Nineteen Eighty-Four Series V of XX

The Weather Changes Frequently Here

outside the rain falls quietly
and another day's sun is
quickly changed into a serene
daydream - a lifeless moment
where we can embrace,
forgetting the years that refined
who we are while our distance
was carefully guarded and
the rain brought us together
and the afternoon spent
in each other's arms
betrayed our senses...
we became drops of rain
of weathered memories.

September 26, 1984

Untitled

because I have faith in the words

of our ancestors, I am a farmer...

I trust the teachings of my father

who learned from his father

who worked the earth so it may

feed his family from her soil;

the heavens tell us when to plant and

the earth drinks the water brought to her;

true rows mark the path of the sun

and planting is celebrated when done;

the silent sounds of the earth are read

and we remember our father's words

for the joy of a plentiful harvest;

my village knows me and my toils

and from them I have respect and

my family walks with honor and

know they will be cared for if I die.

September 2, 1984

Untitled
as we toy with each other's affections
we fall prey to endless battles,
struggles of identity...
self-doubts...
self-incrimination...
and the feeling of worthlessness
lay waste to the boundless energy with
which we repel and float in a void of
unrealized expectations and
like a cat perched to pounce,
we announce our indifference
expecting a tolerant understanding
in lieu of a cooperative solution,
never giving up more than is received
yet believing more is
always offered than is returned;
we are nurtured by influences outside
the commitment in our gestures...
in our expressions...
and with our eyes, we follow each other's
reassuring patterns as if to set
free our renegade spirits;
a spiteful renunciation of our trust
that somehow got misplaced...
balancing desires...
internal withdrawals...
we fear only that which we have lost forever
with bleak contradictions of purpose
embody our repressed wills,
forcing us to a compromise neither wants
but accepted to salvage our survival.

September 1, 1984

Untitled

we stand in declining

shadows of each other's

thoughts,

emulating patterns,

and are influenced by

what we cannot share;

we encourage separate growth

separate bedrooms and

separate reinforcement;

a loss of constraint permits

our individual vitality

free to reach out to be molded,

manipulated and mishandled

outside our controlled values,

allowing strangers a rare

opportunity to unlock

our vanity and witness the

humility of buried

self-esteem and pride;

habitually, we demonstrate

a casual complacency

as we verify our partner's

Achilles' heels...

and remove self doubt

and hypocrisy

while illusions of reality

threaten our tame co-existence;

absolutely, we deplete trust

and in disbelief become alarmed

at its withering strength, vowed

as something sacredly special.

August 30, 1984