All Answers Given

beneath these mental feet that
hold me firmly in time and space,
I see my body below
trembling with desires
to be set free...   but,
from what
and into what,
I wonder...

beneath this mental glass slipper
that sometimes fits
and sometimes not too well,
I see
currents of wisdom floating
through a labyrinth,
bound by the serpent, who,
distorts and diminishes them
for his namesake only,
but, by proxy;


beneath this mental encasement that
houses rhyme nor reason not,
I am plagued
by the sickness of doubt and
the doubt of doubt itself,
but journey forward nonetheless do I,
the flag of blind faith flying high,
and the songs they used to play
float around me like planets
towards the only black hole that
they are allowed to find;

beneath this mental gallery of possibilities
lies the body of multiple universes,
all of which are expanding,
mindlessly and endlessly forward
as if a gigantic "kick the can" game
is being played out...
and to the victor, it would appear,
all answers will be given
all destinies fulfilled
all needs satisfied
all debts paid...  except,
for the ones we owe ourselves.

22Nov14

Free to Choose

what clothes do I wear
now that I am retired,
I wonder...
thinking,
it no longer matters,
if a shirt and tie
or jeans and t-shirt
as I am now free
to choose whatever,
and free to die
whatever reason I see
or so it seems
which is not really
true at all as I must
wear the same clothes
I've always worn or
I would not be me.

22Nov14

The Annointing

legs spread shoulder length apart,
clothed by the swampy mist of a morning sun,
your body, in all its obvious glories,
bends over the edge of a porcelain patio table,
grasping at each of the sides as if to hold on
while spreading your legs even wider...
and then you wait...
for his command...
the words you long to hear...
the words that make you weak and wet...
just before his hand comes down.

22Nov14

Crime Scene

nude paintings hang on the wall
males and females exposed;
satin sheets of various colors
hide the stains upon them;
walls, painted red glossy
attract more than just attention
but have not tales to tell until
lawyers arrive for touch up;
frosted glass prevents foreplay
on either side and hold flakes of dust
never be examined too closely;
a room is not a room until used
is what they tell me...   but, for what
and there is never an answer.

21Nov14

Spring Bugs

a door is opened
on a closet of cold,
temps plunge as
fevers soar  and
a new brand of
winter descends
upon the land of
the brave and free,
much like the bear
seasons felt across
the seas and we
find ourselves happy
because it will kill
all the Spring bugs.

21Nov14

MUSE

who is the
perpetrator
of my
thoughts,
the one
who
turns the
flow on

and off;
that,
which is
seen
never dies,
but
that,
which is
not seen,
lives
in minds
until
birth...
but
neither
actually
survives
because the
thoughts
to grow and
flourish or
become
what they are
destined
to become
never arrives
as there is a
perpetrator
who
gives them life
earlier
so they can
become
more than
they are.

21Novb14

Lazy Days

a rush of geese like remedies
fly over my lazy attitude and
in a moment of desperation,
I shoot them down like hunters,
worried they might be infected
with memories too painful to
recall from my wasted youth,
where silence always lived in
a corner room on the east side
with expressionistic colors of
depression painted abstractly
on the walls of my thoughts,
absorbing light and leaving
hope on the floor with ugly
tan lines...  gasping for air.

19Nov15

Seldom Heard

who is the one
to believe
or understand,
when reality blends
like the wind
through trees and
what we see is
not what we
are experiencing
and what we
experience is
not how we
remember the
events of our
bad days or
good ones either.

18Nov15

Isle of Palms

water inlets backwash
the beach of palms,
creating shallow sounds
in which November children play
alongside Sunday walkers, who,
extend mid week vactions;
tourists and residents

unknown to each
frolic like teenagers,
drinking from
their portable containers,
a low seventies sun scorches
too leathery to be burned;
southern beaches relax
with the early arrival of
as winter fall cold that
too soon will be gone too.

12Nov14

Cats

silently walking

creeping,

silently sitting

gazing,

silently sleeping

breathing,

until something

is desired,

then chaos,

howling

like Siamese

because

they want out

or

they want in

or

they want something

and

without pausing

silently

walk away.

