Quiet Desperation Series #22

 

 

You have only yourself to blame

With your trashy comments and claims
About what I may or may not do;
But, honey, I will tell you this…
If any of it does come true
It will only happen because of you
As I have no dog in this shitty race.

4-3-13

Quiet Desperation Series #21

 

In quiet desperation

I long

For you to return to me

As you once were

And I too were there

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And we danced

Like two fools silly in love

Without shame

Without regret

Without the thoughts of others

Hanging over our heads…

And without

Comments made out of anger,

Frustration or

Jealousy;

Accepting indiscretions

As if

They were weekend holidays

Supplementing

The natural order without

Replacing,

But,

It was not to be…

4-3-13

Quiet Desperation Series #20

Our bodies,

Not looking like they did before,

Touch…

Intertwine actually,

Push together,

Closer still,

Until my manhood

Enters…

And we grow comfortably still,

Enjoying the moment,

The brief connection;

Without warning,

Spurts of success

Erupt into orgasms

But we can only lay together

A few minutes more

Before our closeness…

Wears thin.

4-3-13

Quiet Desperation Series #19

In a narrow bedroom

Off a narrow hallway,

We narrowly escape

Making love again

As the pills of potency

Fail to create the

Right moment

That we both claimed

We wanted to have;

So, about our business

We go, never again

Talking about the

Window of opportunity

We narrowly missed-out

On again, like we have done

So many weeks before.

4-3-13

Quiet Desperation Series #18

 

you lay with strangers

Male and female

But not with me…

Treating me as the bitch

Being ignored by her husband;

Yet, he is me as you are he

And we live conspicuously

Free from each other’s touch

And bound by contracts.

4-3-13

Quiet Desperation Series #17

Fingers around my manhood

Do play delicately and carefully

But precisely so to fulfill their mission

Yet these days only so in my fantasies

Which are no longer daydreams but

Illusions of false beliefs and

Commitments that leave me angry.

4-3-13

Quiet Desperation Series #16

 
 

 

 

 

It is not a form of flattery

To look between the legs
Of a married woman to see
If she has shaved her kitty,
But I find myself doing that
Often nowadays because my
Wife of twenty no longer
Bears hers to me as if she were
Some kind of wanton hussy.

4-3-13

Quiet Desperation Series #15

You are willing to have sex

On my schedule but afterwards

You are reluctant to show any

Intimacy towards me at all,

Leaving me to wonder if more

Than your orgasm is being faked.

4-3-13

On Our Anniversay Again

Like husband and wife, we have lived

For two decades it would appear, and

while fifteen have been sanctioned

with crystal, emerald on a platinum

tray is what we really should serve;

yet, those symbols of the years do not

convey the tolerance the years have provided

nor do they convey the turmoil the years

have provided us that we both survived

and grew stronger and closer in the process;

and, who’s to say how it might have been

or could have been, if events did not

flow by us as quickly as they did…  still,

we gave and received love when and as

we could and never once hesitated;  we

may not have turned water into wine,

but we did turn love into loving more

and as we learned how to love gracefully,

we learned and became loving partners

who would have done it again, given the chance.

April 10, 2013

 

Quiet Desperation Series #14

Once you have spread your legs

And we have completed our

Ritualistic weekly bout,
 

You turn your attention to pointing out

All my inappropriate behaviors

As if we were never married lovers,

But adversaries who unfortunately

Live together as roommates.

4-2-13

Quiet Desperation Series #13

We can only

Take for granted

That which we

Do not really

Desire or love.

4-2-13

Quiet Desperation Series #12

What does love mean anyway?

Is it bedroom sex

Or car sex

Or outdoor sex that creates love?

Is it the washing

And the cleaning

And the ironing

And the cooking that shows our love?

Is it the shopping

The spending of money to buy toys

That will soon be ignored that conveys love?

Is it the superficial kisses,

Hugs, and innocent glances,

Or is it the flirting at work

And the occasional affair that tells

Our partner how much we love?

