Lifestyles

boys want to be girls

girls want to be boys

reassignment surgery

easily made available...

boys want to make love to boys

girls want to make love to girls

no surgery required just

a willing participant...

are we experimenting?

do we really feel this way inside?

but this is not a recent journey

and has been written about often;

artists have painted it on canvas

carved it into marble as if it

were no unusual at all...

public displays of sexuality were

all but common for hundreds of years,

it is only in this century that we

questioning its popularity...

is this a way to curb population growth?

not just a fad like bell bottom jeans...

we can wonder...

we can speculate...

it will simply depend on how

the lifestyles extend into our future.

June 23, 2023

Outside My Window

Outside my window

I see rows of trees

some far some near,

a road often used

by those in a hurry,

a front yard with

lots of green grass,

porch steps of concrete

recently made

already cracking 

under the weight of the

recycle container.

a porch with railings

in need of painting

and a swing that has

been there for over

twenty years and not

once has anyone ever

rocked back and forth,

a bird who sits on the

rail each morning with

nothing better to do than

to look inside at me.

June 23, 2023

Past Arrived

around the corner we try to peer

getting a glimpse of our future...

our future appears just as our past

disappears...  no one knows where

it goes or how long it stays there...

all we know is that it is gone and

will never reappear no matter how

bad we wish it to be so...  one of

our moments, it is here and the

next moment it is gone...  but, 

how long is the present do you

wonder?  And, why is the present

so fluid with the future?  the past

is all but gone except for a few

memories and perhaps photos

white present and the future seem

to interchange at will...  not sure

when one begins and the other ends.

June 23, 2023

Doorway

 I sit

in my chair of

loneliness,

wondering,

pondering,

hoping the day

will soon end;

I lay

in my bed of

compassion,

hoping,

pondering,

wondering why I

cannot fall

asleep...

I stand

in my world of

compassion,

believing that

soon enough I

will no longer

be here.

June 22, 2023

Moving Out

a ladder against a porch rail lays

wondering if it is going to be sold or not,

boxes of collectables sit on the side

of the road waiting to be picked up

by those who might be curious...

a bird on a nearby tree limb watches

as people come and go...  some with

smiles and some with frowns as 

they decided whether to make an offer;

two decades and more, they have

lived here, making it their home and

making changes to suit their preferences,

two decades and more, they have cared

for the inside and outside, making sure

it always looked it best...  and now, 

they are leaving, never to return, at least

not in this lifetime they surmise...

a car stops and lowers the window to

take a good long look at the ladder,

shakes his head in disagreement with

the posted price and drives away, not

caring about its history or utility.

June 22, 2023

Her Jeans

the evening sun is all but gone

dissipating is the day's heat

wrinkles of opinions land on

the dark carpet as they fall

from the mind - a daily ritual

brought about by the heat and

the ruined ideas not fully or

faithfully developed...  designer

jeans lay on the bed, waiting for

someone to put them on, taking

on the appearance of impropriety

since they belonged to the wife

of the husband you stole...  using

the heat to your advantage and

plotting just enough to create

reasonable doubt in everyone's 

mind except the one with truth.

June 18, 2023

Dreaners

an atmosphere of discontent

floats between us like the wall

in the interior of a home, with

sheetrock on the studs then

painted with primer underneath

the primary coat of pale pink

that used to represent our passion;

an atmosphere of disrespect is

expressed silently in actions

and movement of the body that

are not as fluid as they once

were due to the distance that

seeped in between us recently;

an atmosphere of stale love 

aguishly lingers in our hearts

replacing the caring of our

feelings that had us wondering

if this was real or just a dream.

June 18, 2023

An Inside Realm

I close my eyes

lean back in my rocker

instantly, I am

transported into darkness

into my imagination

and into that place where

reality does not belong

and I see colors

bright and vivid

yellows, browns, oranges

reds, blues and greens

flirting with me in the

hallways of the mind

where no visitors can

invade or try to be a part

of my thoughts...

thoughts that are here

and gone, instantly...

thoughts that relate only

to my memories,

my understanding and

misunderstandings as if

were anticipating a rapid

sequence of events that

streams in accordance with

with the quickness of ideas.