9Nov14

Blurred Vision

crews of memories work silently
on the roads of my imagination as
they deteriorate with age and are
in need of fresh ideas that always
seem so out of reach when searching;
too many words without meanings
have escaped my heart's prison as

the guards relaxed their grips on
the subconscious elevators that
returned them to the top folds of the
mind for quick and early releases;
regrets are overshadowed by life and
breathing as many have died around
me for lesser crimes, and I am left
standing in the deep well of redemption
with no hope or ladder of words nearby;
carpets of stale superficial memories
are the floors on which I walk towards
the future with the understanding that
life was lived as it should have been
and was blessed in part on paper
before it was misplaced somewhere.

8Nov14

Next Time

for every purpose
there is a time or
so it is written, yet,
the way of things
says differently
every so often;
little attention is
paid to its clever
explanations,
and we are left to
ascend or descend
accordingly as if
purpose and time
connect, but in such
rude ways it leaves
us shuddering to
think it could be
otherwise next time.

7Nov14

Words

on paper
the words
go in blue
or black,
it does not
matter but
arranging does
or did when
I believed
in them
and they
in me...
collaborating,
taking
rejection
together.

7Nov14

Too Soon

your head is adorned with a
make shift crown of indifference
purchased at the local five & dime,
but you remove it when
approaching redemption
since you only wear it to seek
out my ungrateful attention.

5Nov14

Lesson No. 1

in the right amounts,
love can be sustaining,
somewhat reward,
incredibly seducing,
but, in larger amounts,
it only serves to
incapacitate the victim,
leaving them in
states of anxiousness
and futile exhilaration.

5Nov15

Seek & Hide

cold fingers reach towards
the warmth of new thoughts,
falling short of expectations,
recycled and renewed,
written on rice paper in the
ancient Chinese tradition,
transformed into provocative
images of tearful regrets
and reluctant submissions that
write the words for which I
have been seeking these years.

5Nov14

Who Indeed

who lives inside

my world with me,

if it is not who

I can see...

if it is not who

I can feel...

if it is not who

I can smell...

unless,

it is she who

gave me life and

the sweet surrender

of death, leading

to my rebirth, but,

not as joyous as

I had imagined.

3Nov14

Escape

layers of invisible deceit
  cover my face as I step
     out from under its control,
        realizing a new life has begun
           for my thoughts and me,
              leaving behind only those
                 who would be Kings, Queens
                     & Princes in their own minds
                         and in their own lands,
                             now forbidden by me to
                                 never in my mind
                                      return...

                                      1Nov14

Winter Walking

the street walks with me
as the wind is funneled
into me and the cold wraps
its arms around me, cracking
my lips will her kisses,
teasing me into a faster pace
in the hope of escaping her;
rain pelts down upon me
sporadically as arms move
front to back as if urging
my will to move faster;
warm sweat slides down
my spine, chilling my
lower back but my shiverless
body continues its pace
and my open mouth pulls
in what little air it can
to keep me moving faster;
past stoic houses I walk
wishing mine was as well
constructed as these and
trees too magnificent to cut
still have their dead leaves
and these asphalt roads that
hold me up never seem to
want to let me go tonight.

1Nov15

When It Was Alive

my instincts that hunted
for weaknesses
in the way we lived,
are waining,
disolving,
becoming neutralized

from age apathy
and the need to
no longer make a point,
take a stand,
wrong a right to a wrong;
why...   and who said
"what are distant streetlamps
under which prostitutes
no longer stand..."
hawking their wears
and uninformed souls
and who cares that
we never met,
never talked
and never decided anything
like we used to,
since it is just a game
that has no winners,
only distant masters.

29Oct14

Self Inflicted Wounds

we have made a fortune,
you and I,
telling lies
about each other
and
even though that dog
don't hunt no more,
we have invested
all the proceeds
from the old
into this new venture,
waiting only
for the right moment,
the spark...
the catalyst...
to catapult
all our lies into truths,
reuniting
family and friends
in one last
celebration...
a memento of sorts
but not a damn legacy.