4-2-13

Quiet Desperation Series #11

How do you love someone

Who cannot be loved,

Who refuses to give love

But goes through the pretense,

Feeding off of your love

As if it were an addiction.

4-2-13

Quiet Desperation Series #10

Trapped with the secrecy of love

we are each others fool,

telling romantic stories that

will never be acted out as

as our goal is sex not love.

4-2-13

Quiet Desperation Series #9

we are only as good as our healers,

it is not our fault that we live where we do;
but, even here where there is plenty
the cost is only for a few;

and, the rest of us must live on the edge
waiting for the trees to bear fruit
as other dream of it all and
a few take their own lives.

4-1-13

Quiet Desperation Series #8

with our noses proud and high,

we take in the rain as if it

were all meant for us somehow,

and all those who live around us,

are welcome to all that may

dribble from our snouts.

4-1-13

Quiet Desperation Series #7

 

no tomorrow arrives

the way we live today,

taking what we want from others

always forgetting to pay,

living for the end while

no beginning is perceived,

and loving just enough

to take advantage of the weak.

4-1-13

Quiet Desperation Series #6

We are alone in our house

We are alone in our bed

We are alone when together

We are alone when talking

We are typical of couples

who don’t belong but who

marry for attraction of sex

and the overwhelming desire

to never be alone again.

4-1-13

Quiet Desperation Series #5

we owe each other

nothing, living

together but separately

as if brother and sister

we were roommates

trying to get the other

one to do it all.

 

4-1-13

Quiet Desperation Series #4

our value to one another

is not the love we have

reserved for a later time,

but the willingness to

participate in the final scene.

 

4-1-13

 

Quiet Desperation Series #3

the paths of time

appear as

needle tracks

on my soul

and the poison

has already done

its damage

as through withdrawals

I remember

the high.

4-1-13

Quiet Desperation Series #2

Love seems to be best
served to the young
since seniors know
all the tricks and can
no longer be fooled.

30Mar13

Quiet Desperation Series #1

inside separate thoughts of
fantasies and fetishes dwell
like couples do once too familiar,
hoping for the right exposure,

posturing for a photograph;
"home sweet home" on the Welcome mat
a precarious mixture of sweet
and sour like Oriental cuisine
without chopsticks or wonton soup,
but with all the spices for indigestion;
quite comfortably we sit in separate
seats on separate sides of the room,
never exposing thoughts or feelings
unless point a skinny finger as if
ridicule will survive contempt;
we collect evidence as low rent cops
from conjecture and speculation
completing detrimental profiles fri
which we base our marital actions
and rationalize our willingness to remain.

30Mar13

there is no one
in this house today,
no one at all,
there was no one
home yesterday
or the day before,
and I do not know
when they will return
and yes,
they have left me in charge
but I have
no authority by which
to make a decision
until they return.

December 1999

can I live a simple life

like I've been doing

and be satisfied with

who I am and have a

wife who accepts me

for who I am as well,

or is is impossible

to have both these days.

December 1999

I am no fountain of knowledge,
just someone needing to get
across a few little point and
choose to do so in a classroom
of ears that are too full of wax.

January 2003

come down to my level
if you want to understand
what my life might be like
and before you begin to
criticize me for not being you.

January 2003

I have no reason
to sleep with you,

but,
sleep with you
is what I want to do;
still,
there are so many
who must be informed
like spouses
and children,
friends

and relatives,

what if,
someone gets angry
and sues...
do we now have
reasons not to?

31Mar13

I am no my

brother's keeper

nor my own,

yet here we are

waiting for the sun

as if someone

had pried open

our minds and

is directing

our salvation

as if we were

already dead.

30Mar13

all my memories
hang like dead bodies
in a revolutionary
courtyard of regret;
all my memories
follow me around
like cats wanting treats
becoming over-weight;
all my memories
not yet resurrected
dangle like clothes
waiting to be worn again.

29Mar13