Ourselves

We live for ourselves...

even in our marriages;

We live on the edge of civility

until something happens

albeit unexpected at times,

appearing united, we live

for each other but when

abated always return...

30Oct13

Until Now

Let us, walk down the hallowed halls
of memory, reliving if you will,
some of those recollections that
have been too distorted to  be
transcribed into our loving words;

Let us, for a moment out of many,
reflect upon those sights and sounds
that guided us and imposed our
wills upon each other's frailties;

Let us, if you don't care to,
listen to the soul's voices that have
guided and misguided us both with
all their solemn testimonies to which
we have never listened until now.

29Oct13

Instinct

the cruelties of life are

delayed and perpetuated

by our carefully selected words

to keep it present but moving;



we de-flesh thoughts like

piranha, hoping to mystify

those closest to us and

confuse those who

would be close since wanting

supersedes having;

the morning after now becomes

the morning before and new

schemes are developed

or refurbished from before

and we react totally upon

instinct just like the

Ninja Warrior.

29Oct13

Hunger

a hunger lives within
me deeply,
a starvation quenched by
fanciful thinking
that leaves me giddy and
rather embarrassed
from all the lustful dreams
I have had
about you and me and that
bedroom...
we never seem to find outside
any of those dreams.

18Oct13

Selfishness

soft swirls of memories
quietly float with the
dark realms of my subconscious,
but vividly remind me of
a time long gone and an
attitude modified by a
selfish approach to desperation.

18Oct13

Riding High

my body embraces its
infusions of toxins as
Zofran neutralizes the
side effects temporarily,
and I ride the high road
hoping to see past dreams
meet me in the corner of
the sky that will eventually
let me sleep forever; but,
for now provides a brief
escape from my reality.

18Oct13

Holiday

Merry Christmas

&

Happy Holidays

Too Easy

how easy it has become

for us to forget what we

have learned and transform

this easily perverted

person, who sets aside

common sense just as

quickly as they ignore the

civil rights of their neighbors.

18Oct13

Promiscuous

promiscuous rain steadily falls,

drops soak into the hard ground,

fertilizing the seeds and roots that

have been laying there waiting;

promiscuous rain, like shedding tears, falls

down from the skies blurring mother earth's mascara,

as if to say our love affair must finally end;

promiscuous rain penetrates our

senses with sights and sounds that

keep us in bed, curled up like children

hoping the depression will soon end;

promiscuous rains assaults us like

some alien force of nature sent from

above to drown all our sorrows, but a 

few escape the water logging process;

promiscuous rains draws lovers together

keeps enemies apart

provides respite for some

and heat for others as it lasts

only a few hours or days;

promiscuous rain builds character

yet some lose their way, but,

in the end we all,

not just the weathermen,

have something clever to say.

17Oct13

Games

sideways flowing are the tears

we feel when lying on our backs

as if knowing less is more or less

the game we have to play each

evening as city slickers announce

daily heartbreaks of turmoil that

typically spreads from home-to-home

as we embark on eating our instant meals

and fight our instant fights, always

ending up alone and self-reflecting.

16Oct13

Why Bother?

within the limitations of intolerance,
we find ourselves in constant isolation,

limiting our circle of friends to those

with whom we have nothing in common,

and nothing is ever forgotten, especially

when our attention if diverted to listen

to those who have no opinions at all.

16Oct13

Thinking Too Much

awkward moments
spent reclining,
toxins racing
through my body,
vacant seats now full,
blankets covering
against the cool, yet,
feels good on my
aged surroundings;
plastic cables attached,

carry clear liquids,
backwash cycles
no present danger;
trickling comments
converse openly with
curious neighbors,
males in a minority, but,
wishful thinking
without speculation
leaves me vulnerable
and a little unfriendly;
sessions slip by silently,
openly hopeful until
my new routine returns
me to this recliner.

