morning easily arrives when my thoughts turn to you,

of yesterday's first blush of you in your black and grey,
of our quick conversation and stolen glances,
of our purposeful avoidance that no one noticed;
of your need to call me and my need to hear.

morning easily arrives as only hours separate us,

and work precludes our need for closeness,
making excuses to talk or text or walk by,
hoping the night passes by unnoticed and our
appetites remain unsatisfied even though we have
our snacks several times a day, wondering if
Maslow understood his own hierarchy at all.

evening arrives precariously unannounced as if
the soliloquy was never heard like unpublished
notes from a not-so-famous manuscript, but
the main characters are real and miss receiving
all the love they cannot show unless they lay
it down between random smiles and knowing looks.

the hand of sleep closes my eyes more than once,
your image dances carelessly, escaping from the shadows
of restraint and the desire you left upon my lips;
your memories spoon mine as if for years they had been offered
and now for the first time received like a lover's thrust;
your heart holds mine tenderly, gently bringing it back
from what it did not know but surrenders to your now.

down between our bellies, your hand slides deliberately

carassing my warmth until it begins it stroking;
gently, lips kiss my face and lips as upside-down our
bodies move to establish a locked-in embrace;
your smile esplodes in my face, my grip tightens,
our love passes between us like electrical currents,
resting in amazement inside each other's dreams.

December 30, 2010

I am an admirer of yours,
I have been watching you
and I know they
are watching me
and will be doing so
for a very long time.

April 19, 1997

I see you from a distance,
admiring you as do
all the other men here; and,
I am not sure if I want
to let myself desire
what everyone else does.

Aril 3, 1997

I am bitter . . .

I am angry . . .

I am depressed . . .

I am frustrated and resentful . . .

I want revenge, but

I realize that is

the wrong way to go, and

I know should  fall silent

my mouth closed and

let the courts do what they will

while systematically I

find another course of action.


April 16, 1997

we live in a world

of jealousies,

many of which are

self-induced but

many of which are

brought about by

insecure women.

April 21, 1997

here is another
woman that I want for, and
I wonder why, sir.  April 1997

I have got to get
beyond you, even though there
are lasting feelings.  April 1997

you see me here and

you see me there but you will
not see me with you.  April 1997

I cannot search . . .   all
I can do is continue,
it will come to me.  April 1997

it has been over
seven months since you left and

you are still with me.  April 1997

long legs and fingers have been on my mind all night long

imagining your fingers and legs intertwined with mine;
flesh again flesh – bone against bone
slipping and sliding our way through the day;
long legs and fingers play across mine
dilly and dally along the way, creating sensations that
could take us right out of our foreplay today;
long legs and fingers slither their way along the
side streets of our passions and always parallel
to the center of our emotional town;
long legs and fingers hold each other’s attention
beyond the dusk and the dawn and the sounds
of our voices as we whisper our goodbyes on the phone;
long legs and fingers my once have seen us as strangers
but now spend our evenings on porches, rocking our memories to the thoughts of a new day;
long legs and fingers, lingers and remembers
how graceful our love was today.

December 15, 2010

words lay suspended in the air,

free-floating comments surrounding

your brief exposure to the night’s pleasures;

wanton undulations cool the

sultry breeze covering your nakedness,

while subtle submissions tend

to all your forgotten desires and adult

fantasies fence-in your youthful exuberance;

actions head not the words uttered

by the joys of ecstasy but a gentle,

cool,  early-morning rain cleanses

and renews a virgin nature.

4-15-12

the skies of passion burn red and

newly announced virgins release the

tensions of clinched fists as they open-up

themselves to reluctantly receive;

a sleeping dawn awakens,

relentlessly the evening fades

and forgetfulness replaces tear;

couples return to their sacred vows,

children subconsciously follow,

and a once decadent world

tacitly embraces the hollowness

of a once profound love.

4-16-12

Without warning and out of nowhere

Our attraction came, disarming us

With the skill of a surgeon

Who need not leave a name;

Indifferent towards the world of love

Secure with our lives the way they are,

Off-balance we were thrown, placed

Into a void of unintended consequences,

and intimacies we left behind

in another place and

in another time

we believed to be buried

with all our other

superficial relics.



November 10, 2010

Forever hidden or so it seems,
have been my feelings;
forever denied or so it seems,
has been my love for another;
forever protected or so it seems,
has been my need to care;
until now . . .
my love,
until now . . .
and as it is with most missed
becomes my most desired.


November 13, 2010

To say that I miss you
is an understatement;
To say that I do not think of you
is a lie;
To say that I had carnal knowledge of you in my dreams
is an illusion of sleep;
To say that I wanted to talk with you this morning
and did not was depressing;
To say that I know how you feel
was very reassuring;
To say anything at all is not the same as being with you, but,
to say any less would never get me through the day.

December 21, 2010

I have touched and kissed you
and that memory will remain;
I have held you close and
felt the beat of your heart
upon my chest . . .
my arms have wrapped
around you as if to break you in two,

but it was to pull you close . . .

to pull you into me . . .
knowing I would never be enough;
I have touched and kissed you
and more is what we need and want,
we have felt each other's presence
in a sacrificial way, knowing others
must always come first . . .
our symbols of attachment hold
both our contentment and our emptiness . . .
our memories and our desires . . .
we are that which is but can never be,
except momentarily in time, yet,
we are every day together.

