Reflections: White Scorpion

Why do I feel the way I do . . .
why do you?
Why do we both concern ourselves with love
when we distrust so?
What do we say or think or act
when our feelings are on the line,
and if we search
until hades freezes over,
we may never find it in time?

SO,
we put ourselves in situations
where we are relatively risk free,
receiving temporary attention
to ease the way we feel,
and regardless
of whichever way it goes,
tomorrow is always another day
with another set of chores,
and we bide our time,
as if . . .
waiting for somthing to occur
building fences and walls
to keep everyone else on the outside;
and, for years it is done that way,
easily accepting our time to die,
saying we lived as we wanted to live,
but had no one with whom we could
curl up next to and end the day . . .
resting our head and being tickled
by the little hairs on the chest,
and feeling safe,
secure,
and at ease . .
surrendering ourselves to anything,
more than what we have,
and all the games,
and all the lies,
justified nothing except
what we feared
of the life really lived and
hoping it was all untrue.


January 1997