Cancer Sickness

my heart pounds loudly inside of me
the pressure inside builds...
my eyes water and my stomach feels empty
my knees begin to buckle
my body instinctively bends over,
nausea wretches up from below
burning as it travels - a weakness appears
in my lower extremities as I 
begin to lay down on the porcelain...

my mind voluntarily leaves my body...
I can feel the heart pumping
I can feel my breathing increasing
my skins feels clammy and wet as
sweat pour out of my upper body and
begin to shiver while being over-heated,
my breathing turns shallow and
i turn on my side, laying my head
on the cooled tile - my arm outstretched,
my body arches up like a scared feline
my stomach regurgitates its contents
but nothing appears - my body arches up
farther and farther - harder and harder
my stomach pulls up from within,
 an acidy liquid finally escapes and I
lay down my head out of exhaustion,
my body is covered in sweat like I had
just stopped out of the shower...
the heat has disappeared and all I notice
is a chill from head to toe - too weak to
move - too weak to cover myself...
as my breathing calms so too does the
beating of my heart...  no longer do I
care about anything round me but
I need to get up and dry off and sleep.

February 15, 2024