December 14, 2010

It is a sense of wholeness

complete and fulfilling;

it is a sense of possession

totally voluntary;

it is a sense of submission

reaching into one’s soul;

reaching into one’s essence,

being, and purpose;

it is sublime and fanciful, but

terrifying with its implications;

it is a balance that energizes

and intensifies us with a need to

belong as completely as one can.

December 1, 2010

Attraction Not So Subtle

your image gently glides into my memory
my eyes focus and softly close on your smile,
desire rests on the fingertips of imagination
lust lingers loosely on the tongue and lips,
kissing away the moment like brushing away
the cobwebs of a lifeless, lonely day . . .
your image reminds me of happiness and the
way it used to be before time had her way with me,
like a wanton homeless whore at the end of the night;
your smile holds me captive,
your bedroom eyes seduce,
a look of sadness betrays me each time you walk away;
I look at you and see no other
wondering why the day has passed away as
quickly as my father’s death and to whom will I send
my R.S.V. P. for missing your “rights of passage;”
if you were to swallow me, I would want more . . .
if I were to drink you in, you would want more . . .
so, here we are . . .
prisoners of the moment and of each other;
time has seduced us both and left in her wake
delicate reminders of how our attraction
was never really meant to work for us.

November 3, 2010

A forest of memories sinks

below my eye’s horizon, making

making a gradual escape into

oblivion as new memories,

older than before,

reshape and strengthen

my tendons of mental desires;

an inquisitive union of aged pleasures,

kept in porcelain bottles with

aged corked stoppers, sits

on a shelf awaiting recall;

a hand writes down what the mind

sees and the eyes blink approvals,

but even though the journey

begins, it never ends . . .

daybreak releases the senses.

April 15, 2012

Number 115 of 168

She wants me but also
wants to attract others;
and, she does this when
I am away - so, what I
should do is give her
all the rope she needs.

October 1995

Number 95 of 170

you have penetrated
my inner self
and I was vulnerable,
thinking I could
not survive without you;
but, your treatment
of me over the years
has made me
strong enough to leave.

November 1995

Number 38 of 90

you may not want
to pretend with me;
you may decide too much
has passed you by;
you may desire
one more game with me before
you put out our fire.

December 1995

Number 2 of 146

I have entered

a new realm

of my existence,

one in which

ambition

has been replaced

by a sense of

self-worth and

one’s best, even

when it is

not enough.

April 1992

Number 98 of 146

hold me close
and touch me

in a way

no woman has
ever done before;
hold me and
never let me go,
no matter
who tempts you,
and I will always
wonder if I

can trust you,
if they do.

April 1996

are we not

satisfied
with who we are or
what we have become;

are we not
willing
to see ourselves as complete,
as nothing left to learn;

are we not
pleased
with the stylish images
of the clothes we wear;

are we not
developing
into the personality, perfectly,
of what we did not want to become?

4-6-12

You seem to be more concerned with

  what you want than what I need;

  You want to belong to everyone and to no one;

  You want to acknowledge your needs and the needs of others,

  before you acknowledge the needs of your lover;

  We will never be solid given these limitations and

  being here can no longer be.

4-6-12

I
We turn hope into despair;
We individualize our partnerships;
We internalize feelings, hiding them from attacks;
We seek refuge and isolation;
We sleep on our words to defuse and delay the inevitable;
We narrow our selection until
we become lost in a stormy sea of conflict.

II

Despair climbs into its vacant carriage;
Sacred songs are sung to both of us;
Surreal forces of nature are joined together
in our attitude toward individual attitudes while
our separateness surveys our similarities.



III
Locked away in a family hope chest with
all the other discarded dreams, a distilled hope
exists in an implosion of light and sound.

June 1986

My feelings race up and down

The spectrum of good to bad

As my bi-polar conditioning

Manifests itself worse in my mind

Than the chemo treatments I receive.

February 9, 2011

along a narrow path you walk,
leaving behind the memories
you tried so hard to find;
a look behind and you begin to question,
having second thoughts,
starting to find fault with your decisions;
and, the trees loom overhead
becoming your judge and jury,
but without advice you continue;
slower than before,
more cautious,
perhaps less confident;
and, you breathe in the morning’s coldness
burning its way down into you as
it cleanses your thoughts and deeds

you have yet to perform;

on the wristwatch carried, your hands
appear detached, roaming the dial for solutions,
allowing life to become more serious
than it really is or needs to be, until
your head screams out to stop, and all
changes you make are not without guilt.

February 5, 1987

Who lives inside you?

What lives inside you

that causes you to do

and say what you do

without the slightest regard

for how that feels on those

who receive your attention?

February 14, 2011

we live on opposite

shores of reality,

meeting in the

middle to offer

our opinions,

leaving future meetings

to the directions

of the currents

of the prevailing winds.

May 5, 1987

on our mind

is the uncertainty

of death and what

lies beyond, not

how we treat each

other today.

June 2, 2011

As any photographer would attest,

the spoke of a wheel cast interesting

subtleties on the ground,

contrasting angles and

amusing wonderments of sight if,

taken right as the light enters in; but,

wheels on a chair do not cast the same illusion,

and we think, “why not I today or tomorrow maybe;”

yet, our time begins around the corner,

out of sight for now and not always there.

November 1986

her eyes fastened onto

mine as she looked

me over and I her;

neither wanted to turn

away or become involved;

we reached for ways

to lessen the mutual

attraction and found a

bewitching magnetism

pulling us towards an

emotional waterfall;

left standing, I watched

her walk away, out of

my life and my dream

always ends the same.

1-3-87