16Oct13

Echoes and Rumors

into each other's life we have crept

like the humidity on a hot summer day,

not looking either way before it

crosses the forbidden horizon lines;

into each other's thoughts we have

journeyed like Lewis and Clark,

whose dead remains send us

echoes of rumors forfeited;

into each other's hearts we

burrowed quite slowly but deeply,

leaving marks upon the scars

that somehow made them better;

into each other's arms we danced,

rubbing our bodies too close together,

feeling the surge of passion once

closing us  off from further pursuits;

into each other's bodies our

metaphorical desires penetrated

without hesitation, removing all

doubt of simple, mere coincidence.

16Oct13

Silent Friends

on the ground my feelings lie
as people on them walk with
a careless abandonment  and
each day I scrape up the remains
knowing my work is nearly done;

on the ground my feelings lie
for all to see and piss upon as
they walk by in mocking silence,
no aware we once were friends,
but the past has vanished forever
and what we think we have today
moves by too fragile and fast for
us to spend too much time caring.

16Oct13

Replacement Parts

sighs of disbelief are the
signs we which we look as
unlearning is just as important
as the learning of the new; and,
while we replace the passe
and the cliche as well, we
become birth mothers for our
splendid new creations.

12Oct13

Guilty as Charged

thoughts
down my mind slide
today,
like hands
moving down my
lover's body;

thoughts
form and reform
changing
attitudes
and
perceptions quite
easily like
politicians;

thoughts
drift in and out
of consciousness
as would a
comatose patient
guilty of
drug overdose;

thoughts
dead on arrival
are
recorded anyway
in case a cure
slips though my
lack of awareness.

15Oct13

Retired

Whore'd out, my body

has finally grown tired

of the abuse and torture

through which it has been put,

and longs for the day

of quiet seclusion with all

the other whores who have

by one means or another

acquired the means to retire.

12Oct13

Getting Support

finding common ground is
not that common if we
search for compromises in
places that have never been
visited by our constituents.

12Oct13

Learned Behavior

inside the possibility of doubt,
we find self-reliance but only
with the factual emotions of
what we perceive as truth
even though
that truth is a figment of
distorted memories
on which
we have learned to rely.

12Oct13

Following

sit a while
at this table
with me
and let's
chat...
about the times
we missed
and the
opportunities lost,
because...
we were more
interested
in staying married
than we were
in following
our hearts.

12Oct13

All is Well

the muted, mechanical pumping
of the motor is softly monotonous
and lulls me into a sleep-world of
hidden but forgotten consequences,
through which I have previously passed;
although, unremembered are they all,
and...  while I wrestle with these
illusive specters of my imagination,
I am prematurely awakened by
the claws of awareness that have
scratched open the eyes of my reality.

12Oct13

Choices

life is full of choices,

some good,

some bad,

some mediocre at best;

yet, making choices

is what we do

time and time again;

so why,

pray tell, do we not

spend more time helping

our children make them?

12Oct13

Reluctance

a youthful array of bodies enter
the sanctity of the moment as
preconceived ideas are unleashed,
and predetermined thoughts
temporarily become reality,
until a dusting of knowledge
opens up their playful innocence
like the parting of the Red Sea.

12Oct13

Without

pre-dawn thoughts fall like
raindrops on a desert landscape,
preventing idea exposures
when in reality
the absence of that which is craved
is enough to become
intimate with the feeling.

12Oct13

Nightly Forrays

unmotivated desires

haunt me

each evening

as I lay there dreaming,

imagining

a different life

with different outcomes

and rituals that

cast me in a light

to which

I am

very much

unaccustomed.

11Oct13

Gone Fishing

the world opens up

her legs like whore

to all those who

would ravage her,

male and female alike;

the earth spits out

our seed as wars

cleanse and purge,

generations de-evolve

with technology advances;

the universe watches helplessly

laying around benignly

with legs closed and

the reassurance that our

Omega is in His hands.

10Sept13

Cornered

I have a costumed made
corner desk, sitting
in a corner
of a corner office,
of a cornered building,
of a cornered section
of a cornered town,
located in a cornered State
catacorner to another,
cornered in a country
that sits squarely
in the center
of a world gone mad;
and,
while few share this view,
it is of no consequence
because,  we
have everyone cornered.

