Lingering

we all have them
along the way,
doubts that
confuse,
torment,
and tease,
allowing us to
second guess
when we know
first choices
are the best.

23May16

Stroke

half a century
have I been this way
and maybe half
of that will be
done again, despite
what's been told to me
as no fool I am
until it comes to
the gifts women offer,
then there is no
mercy nor forgiveness.

15May16

Bodify

resemblances of better times

around in my mental attics,

left in dark corners to be found

only after relocation removes 

everything, and as we sift though 

our lives,  we hope could return 

while others sit drooling in a chair 

by the bed in which they are to die.

All Alone

all the rounded and pointed pieces of my life,

miraculously fit together like some puzzle

crafted by those who, without expertise,

were responsible for shaping my preconceived ideas

that have often taken me into situations and places

where I needed not to be, but cruised into anyway

in an effort to change mentalities that had become

pointless and futile, but which left lasting memories

and impressions, leaving me little choice...

oftentimes, to the detriment of myself and others

eventually leaving me alone with consequences.

25Apr16

Do Us Part

it is predicable

if not a certainty

that we all die and

depending upon definitions

our deaths

may be real

or just

transitions of sorts

that remove us

from one place

while

dropping us off

at another; and,

with that

comes the unknown...

all our answers

and insights into a

new awareness.

6Apr16

Flowers

grass grows on graves

not flowers

yet,

we leave them

in pots,

on the porch

and replace them

every so often;

still,

we know it means

nothing to them,

but,

has meaning for us

as we are in

a peaceful state.

2Mar16

Before Now

we observe no luxuries
once our final breath of air
escapes our creatively

designed lungs, leaving us

powerless to damage

ourselves further by

living inside decay, where




hope is defined as giving
up on what we have done
here all those years before.

2Mar16

Quaint

boundaries do not
exist within the space
of time or within one's
time in space; yet,
we strongly encourage
these thoughts that take
us into a measurable
unknown as if finding
answers will ease the
burden of existence
so that purpose can be
fulfilled by one's death.

2Mar16

Consequences

values...

ethics...

integrity...

are no more important than

morals...

since, as primal animals

temporarily surviving the odds

of our own destruction;

we claim...

we speculate...

we ponder...

all of which are no more valuable

than the truth we hide from others,

hoping it will soon

become forgotten just as greed

has conquered survival.

2Mar16

Our Struggle

in the valley of my thoughts,
I glide down through
the mist of memories
until the source of discovery
is located and I see...
without question,
what I should have seen
all those years before this moment,
realizing our silence is
no different than natures whose
struggle is actually non existent.

2Mar16

Rumors

slightly forward you lean

so I can slide my hand

up and under

but in a way that cannot

be seen by anyone around

unless they were sharing

rumors of what we have

before in situations with

which we are presented;

and no one...

least of all in their right minds,

would ever deny that these

rumors might be true,

when they have been working

on their own to defend

and explain once they have

returned to their destinations.

15April16

Preparations

weeks of preparation lay at the feet

of the two people who are marrying,

as parents and friends sit in chairs

not as comfortable as living rooms

butt tolerable for the fabulous event;

tears of tenderness trickle down the

cheeks of all the admirers who wish

for the opportunity and the wealth,

but find themselves lacking both

as these festivities roll by flawlessly

and embarkation on some vacation

to some exotic but expensive place

is just a few minutes away and these

two joined souls begin a lifetime of

regretting that they have no regrets

and the rest of us return to that which

we left momentarily to wish well

these two people and their journey

and a life that we will never know

or experience except in Romance

Novels and when invited to events

like this because we are family.

20Apr16

Just Normal Again

a rain filled sky appears outside

my windows and above my head,

as I dwell on the loneliness I feel

for being alive again today as I

did yesterday and the day before

yesterday as best as I can remember;

but, it is no crime to feel this way

nor is it wrong to feel this way

I suppose as it happens to me all

the time of late, yet more recently

than ever before does it arrive in

me just as the morning begins

and not in my sleep as it used to,

entering my dreams and taking

me on journeys never before seen

or experienced and felt as if I had

been awake all the time and was

really enjoying the depression.

20Apr16

Reconditioning

destinations arrive late in

the mind this morning as

decisions about decisions

already made resurface for

a second chance at being

received positively when

they are no better than

before and this second

leaves me wondering why

this was permitted by an

earlier form of imprinting

that allowed reconditioning.

24Apr16

Wind Bending

palm trees bend in the wind as

do the thoughts with which we

sometimes struggle in vain;

and if, we are lucky, we see the

other side more clearly than

before but not clearly enough

to take it is as a course of action,

for fear our wind bending talents

had been manipulated by events

that arrived to swiftly after the

death of all those false ones.

24Apr16

Returning

love dwells on the inside of

our upper thighs when lucky,

but, slowly drifts to other lips

as time drifts up stream and

spawning no longer occurs;

still, we dream a little more

and hope a little more too

that it may return one day,

and maybe sooner than not,

but, return all the same as

we were clearly better off

then we suppose... or not,

remembering that if we were,

we would not be alone now;

and yet, we cannot help it

wondering all the same again,

and believing that if... good,

these feelings might return.

