she visits me often

in my cave of despair;

a spirit with big memories,

bigger than the soft breasts

that put me here originally;

she visits me often,

taunting me with her

invisible charms but

in so doing, I have

learned to fall asleep.

 

25May13

I am repackaged in

the light of sin but

only after hope has

fallen through the cracks

of a well preserved body.

25May13

there is a serenity and balance

that lives with the time span of years;

yet, there is always opportunity doors

that open quite unexpectedly,

creating a cool breeze of turmoil to

reheat one's forgotten unhappiness.

 

25May13

my thoughts are
more aligned with
another than they
are with you, so
please be patient
as I decide with
whom I want to be.

25May13

She asks him how she looks,

knowing his response is

preparing her for another man.

25May13

Beyond the truth... 

there is more truth,

and beyond that truth...

there is more truth,

until the entire universe

is filled with the truth

of each and every soul...

February 2007

 

I would like to be rich and not

 

have to toil in the white man's

 

burdens of supremacy, but

 

that can only befall those

 

who are held captive.

 

 

February 2007

 

When do we see our fortune?

When does the pain stop?

When are our eyes free

from the madness we see?

When do we replace our tears

with laughter and joy?

WHEN?

When?

when...?

February 2007

there is a movement underway

inside my mind and I am not sure

from whence it came, but it is now

more powerful that what it has

replaced, and I see myself anew;

not in the frenzy of the moment

but in the calmness of death.

February 2007

my friends are few and far between and
I am not sure why other than maybe it is
what has always been intended for me
so that I have no replacements once dead.

February 2007

inside your weaknesses are the strengths
that keep your going for another quarter,
until your find the strengths that were
there all along but no so easily seen.

February 2007

how brightly burns dawn's reality,

when life raises its ugly head

like a Hobbit's dragon and our

connections found, now forsaken;

destiny's child favored, now abandoned,

disappearing light leaving no trail

for an only child to follow and

brightly burning stars on cloudy nights

brings the rains instead, sowing seeds of doubt

that cannot flourish in barren soils;

the voices of our fathers talk only to each other

as Dutch uncles give more than advice

and the monotonous, pounding rain

washes away hope's future...

the quicksand of foreign lands

oftentimes swallows her visitors.

 

19May13

She comes to me in the night
after I am asleep,
full of tiredness herself,
after a long day
and lays down beside me...
after she has washed off her face
and curls up around me;
I feel her warmth and softness
and reaching around to touch her
let her know I am reassured she is home;
soon she is asleep and we reverse
when I sense her rhythms have changed
and it is I who is curled around her
and it is I who lays his head against her back,
reaching our around her,
cupping her breasts as best as I can
every so gently and we
sleep in this position until
the clock's alarm breaks us apart.

Jun 1999

I can only begin
to wonder what

is going through
your head or
through mine
for that matter,
because,
we seem to be
playing a game
that hurts us both
while saying we
want a lifetime
of what is happening...
so,
who are we fooling?

July 1999


          

Please me today

 

because tomorrow

 

may not be what

 

we expected

 

yesterday...

 

July 1999

my heart and soul
are with you,
wherever you may be;
that is true,
as it should be
and will be;
I am filled with longing and desire,

apprehensions and concerns
from the turmoil
that exists
inside our lives; yet,
there is a love,
so strong and
powerful
that it rules
my heart and soul,
as well as my desires
to always be with you; and if,
you see these
as mere promises that
may or may not be fulfilled, then,
I will exercise patience
until you do.

August 1998

I see you there

behind me

beside me

in front of me,

but never

underneath me

as if to carry me

like I know

Jesus has done

many times

in my life,

especially

during the last

ten years or so...

 

September 1999

Mornings are the best for me,
early to bed,
early to rise,
as I sit with my back
against one window,
looking out another,
imagining what life would be like
if another journey
had been taken;
what I have,
what I don't have,
what I need,
what I don't need,
what I do,

what I shouldn't do...
flows through my head
each morning like turning on
a light switch and then...
these images are gone...  until,
the next day,
or the next day...  forever,
repeating but never moving on;
accepting what is
or is not and
moving ahead to encounter
whatever is next,
without worrying about
which time of the day
is best for me.

September 1999

We have different attitudes
towards life that do not
seem to coincide with
what we were looking for
in a marriage since it
was something neither
one of us could provide.

October 1999

my heart
wants love
as does
everyone,
but it
does not
know where
to look
for it.

October 1999

 
 


insults abound
in our mind,
never spoken,
often thought;
deceit valleys
take us between
mountains
of discontent;
we survive
mentally
because...
we are...
who we
have become...


5May13

worry beads hand loosely

in our hands,

reciting phrases

of our faith over and over,

wishing secretly

they were our words and

not borrowed from

a false believer.

 

5May13

Each morning brings me closer to death
and closer to the promise that someone
is watching over my here and now;
each morning pulls on my heart
creating the balance I need
to drink in waters of life;
each morning offers
a new view of an
old variation
of death.

5May13

rain obscures the hope of sunshine
today, forcing us to remember the
floods where so many lost their lives,
holding their breaths as they swam for
the safety and security of higher ground;
rain brings with it no only destruction,
but the rebirth of forgiveness as
soggy memories are captured on
damaged photographs, and we
attempt to replant prosperity and
frame the future in opium dens of
forgetfulness and nothingness...

5May13

youth preserves itself by
copying the habits of the old;
living on the fault line of opportunity
and expecting they are owed
something in return for their birth;
youth climbs the mountain
of mediocrity slowly by steadily
as they profess false laments
that their time will never come;
youth bargains with the devil
regularly in a vain attempt at hoping
both prayers have been answered.

5May13

numbness awakens

silent shifts increase

daylight diminishes

birds of prey tear away flesh

quiet refuge leaves

us wondering if

life is that precious and

sleep that comforting.

 

5May13

Outside in

Inside out
Tricks played by the eyes
Seeing not what is
But what could be
And wishing
It would be one way
Or the other
Yet, it is both
And we
Cannot imagine
Its origins
Or its
Endings
While
Outside in
Inside out
It will
Always be.

8Apri13

A city once lived where

These photos are today and

In our minds we cannot

Have both as they have become

A salvageable reunion of life;

Who we are will always remain

In the imagination of the artist

As life is brought from the past

And allowed to be appreciated since

Memories cannot hold it all.

8Apr13

Quiet Desperation Series #25

 

When you walk into

My bedroom,

Make sure your feet are clean,

As there are new linens

And they must

Last all week,

Including

No soiling from sex.

4-3-13

Quiet Desperation Series #24

Hope fall through the cracks
Like the love we pretend to have,
Leaving a clean floor but
A soulless love affair.

4-3-13             


 

Quiet Desperation Series #23

 

Open and honest we

Have not become,

Hiding feelings and fears

As though

We were strangers at a bar

Wanting only a

One-night stand and

A place to sleep.

4-3-13