tentatively,
eyes open
head is raised
surroundings surveyed
in own bed
in own house
after midnight...
sleepless and
wide awake,
no sleep in sight
restless with
aimless visions
abandoned dreams
inability to focus...
steroids inside again
preventing sleep
preventing dreams with
loaned out fantasies
stored in the mind's
deep recesses that are
better off forgotten...
reflected darkness from
the outside enters
my eyes pierce its
unusual loneliness
trying to gain my confidence
rumors beget rumors
I forget my past
at least temporarily...
barren thoughts lead to
depression and despair,
I help myself
out of bed so I
can write down these
memories before they
are forgotten forever.
September 23, 2023
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