Monthly Treatments

tingling glides to the skin's surface
restless legs begin to move
involuntarily...  eerie at best...
motives cloud my judgement,
only revelation verses heard,
mammoth fears swell inside
needles deliver toxins to the soul,
life changed years ago and my
body has paid the price for it.
dangling tubes from my port
lay against my body
following bubbles slowly sliding
down its translucent length.
following procedures not set
down in stone, are the nurses by
my side, offering appeals that
no one ever receives...  what it
means or doesn't mean leaves
more for the imagination,
my master quotes a figure
insurance companies whine
somewhere in between...
a notable serenity bound by
confidentialities suited only for
solicitor's ears since they are
all quite larger...  penguin
analysis is all fair game and I 
stroll down the mental alleyway
looking for the clothes of my
successor whose name will not
appear until my is completely gone.

July 25, 2025

Sunroom Dilemma

windows closed - shades drawn
summer sun obscured,
fans blow wavy air
vertical and horizontally,
cat tree occupants on top
surveying all they can see
cleaning their bodies constantly
because of the humidity.
wicker furniture lines the walls
cushions still firm from
constant lack of visitors...
time and temperature hangs
on the wall like a corner web
from a spider's sleepless night,
rugs provide insulation from
the hollowness underneath.
heat rises to the vaulted ceiling
maintaining comfortability
sitting in my recliner drinking
vanilla flavored cappuccino.
summers hot - winters cold
a seasonal term of use,
mounting forms of skepticism
just as intriguing today
as they were yesterday when
rains forced closed doors
and the mini split had to be
turned on pre-maturely.

July 24, 2025

Threads of Life

what is seen not understood
what is understood not seen
images retrace their steps
in day care centers where
strangers mold young souls.
books of words read from
front to back offer little
solace to careful thoughts
bending and yielding to the
rules of the powerful and
those who control our lives
until birthdays set us free.
deliberation of sorts is the
framework by which we
guide our journey into
maturity, sealing our fate
along the way with platitudes.
memories rest of the doorsteps
of hope, focusing on truth
not its reality, as day blend
with nights and white hair
is the gift we all receive.
nightmares dictate the end
wisdom fades with entropy
cast iron coffins are the
homes in which life ends.

July 23, 2025

Conveyance

sights and sounds around
taken for granted
given at birth or taken away
no longer means anything,
no past - no future - nothing
have we now or then when
sight or sound is gone...
flagrant violations of life
sacred misgivings alerted
in a postmortem manner.
lights and verse abandoned
aided by a nondescript
picturesque disclosure, sworn
to secrecy by the doctors
who administered the oath,
violated thrice over time,
hearing more than seeing
feeling more than saying
missing since birth...
are we not dismayed by the
prospects of understanding?

July 22, 2025

Designated Drivers

along the mirrored streams 
of consciousness, we
abandon all hopes...
leaving past for future
leaving future for present,
accepting ignorance
over intelligence...
beside the streams of
thoughtfulness lies an
irrelevant desperation
for the truth instead of lies,
all the wandering souls
in search of the same,
escaping death and the
journey to valhalla,
not the game or car 
the warrior's destination.
withing waters of awareness,
we bathe away sins
replenishing that which
gives us life...  a blinding
resurrection accompanied
by a poorly written narrative
of inescapable salvation.

July 21, 2025

Unhinged Fantasy

a firm grasp

these fantasies have

conundrums of a

most peculiar sort,

invading

penetrating

dominating

my mind as if

I was being ravaged

by my own

sexual predilections,

fantasies unfulfilled

doubts held

and lost, desiring

to feel the sensation,

spread apart

my legs become

an automatic gesture

of submission,

to be taken,

controlled,

impregnated by a

stranger's lust,

satisfying

yet nonexistent.

July 20, 2025

Not Our Memories Totally Relived

old memories return when others

fill in the missing gaps,

photos trigger very little,

conversations with elders reveal

the full extent of the recollection,

rambling on like it was yesterday,

vivid images collect internally

processing our thoughts,

releasing the information 

bits and pieces of data

left unwoven inside silos

without a librarian to classify,

categorize and label...

retrieving little with pondering,

writing it down on paper as if

that exercise will ultimately

reveal what is not captured in

our casted mental fishing nets.

perfect memory is never perfect

as it isolated and re-engineers

to suit the scenario and the

limitations of the story we tell

without the slightest hesitation.

July 19, 2025

Wildfire

behind me lives my youth
a carefree innocence
sublime infidelity to that
which my parents wanted,
insisting it was the only
road to take or journey
to follow - being an adult.
crimes committed single 
handedly with friends
looking over my shoulder,
seeing, believing, tasting
freedom possessed...
rats in a maze set free to
explore the boundaries of
space and time, limitlessness
brought from the father and
the sister I never had...
crowns of disappointment
worn in remembrance,
hung on the peg beside the
leading us to our futures,
robbing us pragmatic
undercurrents of doubt,
walking along railroad
tracks in the spring
where the pot grows that
the police burned - sitting
on the roofs of our cars
inhaling the fresh air...
what we paid was priceless
memories saved in lock boxes
burned in california fires,
donated to those who knew
no better than we did what
brought the future home to us.

July 18, 2025

Shadows

shadows cast a long image

dark and ominous like

lightening in the night...

shadows move in the light

what dark cannot conceal,

outlines traced, foreboding

sources circumspect,

travelers reunited before

the shadows reach maturity,

hauntingly similar to dreams

once realized - not seen

not witnessed in perspective

of these shadows here...

this day...  this night...

frighteningly vivid and

elongated but not aligned

with prevailing streetlamps

posted on the corners and

along doubtful intersections

not illuminated at all...

for some reason despite a

plethora of protests all of which

were routed to their respective

solicitor when available...

shadows beget shadows and

light begets people frightened,

no compromise in the dark...

the darkness of night as it

betrays our safety values

not our moral indignations.

safer at home - not out

yet we are here, in these

desperate shadows of fate.

July 17, 2025

Music's Innocence

red clay soil, smokies foothills
boone and company not daniel,
three twenty-one off forty
past the tobacco fields and farms
ramblers galore with banjos
guitars and harpsicords...
bluegrass in the veins not
kentucky bound any longer.
music played from memories
lyrics of lost love written down,
southern boy ventures north
leaves behind his hospitality,
soul and rap filter hateful words
bound for all pale whites and
those uncles who pretend to be,
intermarriage in commercials
depicts the wholesome family,
motown runs on fumes imported
from abroad - helping economies
often forgetting their origins...
peace deals on the table - faked
and full of loopholes, save the
masks we wore for covid on its
five-year anniversary - a time
for celebrating the love of family.
disciples of the cross become its
prisoners as faith wraps it boney
hands around our necks - wishing
for afterlife sooner than later...
music bends the knee to death
death kowtows to the census,
we write songs to express feelings
not really understanding meanings
or the psychology behind it all.

July 16, 2025