I know I am lucky

with all that has happened in my lie;

it has not been either

too bad or too good but that

does not mean it has been normal;

I know I am lucky

for being able to get by, but
life should be more than
that before one has to die;



I know I am lucky
with all that has come my way,
none of which has been asked for,
which is what I am looking for today.

May 1999

look both ways before

you leap is what the sign says

if there is the time.

May 1999

each night is

long and boring

without you in

my arms, but

the price I pay

for that comfort

is really too high.

May 1999

I wanted to believe
that you wanted to
be with me but the
comments you make
keep me from looking
below the surface.

May 1999

It is funny

in a way how

teenagers believe

smoking makes them

more adult-like

and by the time

they realize

it is foolish,

it is too

late to cry.

May 1999

WITH . . .

With my arms, I keep you at a distance,

With my eyes, I draw you near,

With my mind, I see you standing there:
               walking forward,
               embracing,
               tightly pressing,
               almost one . . .




With my hands, your head cradled, draw your head to mine:
               bodies embracing,
               hearts racing,
               slow motions,
               rhythms abound . . .

With my fantasies, our nerves dance on blue-flame fires:
               eyes closed tightly,
               lips parted slightly,
               tongues move lightly,
               caressing gently . . .




With our fingers, delicately and deliberately we explore:
     desires open gradually,
     sensations shudder masterfully,
               passions ripple elastically,
               waves of lust we ride . . .

With my words, I have delivered you to my heart forever.

November 4, 2010

             

beside me you stand in sheer, see-through silken caring
holding my fears and feelings in your creamy hands;
summer heat jumps into me like water sizzling on a stove top,
shattering my defenseless posture - our bodies touch
and burn with a lover's passion not yet felt;
your eyes gaze into mine with reckless wantonness
prying open my feelings - yours for the taking;
your strength becomes mine . . .
your courage becomes mine . . .
your love becomes mine . . .
my failing becomes your success . . .
my need becomes your desire . . .
my love becomes your fulfillment . . .

I cannot tell you how I feel because you already know it;
you cannot show me how you feel because I already see it;
we will forever be linked together by a soulful connection
even though no act has been consummated;
our bodies will forever burn with desire for each other;
our minds will forever be linked together by our similarities;
our eyes will forever share a secret connection that our
bodies have yet to share, but one day will and that
explosive moment will seal our fate and love forever;
the more we run, the more it follows
relentless in its pursuit, and we think we can
master its outcomes, like we mastered our attractions;
beside each other we stand and always will.

November 8, 2010

on the couch you lay
on your stomach,
arms stretched out above your head
bent at the elbow towards each other,
hands clasp the wrists
on which your head rests,
facing to the left and away
a blindfold covers your eyes;
your nude body shines

from the dim lights,

curtains drawn,

seductive music enshrines

your wickedness,
soft and gentle fingers
trace down your spine,
gliding and caressing
over the smooth roundness,
to your slightly parted thighs,

quivering sligntly as
my fingers move
ever so slightly around,
and down to
where your knees bend,
then return to the
crease which separates
the two lucious mounds;
hips arch upwards
anticipating and
inviting more . . .

November 12, 2010

there is no lust in our eyes when we
look at each other, only desire . . .
there is not wall between us or behind
which we hide behind, only a need to disclose . . .
there are no anxieties, only calm . . .
there are no intensities, only peace-of-mind . . .
upside down our lives have become
concerned about the current, not what
has been suspended in time;
curious, blind little creatures, scurrying
around within our complacent zones
of accepted indifference with security;
incomplete becomes complete,
the unseen becomes unseen for real.

11-11-10

we both hide from ourselves

projecting different images

while assuring ourselves that

love we will never find.

November 10, 2010

by Picasso

Summer comes early but

winter never left as cold hearts

burdened with life's despair

vote in changes to change the culture

of a society that no longer cares;

birds squawk out mating calls

as green and blue colors

offer up the season and warmth

dispels all fears . . .  even for the old feline

who complacently sleeps at the feet

of her master who is slowly dying and
quietly begs for one more day.