29Oct14

Redundant

I am the same everyday
no different
nothing changes...
write, I do
but about what
and who reads...
so why,
and I want to change the dull
but it is all the same,
all introspective lies
around which
an illusion
was created,
built in the shallow
muddy creeks
of the mind.

29Oct14

Reinstated

in an eye blink, the
course is clear and
a flight plan filed;
convinced and readied
with a pen in hand,
recording facts not
yet in evidence I am
but none there to present;
and, I should waited for
charges to be dismissed
in order that I might be
reinstated socially again.

27Oct14

Farmer Friendly

no response thoughts
lay like lillipads
doubling everyday
until the pond of
self-incrimination is
completely covered
and my only recourse
is to attack those
who attacked me
in ways
they least expect
that will cultivate
my largest harvest
of harm to date.

27Oct14

On Being Audited

in the midst of being
said and done again,
I find myself in
coiled turmoil over
the death of all my
original ideas that
were sworn to so
much secrecy that
not even myself has
access to what was
lost to the notes where
they might be recreated;

in the midst of being
reprimanded for spending
too much time on that
which was wrong to do,
I find myself locked
in a civil war with then left
side, but cannot ascertain
if North or South;


in the midst of being
in the midst of these two,
I fear for my own sanity
and the opportunity this
provides for outside auditors
to poke around inside me.

25Oct14

Net Fishing

in just a few
quickly passing days,
I will experience
another reminder
that a year
has passed me by,
and my accomplishments
are fewer and father
between than
ever before...

there are no reasons,
no justifications
for my behavior,
save age itself
and the depression
that tends to follow
it in the mind of
those who feel
feel the need to have
accomplished something;

it is always odd how
that idea surfaces
when it is time to
cast one's net
into the sea again.

25Oct14

Sound Sights

sounds of the morning
fall desperately silent
on the cold ground,
disappearing
without a trace
into earth's surface,
providing guidance
for the day to those who
would be close by;


sounds of the morning
persist in my ears like
memories singing and ringing,
vibrations of tones,
remembered all too well
from my distant youth;


sounds of the morning
steal away my apathy

my depression
my reluctance to care
as if this music was
the cure for it all;


sounds of the morning
rain down upon me,
a light punishment for
the man I have become.

25Oct14

Winter is Coming

from the valley to the mountains
from one coast to the next
from both poles, top to bottom
we hear
we absorb
but don't understand the news;
we see destruction
we see violence

we see death and dying
but do not realize that

winter is coming;
just around the corner,
it looms
like a stalker
hidden in the shadows,
an audience
at the theater that just
missed the punchline,
or an investor who trusts
the broker
more than the spouse that
he has followed so long...
winter is coming;
it is a slow movement of cold that
will sweep across the landc,
a slow gradual poison that
will remain
anonymous until the end,
and we,
 who think we see
will remain
unilaterally ignored as well;
those who write our history
and those
who spread the yarns of valor,
the likes of which
will never be seen again or again...
winter is coming
and we are unaware
and unprepared
and will be led like children
(as we are right now)
into years of despair
unable to recount it all
that got us there...   (or here)
but our legacy nonetheless
will be left forever
under the ice and snow of
the winter that is coming.

24Oct14

On Being Removed

around the morning bend of
a thought provoking journey,
is discovered a universe of
opportunity for those who
are curious about the loss for
the words you'll be experiencing;
there will be no need to sift
and sort or imagine as it will
all be done for you as you float
aimlessly in a guilt free sea of
harmony and bliss and ignorance
of all you gave up to get here;
tides of unabridged pleasures
will wash over you, leaving
sensations of constant tingling
and rhythmic seizures to disrupt
the anxieties you brought with you
as your need for control slips away
and your body belongs to me now
as my pleasure is just beginning.

19Oct14

What's Wrong Whid Chu?

above ground days
are best, we
keep telling ourselves
in the hopes of
finding something positive
with everyday life;
but, our approach
is wrong...
life does not make us
happy nor sad,
we do...  and,
simply being alive
does not guarantee
that will happen;
relationships take work,
including those we
need to have for a
quality of life,
we all need, but,
no one knows how
it is done except to
look for the positive,
yet, no one really knows
what that even means.

18Oct14