June 15, 2023

Endings

Life is a constant unfolding of endings

when young we don't think of them

we don't even imagine them other than

our days not lasting long enough when

we are having a good time...  and too

long when we are having a bad time;

as we get older we acknowledge how

time periods are long or short but we

do not think of them as endings, nor do

we relate them to any aspect of our life

that may be on its way to ending soon;

half way through our life, about the age

of fifty years maybe earlier we begin to

be aware of how things end moreso than

than how these same things began...  and,

shortly afterwards, we think of ourselves

as we apply our knowledge, wondering

if we have done all the things that we

wanted to do...  our bucket list increases

as we ponder what we might have wanted

to do and shorter when we think about only

those things that we really have not done.

June 15, 2023

Good Will

life reflects upon itself

we think backwards

wondering if the right

decision had been made,

knowing nothing could

be done if we had...

we tenderize our feelings

with safeguards that

acknowledge all the what

ifs thinking if we ponder

on them nothing bad will

ever happen to us or to 

our family...  we expect

this good will to be the

saving grace that keeps

from harm, not wanting 

to understand anything

differently than we do.

June 15, 2023

A Change of Location

red curtains hang where white ones use to

from hardwood flooring to laminate tiles

around the corner by half a dozen houses

downsizing ain't the way it used to be...

same number of bedrooms and baths

same open floorplan with other spaces

same square footage and parking garage

a little workroom downstairs is all...  but,

the big kicker is that there are no staircases.

with which to deal either up or down...   the

yard will take less than one hour to tend

whereas at least three were required before;

a sunroom replaces a back porch and there

is no front porch of which to speak...  we

never used that space anyway except to clean,

on both side we have neighbors much more

friendly than our others and on either side

of them more neighbors who have already

welcomed us to the neighborhood...  our

cats will be the only ones not excited here.

June 13, 2023

Another Day

another summer day crawls to a close

moving from one place to another will

do that do you in a heartbeat...  I am told;

another humid, summer day without rain

lingers in the valley as long as daylight

allows it to...  what you cannot see...

another day passes and another day of

my life disappears as quickly as it began

some twelve hours ago...  although, I 

am not really keeping track of time...

especially since time has a way of

keeping track of me...  with or without

my knowledge...  it is a rustic way to live,

but a clean way that disturbs no one else

with whom I may come into contact here.

June 13, 2023

Life Light

life lives within the light

light lives within me

one exists not without

the other -  they are

forever paired inside;

origins of the light are

as unknown as origins

of the life...  yet they

both exist in harmony

as one might expect of

twins although twins

they are not and opposites

they will always be...

before the life, the was

light but before the light

there was no life and none

was ever intended as the

legends of them are known.

June 12, 2023

Valley Same

rain came through the valley

last night and this morning,

leaving the ground damp but

not water-logged...  a dry, hot

june has before not been like

this, attributing the change in

climate to the environment and

to those who do not believe

in living a green lifestyle...

is their narrative false?

is their narrative faked?

are we burning up or is this

just a cycle through which

we must pass to find normal?

no one knows for sure, although

many will tell you they know

for sure...  scientists argue and

children play in mud puddles

hoping the day will never end.

June 12, 2023

Momentary

a momentary glimpse

dark, deep fog ensues

then darkness and no more,

eyes open wide but light

does not enter them...

eyelids shut tight from

being too tired... evenings

come and go without 

notice and we blend our

thought together into one

package of doubt that

was never gift wrapped

when delivered...  we

see the end of the tunnel

but light escapes us as our

eyes finally grow familiar

visions to accommodate...

we live in little circles

under a wall of awareness

that finally illuminates the

beginning and the end of

of why we ventured here.