10Sept13

Wondering Not

the devil of life watches
over us all, looking for
openings that for some
are so easily found in the
deadly sins numbering seven,
as if they were one for
each day of the week;
wondering not,
the devil does over,
what we as humans do,
perceiving it all silly that
which we consider serious,
hoping no one saw or noticed,
yet oblivious to all like
we were some kind of shadow;
and, an invisible one at that
since we perceive no perceptions
have been made by anyone,
let alone the devil, who,
nowadays walks so
easily by our side.

10Aug13

Your Time

rest recovers demons

from the day before,

nothing is silenced

until the day we die;

over the shoulder,

we look,

if we can and

if we did, would see

time approaching,

gaining on some,

allowing others more,

a few could negotiate,

but none was purchased.

10Aug13

Disposition

recent memories rest reassuringly,
languishing in seldom traveled pathways
while others are rescued prematurely
and repeatedly,
shedding light on guilt and do
ubt during
subconscious revivals;
recent memories distorted,
delegated,
and redistributed
remind us of curious encounters that
spawned good fortune out of innocent strife,
but which at the time,
caused mitigating circumstances
to provide just a simple truth
of our barren environment.


10Sept13

Rationalizing

while cradled in the arms of death,

I peer into the eyes of life as the

one body betrays its universe to me;

like both sides of an argument,

they cloud my judgement,

paralyze my actions and

trample upon my future as if they

were wild horses stampeding a cliff;

without warning, the self-directed me

and all I am and all I know now moves

towards this same virtual, mental cliff

that has no boundaries nor limitations

by which one's purpose can be measured.

6Sept13

Cycles

once again
light
penetrates
the
darkness,
like a knife,
and a
temporary
darkness
covers the world
as others
bury the
light;
and,
in the wake
of each
passing
cycle, we
acknowledge
fear
as well as
pleasure,
hoping
it ends
as
it began,
returning us all
to the
life we
knew
before our
birth.

6Sept13

Clues

the most holy of the unholy
are those who mourn for
the sins of others while
perpetuating a love affair
with their own sins that
live in hypocritical minds
of those following blindly,
living in a protective coffin
whose seals tighten downward
each time another sinner dies.

6Sept13

Life

dispassionate souls
feast upon the
corpses of the living,
commanding forgiveness,
seeking clueless fellowship
from the similar in spirit,
using implants to
broaden their perspectives
on truth,
beauty,
and justice
in the hopes we all
eventually look alike.

6Sept13

Landmarks

A wind blows eternal
past our temporary lives,
not caring which name
is on which building;
yet, some of us attempt
to emulate the wind,
receiving praise briefly,
but future generations
care not as they emulate
the wind as well, replacing
current names with theirs.

4Sep13

Seasons

a dwindling destiny awaits me, caught

in the cross hairs of success while

understanding the wrong direction

leaves fate to work its miracles;

alone, I stand unannounced at the

broken door on my inheritance and

a future that leaves me betrayed

and betrothed  to a false imagination;

summer ends where fall begins to

announce a chilly and cold winter

and when spring finally gives way to rebirth,

many moons will have come and gone;

fires of hate thrive on an unfulfilled world

as scared and faceless inhabitants

turn their cries or sorrow inward, hoping

that no one near them steps out-of-line.

27Aug13

Unanswered Questions

when a young boy I was,
time, it seemed to move slowly,
events, they seemed endlessly drawn out,
memories fell out of mental pockets
from pants being washed in a machine;
when a young man I was,
time sat beside me,
watching and helping me, as if
I were a puppy out for a walk;
when an old man I was,
time laughed at lost innocence,
tearing away at my soul,
looking for unanswered questions
like a judge and jury might from
a poorly acted old Western movie;
when a mature senior I was,
time slipped through my hands
like water and the wind on a
hot and humid summer day,
looking back regretfully as the
storm moved along its way.

24Aug13

Introspection

perched upon the precipice of doubt, my

hawk like eyes scan the horizon, looking for

those who would prey upon my wisdom;

winds of apprehension blow strong

against my mental feathers as I

some of them falling to the ground;

Cherokee recipes of courage lay at my feet,

waiting to be scrolled out and used, but,

are unreadable due to yesterday's rain;

a haunting presence of my ancestors flows

through my veins uncontrollably like chemo

diluting and poisoning my inescapable heritage;

minutes turn to hours, then to weeks, days, and years

while I ponder the inevitable as though it

were a freshly added verse to Revelations;

my long standing fortress begins to crumble

from the unnatural weight of my own thoughts,

and the clearer I see the less I understand;

time seems to heal nothing while providing us

with just enough distance in between to only

allow us to glimpse at fading mental photographs.

