resting over me,
not exactly apathy but
not really motivated
to much of anything;
there is a marriage
in the balance
but very few feelings
left to save it...
a lifetime of the same,
repressions of feelings
like a time bomb inside,
a path of self-destruction
and my caretakers are
no more interested in me
than in the thousands
for which they care...
a resoluteness hangs
over me, a finality
from which I cannot
seem to break away.
March 1999
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