June 10, 2023

Push Pull

in different directions, we go

the ying and the yang of us,

opposites attract and repel,

we are no different with our

personality and beliefs...

the way we were raised does

not help the relationship either,

I push when I should be pulling

and pull when I should be pushing,

rhythms out of sync and never were,

struggling to be heard...  be seen...

be in control of it all...  we wonder

why thirty years has passed, believing

we might have slept through several

years with any realization...  but 

that notion seems preposterous,

just like our longevity...  lasting

longer than it should have and

longer than either of us wanted.

June 10, 2023

The Information Desk

I stand in front of the information desk

staring right through the person who is

sitting in the chair...  wondering why

she has the position she has if she cannot

direct me to the place I need to go...

her smile helps but does not erase her

stupidity or ignorance or her lack of

training being in this high traffic area for

the sole purpose of answering questions;

it boggles the mind so much so, I do not

know what to say to her except thank you 

for your help and move on...  and, as I

walk away from her location, I wonder

how many others she has failed to help

and how much she is being paid for this

service, helping those who have no clue

where to find what they seek...  and then,

it dawns on me that she is a by-product

of this equity hiring concept which seems

to be focused on hiring people who have no

knowledge of that for which they were hired.

June 8, 2023

First Blush

light against dark

shades and contrasts

color over color

juxtaposed angles...

highlights and tints

hues and tones, all

of which create the

perspective for which

one must strive...

drips, drops on floor

depths of field on

the stretched canvas,

brushes in the turpentine

palette knives in trays

waiting to be selected,

unfinished frames lay

against the wall as if

standing in a line of

unemployed workers...

the mind's thoughts

passes its eyes and

converges on the tail

end of the present,

sketching out the first

blush of the imagination.

June 8, 2023

Empty Oblivion

an emptiness flows through my consciousness

from my head down to my toes and back...

along the way encountering little resistance

but on the return organs begin to wonder why...

my eyes see nothing from their hollow sockets

and the tears that I think I shed is just remnants

of the morning shower I took without thinking;

I smile to the maid who has come in to clean

my mind, informing her of the situation to

which to pays no attention, proceeding with

her duties...  long before she leaves the for

the maintenance arrives and proceeds to fix

the plumbing about which I had called several

months earlier...  my thought dry out on the 

clothesline but not as quickly since we are

without the sun...  a momentary lapse in my

judgement that should be rectified once the

the emptiness dissipates into oblivion again.

June 7, 2023

Bigger Not Better

four lanes merge into six or so

cars coming in on both sides,

posted speed limits are irrelevant

and it is to early in the day to die...

four hours away and it all changes

from calm to hectic and from hectic

to faster than flash himself when

not even trying...  it is the ways

of the big city and the impatience

of those around you...  hard to 

believe that Nashville is similar

to New York City, but here I am

in this city less than four hours...

I have no desire to stay longer.

June 7, 2023

Dead Souls

the souls of the dead

peer out from the 

ground on hot days,

they dance around

you as if there is

no tomorrow as

they mock what you

are doing, jealous

they can do no more;

the souls of the dead

slither along the ground

like snakes leaving 

trails of slime...  they

watch and wait for you

to take a break so they

can pounce inside the

hollowness of tiredness,

possessing you as they

have been possessed...

they are mean spirited

and have no guilt left.

June 6, 2023

Lizard Talk

a lizard with a blue stripe

walked by my location today

on his way to his hiding place

behind the newly created

front porch steps...  and,

wondered why I was outside

on such a hot and humid day.

I let him know I was staining

the deck and he asked why.

I told him we were selling the

house and he laughed at me

and my sweaty attitude and

as he scurried away told me

to let the new owners stain the

deck if they have a mind to.

June 6, 2023

Inevitable

we are as safe as we are going to be

during the days of war and the rumors

that are so inevitable...  we see the 

enemy on the other side of the street,

in the shopping malls, at restaurants

and other public places...  it is just a

matter of time before violence erupts

and we are in the middle of a race war;

we feel the enemy behind us when we

are walking, reminding ourselves not

to ever be alone when in the city proper,

we know the enemy is planning and

preparing for war, we just don't know

when or where it will happen...  perhaps,

in one of the larger cities, or perhaps

in a small country town...  or perhaps

a page will be borrowed out of the

terrorist handbook, and the attack will

be a place of maximum exposure...

