Not Expected

on this couch I sit and ponder
trying to understand and grasp
the reason(s) for your love...
a love that knows no bounds,
no limits, and has no restrictions
on what is said or done...  loving
you was easy - easier than one
might have first imagined and
while that love has surpassed
three decades, neither one of us
can imagine why...  from two
different worlds we are, two
different cultures and families
that raised us differently as
we were exposed to all that 
the other was not...  and the
words between us cannot begin
to describe that misunderstanding,
that difference of opinion and
how we interpreted the results,
kindness beget anger and anger
beget mistrust and mistrust had
us at each other's throats wondering
why we married in the first place,
it was mystifying and confusing,
convincing ourselves a mistake
had been made and needed to be
corrected...  and yet, nothing...
there was nothing happening...
we simply went to bed and woke
up to a new day and to a new
type of beginning with different
results that brought us together.

April 12, 2024

Watching the Watcher

I saw you in the shadows from the shadows
night before the night before when you when
you were following the one following you,
and in the moonlight, your eyes glistened
light bounced into the darkness around you
and died an inconsequential death as it
wrapped itself around the wall of the alcove
in which you were standing...  and I, across
the way in another alcove watching another
day being given birth...  a hollow victory for
those who love the night and it absences...
clarity of the moment entered our minds as
we shared each other's trauma and the failure
our exposure gave the other side...  we were
like two peas in a pod, and the pod hanging
on Apa branch that broke loose from the tree,
had fallen to the ground, cracked open the
pod, allowing the peas to escape...  one 
rolled to the left the other to the right and
the third one managed to remain steady,
and when the evening exposed itself to 
the morning sun, we were nowhere to be
seen and no one knew that we had been
there except the dust we left on our collars.

April 12, 2024

Fallen

we dance inside the mind when 
confident of the outcome,
parading our posturing in front
of those who would be amazed,
silencing our critics and putting
to bed any fears of not being up
to the task at hand...  but, what
do we do when we fail and that
failure is monumental and beyond
any comprehension of the possible
upside to the situation...  our heads
are hung in disgraces and darts
thrown at our photos hanging in
the bathrooms of places visited;
we are a disgrace...  an outcast...
someone to be avoided, ignored,
and not talked to...  let alone be
invited to a company brunch...
yet, those are the same once
praised and admired, whose
names are give to our children,
and profile studied in an effort
to be and become more like them,
how far have we fallen and how
much disgrace can we bear and
how often to we long for the end.

April 10, 2024

Life Above Ground

we live inside the conspicuous confusion
of a preconceived reality passed down to
us by those no longer in touch with the
nature of the human condition...   we are
a species that survives by killing others,
taking what they have, and making it
better according to our standards of life,
we steal, cheat, and lie because it allows
us to feel superior over those who don't
share our same values - values that are
now grossly out-of-date, no longer in a
position to serve our unnatural greed...
life is death and death is live and the
church leaders know the difference or
so they proclaim...  no longer do we
believe or want to believe even though
there are some who are self-aware...
we live inside the failures of our self-
justifications believing or wanting to
believe, we are justified with our false
actions since there is no competition.

April 10, 2024

Our House

light flows in through the windows
pushing out the darkness of night,
corners of each room protect and
the walls separate reality from the
illusions around which we live...
floors slide from one room to the
other when walking and we hold
onto to furniture to maintain our
balance....  gas stoves cook the
air we breathe, cut into pieces,
put into pans and refrigerated...
cats guard the perimeter while
awake spending most of the day
sleeping on heating pads...  we
hold up our legs as the cleaning
robot passes underneath enen
though it seldom returns to its
charging station without help...
rugs covers our mistakes and 
are cleaned regularly to prevent
confusion but we are resolute in
the residence that we still own.

April 10, 2024

The City's Finest

a trained eye sees the many faces
an artist's hands paints a royal sky,
the illuminati steals the headlines,
the pope decline communion to a
dysfunctional  cardinal's ex-wife,
Berlin tears down its barrier walls
while their enemies send spies and
the world of justification has just
about blown a fuse over abortion;
politicians and criminals share the
same lawyers and party at the same
clubs in new york city and paris
while the billionaires fly spaceships
into the atmosphere because it is
the next best thing to being there,
hookers sit in fancy restaurants
waiting for the weather to change
watching a line union workers
forming in front of the mayor's
lemonade stand with discount
coupons received from the hookers
who had sent them all invitations.

April 7, 2024

Courage

courage sits on the nightstand beside the
bed in which we sleep at night so it can
be used by the heroes of our imagination,
a tribute to our nocturnal dreams that 
start during the day as they interpret our
true intentions with how we live our lives;
it is a generous attempt at the salvation
we perceive is due but never arrives...
we fight the demons of our illusions,
defending our actions by the donations
we make to our favorite charities...
courage sits on the nightstand waiting
for its opportunity to be retrieved  for
some nefarious process in which the
bold and the brave converge, shake
hands and part company as friends...
courage sits on the nightstand with the
nose spray and anti-acid tablets neither
of which are seldom used since the
case was made for sleeping pills to 
supreme justices, all of whom concurred
with the logic of the nightly intake.

April 7, 2024

Fishing Dreams

a quiet fog lays on the ground
hiding the tree where, as a boy,
I leaned against while fishing.
it was a large gentle tree with
soft bark, many limbs with a
preponderance of large leaves,
offering shade on those days
that the sun rose hot and rose
early giving us all the time in
the world to imagine being in
head boat on the outer banks
reeling in the blues as they
swam in schools even though
there was no school for us...
living in past memories,
living in caged dreams,
and remembering...
older and wiser we claim to be
or so we tell ourselves,
convince ourselves of stories
some of which never happened,
none ever remembered correctly,
but we were boys then and
thoughts rocked our minds
and our imaginations...
now we remember what we can
creating the dreams never had.

April 6, 2024

The Lies of Memories

bundled up and discarded like

Moses in the basket, a series

of encounters slow down the

process of identification...

worn on the hip like a sword,

cell phones become the only

link between past and present,

the Nile River valley, death

valley, the Ohio valley, and

the Tennessee valley are all

pathways from one side to 

the other as so many of us

have crossed through the

valley of shadows and were

allowed to survive...  we cross

over and return, bring with us

the legacy of memories and

all the lies associated with 

them, told by historians who

were paid to write the winner's 

tale, knowing it held nothing

of value is told another way.

April 4, 2024

Nature's Party

the warmth of spring vanishes

like day turning to night

clothes once packed away now

have returned to our closets...

squirrels hide inside the trees

that hide behind each other in

the hopes of maintaining heat,

huddled together, their limbs

poking each other in the sides,

Koi stay on the bottom of the

pond and prowling cats remain

inside...  dogs do not have that

same luxury and are released

after dark without leashes....

firewood cut and stored inside

is now burning again and its

smell filters through the air,

that had just been cleaned...

nature is notorious for changing

her mind once the comfort

settles in a while but those who

have been around the block a

time or two, understand how

much of a bitch she ca be.

April 4, 2024