May 4, 2012

Days move fast, mornings slowly
re-awakened thoughts tremble
silent sounds echo
inside the ears of decades
perceived to be sleeping;
clarity of the mind questioned
its purpose resolute,
and standing its ground,
despite the limitations of exercise
and of haunting memories.

Days move fast, mornings slowly
wisdom supersedes accountability
tired eyes peer through glass
made by Corning and the
rest of the world camps in
my backyard placing bets on
how often it will be mowed;
and if, the price of gasoline
will prevent it execution; but,
of course, no pun intended.



Days move fast, mornings slowly
an uneducated public stands nude
without embarrassment, although some do,
waiting without anticipation
for the next choice on their behalf to be made;
motherless babies cry in the arms of strangers
while the rest of the world sits in salons
in petrified silence polishing their nails as
knots in their hair are combed out by
slim, young males with high voices.

May 3, 2012

class lady that you are,
a cool sip of wine,
gaze into my eyes

and show me the way

out of space and time;

together we can be
just you and I,
drawn together like magnets

merged and submerged

into the ecstasy of attraction,

only distantly felt and shared . . .

into the feeling constantly pronounced . . .

into the waves of desire

that have carried us like rip tides

far out to the edges of the sea . .

attracted and distracted,

sexualities follow us around

like toys for kittens who

have been left alone too long;

spread your wings and fly to me

tenderly from the sky pull you down do I;

pulled into you am I,

joined as one forever,

love never dies.

November 11, 2010

behind your genuine appearance you hide,
a stylish, sophisticated walk of elegance projects
the need to turn a head or two;
caring, giving, and sincere without a doubt,
an enticing smile shields the innocent loneliness
that you have protected all these years;
soft-spoken thoroughness is the trademark
on which you have built your reputation;
a large circle of friends help you blot out the pain,
alter egos seen in others, by your side stand as well
while you play the role of a transplanted NY model;
naked, you stand before me, vulnerable but without shame
as I stand before you in the same way;
our joined perceived flaws and insecurities
voluntarily intertwine, connecting us like lovers,
who have been denied a lifetime;
our paralyzed attraction freezes us in time,
our layers removed, not sure of what we'll find.

November 10,2010

at your feet I bow myself

on my knees and wide apart

as you have commanded,

behind my back

my arms are placed

my wrists bound securely;

a bindfold covers my eyes

darkness except for the

scent of your excitement;

my naked body awaits

your instructions once again;

a slight shiver runs down my spine

as you insert a finger

into my open mouth

and it is you I taste

and relax and you move

in and out, asking me

to gently close my lips,

softly sucking you in . . .

December 2, 2010

Mornings come quickly at 5:00 am,

before the mind’s imagination tilts

like an arcade game with sunshine

results when rain is forecasted;

treat hungry cats prowl with an

alien-invader instinct and satisfied

curiosities have them wildly racing

up and down my hardwood floors;

ceiling fans spin with metal-grinding regularity

gently pushing a breeze through the birthing

of thoughts newly heated with coffee and

two full spoons of cappuccino mix;

forgotten words and images of words

roll out from behind memories like

underarm sweat trickling down the body

when nerves are over-powered by fear;










a flash of reality, awakened by the

hands of a bodiless clock announce

time has once again played out her

role after years of quick passing experience;

fingers reach out for the knowledge

worn-out joints pinch nerves of doubt,

eyes ache without teardrops of sleep

while a shaking hand scribbles

nonsense on a blank, underlined page;

idiots stand behind the silhouettes

of more idiots who images recoil

from he who summoned them as again

the fan and clock harmonize under the

glare of the lights that tear through space

like a cat eating a toy scurrying along the floor;

postponed hesitation seizes the day

and challenged movement is replaced

by a reluctance similar to leaving lovers.


April 30, 2012

how long will it be

before I take action;

how much will I endure

of the way you treat me,

or I you,

for that matter;

how many days,

months, and years

must pass before we

realize we are of

two different beliefs:

 in how we want to live our lives,

in what we want and especially

in what we want to give.

May 2, 1999

You pretend to love

pretend to care

but there is not illusion

and no reason

to believe;

you have changed

and have not stopped using

men to get what you

want or think you deserve.

May 1, 1999