June 4, 2023

The Morning

the morning eats a hole in my mind

trying to repair last night's damage...

huge chunks of ideologies crashed

down around me as neighbors took

from me what they claimed belonged

to them...  rows and rows of seats were

left unavailable as the crowds of would

be actors stormed off the stage at Cannes

when the movie they did not want to see

was shown over and over again when

the viewing rooms were not being used;

the morning sprinkles on me its sparkles

and the light flashes a rainbow of colors

that have reflected off of me...  I am

just trying to get by, the newspapers

reported when it came time for a quote

and my manager said I was not going

to be available for the rest of the day;

the morning brought with it rain and

depression, followed by lines and lines

of coke provided by the sponsors who

always remain anonymous when it

comes to being associated with this,

or anything else of a negative nature.

June 1, 2023

Confused

the world shivers as it rotates

animals look to the sky for direction

birds flying north turn south as if

confused with their imprinting...

men who wanted to be pregnant

walk around with swollen bellies,

and their females partners wonder

what they did to deserve this...

rivers, creeks, and streams rise

higher than anticipated without

any rain for months and the

local villagers are afraid to venture

outside for fear of what might

happen to them or their children;

cows in the vegetable garden eat

what is grown instead of grass,

and the pigs are at the pond, 

looking for goldfish to catch...

horses lay on the ground as if

trying to give birth while crying

out to anyone who will listen...

the earth shivered as it rotated.

May 31, 2023

What to believe

she dreams of everything

that she has not done in

her brief little life, wondering

if she will complete her

list before she dies...  her

parents remind her that

she is only ten year old

and there are millions of

things she will do during

her lifetime, many of which

are not even on her list now.

she contemplates their words,

reflecting much of her time

on the word millions...  and

while this fascinates her, she

perceives that her parents

have stretched the truth...

now, she does not know what

to believe when they talk to her.

May 31, 2023

A Few Haiku

I

uncertainty lives

inside us all, throughout our

days and nights this time.

II

fear wraps her arms in

a loving gesture only

to find emptiness.

III

a wheel turns clockwise

the universe expands its

awareness again.

IV

strings of time curling

changing realities as

we journey forward.

V

fences separate

good from bad as evil spins

around our children.

May 28, 2023

Fear's Forest

deep inside the forest, green and brown

lives the monster of the moment whose

thoughts bewilder the most experienced

hunter...  arrows pierce the sky and move

right through the holographic trees, never

finding their target, passing through like

the wind...  from one side to the other they

come  like an army of ants marching in

lockstep through the virgin territory as

the universe opens its mind and tears

fall from the heavens...  lightening bursts

forth with its strikes and accusations...

the monster strikes with it moments of

fear...  we are alerted to its behavior and

to its randomness, expecting nothing in

return except your eternal loyalty and 

love that cannot be purchased the local

grocery story like large bag of apples.

May 28, 2023

Less Taken

the road less taken is the road

on which I belong...  I am not

the one who follows the crowd

because it is convenient...  I am

the kind of person who must

see life for himself and become

immersed in its entanglements;

see the dawn for what it is, not

for what it could be or has been,

see life as a formula for living

not as an opportunity to gain as

much as one can before death;

why take the easy way out, when

complicated is more exciting

and challenges not just one's

character but one's intellect;

gain entrance into life by diving

into its soul, wrestling with it

as one might do with an alligator;

birth and death are mutually

exclusive and are not co-dependent

upon one another for survival.

May 27, 2023

Alone

alone in the universe

we are not,

there are creatures

unlike ourselves who

have roamed the skies

before us and see us

as the creatures,

instead of themselves;

alone in the universe

we thought we were

until signs of travelers

became more apparent,

so much so that we

ignored them at first;

alone in the universe

we care not for others

as we see ourselves

as the primary source

of power and cannot

understand how others

might be more powerful.

May 27, 2023