24Apr16

All Happy Now

morning space wasted

evening time as well,

journeys taken outside

return us quickly as

the day passes us by,

but not so slowly as it did

once upon a time, when

we wasted nothing and

was given all the time we needed

as we knew not really

what to do with all of it; but,

were greedily happy for all of it,

saving as much as we could

for another day, not

knowing that using it that

way was not possible...

still, we did not care...

at least, not as much as now,

when not much of it remains.

24Apr16

Dark Coffee

first to awake each morning before

the light of the new day arrives, a

ritual in my mind still exists and is

performed quite authentically as if

it were possessed by demons of the

dark coffee variety as we commence

together to prepare those first few

cups of the day that puts life into

its proper perspective for all of us;

and once the body of the host has

been entered and somewhat violated

by its awakening qualities, a new

perspective arrives as an unintended

consequence of drinking too much.

24Apr16

Tears

tears of the night

drop into the morning

light not yet broken

silence no yet unveiled

but morning here

suspending sleep and

all that indulgences

me into it, is now

forgotten and wait

we do for the light

and the insight

bringing us freshly

unglued thoughts

by which to form

our morning word

waiting is desperate

corners to be seen

or noticed but wishing

to be spoken to.

19May16

Dark Darkness

behold... I see not into the light

but into the dark of the darkness,

wishing it were not so as I did;

fearing my peering will disturb

those that see me not, yet hoping

if they do, I can scurry like a rat

into the holes of dreams from

which I was brought out and

given the courage to do what I do

as long as I can until returned,

I am back into that dream and

the hole plugged as if it had

been sold to some new owners.

19May16

Known or Not

each day but

not at the same time,

I pray to

something or

someone

I do not know,

in the hopes that

my prayers

will be answered

as if

we had been friends

all of my life;

and this is done,

they say,

because it needs

to be done

because

we believe in all

we do not know,

in the hopes that it

will be one day;

and,

that leaves me

wanting more of

whatever it is that I

do not know about

simply because

we believe

it should be done

exactly this way.

19May16

False Perception

love, I fear, is a false perception

of the love we are really supposed

to feel when we say we are in love;

yet, so many of us confuse that love

for a love that revolves around

sex or the love of self or the love

that resides in companionship which

is not the love of which poets write

nor is it the love that young lovers feel

after they spend all night in each others arms;

yet, that love manifests itself differently

as we age and it ages as the two do

do always coincide in their development,

so we are stuck with a false perception

of love that steers us into a grave

thinking we have been love all our lives.

19May16

Trauma Tiles

age bears no witness to youth

young owes nothing to age

we co-exist in mutually exclusive territories

when convenient and reluctantly

notice each other when not;

we sleep in separate corners of the room

in which we might be working

like ceiling tiles or bathroom tiles

waiting to be installed by experts,

knowing there are none on site;

we tolerate nothing outside of

insufferable intimidation, feeling

our way along the trauma tiles

without knowing how we feel

or why or if we even should, yet

here we are and we do feel, but hopefully

not for long and we can return

to our mutual discontent and our

exclusive thoughts that will never

be shared, at least, in our lifetimes.

19May16

Final Payment

instinctively,
you lash out
push away,
those,
you claim to love,
but,

 quietly hope

they will leave

on their own,

leaving you with

the life you

deserve,

and,

no one will

ever hate you

again;

but, that is why

life is so

deceitful.

29Feb16

Lost Beauty

anger grows with age
manifesting itself in an
awareness of lost youth,

and for those who may
be around to experience
and taste this soured fruit,
a time of change looms
just over the rainbows
waiting for the rain.

29Feb16

Done Deal

there are no borders for those
who think life is out-of-control
and pursuits of happiness are
a disguised mechanism that
wealthy uses to get things done,
and, as we fall in line and obey,
we also know that one day, our
world will no longer be the same
as it is today and that the masses
have the power over all of those
who have previously paid the bills.

29Feb16

The Current One

in the bed you lie
past day light,
resting your mind for all
those nasty words
you will soon say,

because you no longer
have the need
to be nice to me;
and, for long periods
of time with each
other have lived,
waiting for the day
when the door will open
and a new one will
take you place,
and the madness will
start all over again,
which is why I've
been given a nice
discount on beds.

29Feb16

Under the Influence

we speak ill of everyone,

so why not of the dead,

who rest in metal coffins

in the ground, decaying

gradually over time, as

State laws now require;

and, we can comment

negatively on what they

have done as no longer

can they say those cruel

things that were always

on their minds and had

such a desperate need to

share with some of us,

when living under their

protection and controls.

29Feb16

Routines

we are no more
creatures of habit
than we are
creatures of the wild,
building up routines
to hide our despair
that happiness is
more allusive that we
first found her to be
and now she has
taken everything.
moved out-of-town,
leaving no forwarding address,
or calling card, so,
we simply do what we
always have done.

24Feb16

Premises

we appear to be
what we are not,
hoping something
good will come
of it...   and,

when it does not,
we rationalize
the outcomes,
admitting their
premise must have
been flawed from
the very beginning.

24Feb16