Contoured Conveyance

We give each other the appearance

of happiness,

but, what we feel inside is not

happiness at all;

we cling to the outer rim of thoughts

when desperate,

While acting ourselves when life seems

to go our way,

and we see no discrepancies at all in

that process,

no matter how futile and ridiculous

it appears to others,

as we see nothing but ourselves in

our mental way,

and perceive that not to be an obstacle

at all anymore.

24Mar16

Lacking

In the middle of it all,

we lay down like sheep,

waiting for the end of it all

that never seems to arrive

as we had hoped for, so,

we expect neighbors

and their neighbors to

help us even more since

we have counted so much

on our lack of faith again.

24Mar16

Custard

Our veins burn with subtle

irritation as the poison

passes through them and

into our bodies to find the

source and eliminate its growth

but all too often it eliminates

that which is good and true

and we pay the price and

become inundated with the

holy rice of illness as if we

were bride and groom and

this had become our vows

and our final marriage as we

join that which always was.

11Mar16

Just Rewards

Amongst us lives the good and in between 

those spaces are the hollow lies of truth,

and all around the two of them is the evil

that so easily submits us into perpetration

and we so easily follow as if dogs on leashes

hoping to be rewarded for our journey and

at our journey's end, but we are instead

caged in the minds of all others who, like us,

did his biding and were rewarded with life.

11Mar16

Falling Into Us

Filled with grey and

streaks of white, it

appears to hover all

around us instead of

floating as one might

have assumed it would;

still, we cannot plan

to consume any of it,

until is leaves our space

and until we know it

to be as true as rain

that seems to follow

us this day since light,

knowing not its purpose

nor its conclusion, we

lift our eyes upwards

watching it fall ever so

lightly right into us.

11Mar16

Evil Unites Us

Across the river Styx

we came in boats

made of the memories of doubts

and with us brought

the hope of desolation

that it might be resolved

by he who

made the river flow strong

that we would strengthen

our resolve and

encourage life to return

to those from whom

it was taken so early on;

but, our passage is corrupted

by rising tides and currents

and our fragile boats

dissolve into time and space

and we sift through the

atmosphere like spirits

who bodies died again

in the river of end times.

11Mar16

This is How

On the wall

photos framed

indicate

memories

of the past

that we

for some reason

want to keep

as if they were

all good,

and the ones

were bad were

forgotten

because they

were not encased

in frames;

and yet, they

live inside us

rotting away at

our souls,

forsaken all,

forever, but

not so easily as

that since they

are us too

and that way

will be always.

11Mar16

Normally

Normally,

it is customary

to give thanks

to those

and for those

who might have

taken part

in our recovery;

but, what if,

they,

who were there,

had done

nothing,

and had been

the reason

for the recovery

in the first place,

then,

there is no

normally.

11Mar16

Our Beast

This beast we call life betrays

and delays all that is holy in

our thoughts and deeds, and

we ride it carelessly whenever

we can hoping the more it is

touched the better are our

chances for us to tame it and

conquer our life within, but

there is nothing without the

beast that is worth living.

11Mar16

Inside

Touch me again where you

are not supposed to touch,

and let me feel the passion

that erupts and runs through

me like electrical current

runs through the house that

hides what we do inside.

8Mar16

Noise

Outside is all the noise

with which we must deal

on a regular basis; but,

inside in a feeling of

surrounding grace and

the love that can only

be given to those who

have no love to give

in return as that love

has been consumed by

the outside noise and

replaced by emptiness.

8Mar16

Beast

It was just a feeling

a desire gone cold,

but a reoccurring one at that

and one that

could not be told to

anyone...

not even to myself,

and I wondered how I would

cope with all the doubt

and uncertainty

and need to explore;

still, no one could be found

or wanted to be found

or perhaps too picky

I was but needed to be

or so I thought a dozen times

or more in the middle of

another sleepless night,

as it raged and rumbled

inside like some

caged beast

that needed something

it did not know itself.

8Mar16

Last Truth

Up and down the halls they run

and from room-to-room

in an effortless quest to find

that which they do not see

but perhaps smell or maybe

it is they they sense something

is somewhere to be found,

neither they,

these thoughts of mine,

nor I know for sure...

all we know is that we must run

back and forth and up and down

and in so doing,

it will be revealed,

but it seems to be that all we

are doing is making ourselves

more tired than when we began

and there is nothing to be found

not today or any day or at any

time during our lifetime, and

no fear is this of mine but

the truth being told at last.

8Mar16

Hopelessness

I think of you often

my lover of whom

I will never meet

and never share

any of my life that

I feel this night or

any other night, as

my fantasies are all

just fantasies and

there is no one with

whom I have touched

or will have been

touched by... and, I

know this to be the

way it will be for me

the rest of my days

and the rest of my

evening and the

rest of my thoughts

will always try to

convince me, I

suppose differently

as it gives me

purpose and a soft

reason to keep on

trying when I

know all is lost.