27Aug13

ALONE

I sit along the
shores of a coastline,
feeling the salt
in the wind
splash
upon my face,
and,

hesitantly
resist the subtle
temptation
to visit the other side,
knowing...
that if I do,
I will never return,
and never again,
feel
the misty spray
upon my face;
but,
there is a time,
in every life,
when,
these considerations
must be made
since the
humbling experience
defines us
more than who were are
but
who we have become.

27Aug13

Warnings

there is a beacon on the
north shore of every coast
that warns me just in time
of the fates that might befall me,
and every time that I escape
her grasps, no matter how
pretty or alluring she pretends
to be, my destiny is written from
the scars of my upbringing and
my youth taught me apprehension
in lieu of traumatic discipline.

25Aug13

Blowback

through my hair the wind blows
while my eyes squint our the glare
of the rising son and we make
passage on the trades that once
took my family to their destiny...
I would gladly forfeit my own
just to have them back briefly;
but alas, it will never be and I
glare into the turbulence as if
daring it to take me too today.

25Aug13

Shared Dirt

in the end, we all come clean

but until then, our dirt is

shared and mired with the

sweat of those who toil and

those who control the fates,

and neither task is switchable

as a reverse ordering would

plunge of deeper into chaos,

and all our random events

would not longer be predictable.

25Aug13

Was Never

beneath my feet, the
soil of a thousand years
lay hard like clay and
what seeps between the
mud is what courses
through my veins as
I am he that never was
except in desperation.

25Aug13

Vision

I have no vision of
the future, nor do I
have any insights
into my recent past;
like justice, life moves
past all of us blindfolded,
not knowing or caring
who it has stepped upon
or who it has helped.

24Aug13

Subliminal

slowly

d
  e
    s
      c
        e
          n
            d
               i
                 n
                    g

into nothingness

is the path

we must follow,

if,

we are to truly

be born again

into

the waters of

enlightenment.

20Aug13

Gone

time always catches
us sleeping and when
we awake, we are
much older than
the day before
since it seems so
long ago and
no one can explain
adequately
how that happens.

20Aug13

Returning

the fires of a new day

brightly burn

on the horizon,

if you take time to notice

and inhale

its sweet smell

of opportunities...

of hope...

familiar graces

that could be burning

inside you.

19Aug13

Waiting

around each corner

you will find me,

waiting to guide you true,

but, only if you

ask for it,

as no one ever more

will chase you.

19Aug13

Sailing Free

on the leeward side I sit,
faint wind upon my face,
endless water all around,
not knowing safe or sound;


on the leeward side I sit,
making way the water passes
beneath my bare feet as some
sea creatures swim alongside;

on the leeward side I sit,
with the weed of paradise
in my hand and smoked filled
lungs trap it all inside;


on the leeward side I sit,
precious cargo do we carry,
three miles out to play it safe,
overboard we toss, plastic encased;

on the leeward side I sit,
as the mates make ready her
sails and the fresh air consume
and we'll be gone away from here;

on the leeward side I sit,
one final tote and then release,
and back on my feet I stand
for a new home I'm bound;

on the leeward side I sit no longer
and never again a pirate be but
my home...
my lover...
will forever be the sea that has
always taken good care of me.

19Aug13

Together

together, we walk down
the avenue of doubt,
wondering,
who we are and
what we mean to each other;
together, we forge ahead
through uncertain valleys,
knowing not what ahead lies
but forgetting all
that we have left behind.

19Aug13

Victims

surrounded by the light

my dark path take me

into the unknown and

unimaginable as I

live our the reality of my

dreams on paper, stepping

into the minds of the

depraved and sinister,

recording thoughts and deeds

of those who would be master,

finding innocence and

child-like qualities from those

who would be my victims

or my partners in various

so-called crimes of the heart.

19Aug13