standing barefoot in my mental desert
I gaze upon the barren environment
and see faces in the sand, reflections
from the sky clouds representing
those who would have me removed
from their lives... those who see me
as a curse, a hindrance to happiness
they have pursued in my absences...
alone and independent, I am forsaken
and abandoned by the false love that
reached out to me pretending she was
my salvation... my answer to a life of
constant failures... a life riddled with
disappointments to both family and
friends with whom bread was broken;
tears roll down sunburned cheeks as
the pain reminds me of the pain that
swarms inside me like angry hornets
looking for an opening from which
to escape their nocturnal nests...
onto my knees I fall, my hands sink
into the hot sand, keeping me from
laying prone on my death bed... the
air is filled with humidity as it enters
my lungs and evaporates...my heart
pounds inside as I look for a way out
of this fantasy nightmare... images of
my past flash by behind my eyes and
I am unable to name anyone... a life
for a life is what they say, but I have
no other life to offer except those who
tend to my failing health... two dead
parents hang around my neck like a
death necklace that teases me with an
opportunity for life and I long for the
end of it all as my final debt payment.
February 21, 2024
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