8Mar16

Intimacy

Within the boundaries of self control

taught at a ever so early age,

we laughingly forsake our teachings

as losing one's control of self

is a pleasure beyond compare,

save that of being with another person,

whether male or female,

as it makes little difference to what

is experienced and shared,

even though others say otherwise,

we that practice know differently,

and we are the ones who are

putting our feelings on the line to

share those bodies of intimacies.

8Mar16

Impulses

We more often than not visit

the shores of our imagination

even when the tide is in as it

has become a place of mutual

salvation and recovery for all

that we have accomplished

during those times when our

dreams were not in control

and we had to act out as a

result of our own impulses

of desires that we had so

long tried to control on our

own without the need for a

sanctuary in which to hide.

8Mar16

Climate

My sun shines just as brightly

during the winter months as

it does during the summer ones

but for some reason I feel more

warmed during the months

that are cold rather than warm,

and I fear my body betrays my

sensibilities these days because

it clearly should be the other

way around since we are living

in a year long desert climate.

8Mar16

Footprints

We follow no other footsteps

into our future, passing over

one obstacle after the other

and once we get to where we

perceive we want to be, a

look back reveals all the steps

that we took in the wrong

direction but that were still

necessary in order to bring

us to where we are today.

8Mar16

Attention

Our attention turns the

pages of the news

and the sponsors pay

handsomely for us

to be as we are,

persuaded, or so

they must believe;

evaluate, we do those

words and all their

implications and

just like our predecessors,

and those before them,

we smile casually,

drink our coffees,

eat our toast and eggs,

and proceed just as all

our attention indicates.

4Mar2016

So Easily

Upon the ground

leaves fall willingly

or so it seems,

and we rake up

piles of them

each year, hoping

our fall task is done,

yet, those dead ideas

were the hopes

of all those who

came before

and did as we did

and nothing more,

and still,

the leaves fell

and were raked

as they were

and should not

have been done as

easily as it was.

4Mar2016

Damaged

The early morning hides a

darkness inside my head,

reaching for clarity

each day and finding little;

in and out and back again

like the ocean tide

against the Eastern shore

my thoughts are,

little by little

encroaching inland

if and when

they might be allowed;

the days pass by

mostly unnoticed

sometimes heard but

not response is found

or even recorded

other than the beating

of a heart that

should not be so strong

and a will that

should not be so long

and a mind that

was damaged long ago.

4Mar2016

Agreements

Inside the vast majority of silence

lies the minority of speaking out

the injustice the world must endures

we sleep secure in that knowledge

holding each other whole harmless

in the agreements of our peers and

those who would be our leaders

and those who should be our saints

but more human than anticipated

were they when it came time to

let it all be forgotten once again.

4Mar2016

Two Cents

victims morn the tragedy

the world continues

we lie and cheat and steal

making nothing right

but the process continues

we continue

we strive unknowingly

for goodness

yet the evil continues

along with the day

and we see it

for all it is worth

and would rather return

a pop bottle for two cents.

4Mar2016

Birthrights

Our world delivers

our small children

to be slaughtered

at the hands of adults

once disciplined

and taught and standing by,

we do as we always

have done here,

preach our gospels

spread our prayers

around this wasteland,

our home

away from home,

hoping for discovery

and recovery of

all our sins and

nothing ever changes

not even the

sin of goodness

can be forgiven here.

4Mar2016

Life Tree

my crime was
no crime at all
because
it was accomplished
by your thoughts
and not just
my hands,
as you would
want them
to believe,
and so,
I take my own,
and,
you will take
yours and
the knowledge
of our
actions will die
at the foot
to this
Life Tree.

26Jan16

Elimination

life works
best
if and
when
it is
served
cold
like pizza
with
only a
couple
of toppings
like
sausage
and
onions
along with
cheese
and sauce
because
it is
easier
to digest
and
eliminate
the
next day.

26Jan16

Time Lines

drawn in the sand of time

is not the usual straight line

over which I have crossed

many times, but a curved one

indicating that life on the

other side is not all that

different than what we

all thought it might be.

26Jan16

Twisted Twice

free advice flows like
tap water in a coffee
shoppe where flavors
drip and drop into the
nearest Expresso cup like
ripe raisins from a vine,
twisted twice as much
as necessary to extract
the best flavors possible
but never with what is said.

26Jan16

Classical Spirits

reflections in the glass
of yesterday allows me to
see quite clearly the sins
of those who now lay dead
at the feet of my thoughts
that crumbled down around me
because nothing can ever
replace hope in the mind
of those who search for
knowledge and find themselves
in a book of classical spirits.

26Jan16

The Last Straw

a blanket of grace covers
my bed of distrust in
which I lay myself down,
and as my fears abate
something from within
releases me...   and, a new
freedom washes over the
entire history of my thoughts
as a forgetfulness dries
all eyes of doubt, warming
my last breath of life.

26Jan16

A Reluctant Dawn

a dark blue translucent dawn has

become the curtain for the day

and we must await its dawning;

if it were to be sooner than later,

many would be grateful,

but, many would not, I fear;

dawn dickers around too much

with its receding shadows,

even though it will soon have none,

except those created by the sun,

whose path is steady and consistent.

25Jan16