Migration

we all wear today's clothes 

orderig new ones online

for tomorrow...  we all

change clothes daily as the

mood strikes what we wear,

and the music alters our

temperments while we reflect

upon the news in despair;

we wee nothing today nor

did we see anything yesterday

of any great merit and by

design we were silent and

somewhat forlorned, creeping

into place with our neighbors

who typically have very little

to say about anything...  we

dust off our crystal thoughts

that were hanging from the

ceiling, putting them in crates

for the postman who arrives

on our doorstep weekly to

remove the trash from our

minds...  and, for those who

those who cannot afford the

stamps, they hide in the cellars

of those of those who have

homes while the rest of us

migrate like birds, leaving

our baggage behind from one

season to the next...  just as

we have been told to do.

23 November 2021

Changing Environments

a thought floats in

from the outside

on rays of sunshine

since the door

to my mind has been

previously opened

to the morning and

the beginning of a

brand new day;

the thought lays on

the hardwood floor

basking in the sun

as it warms itself

into maturity...

combined with others,

the thought becomes

a phrase, then a

concept that has a

life all of its own,

as it plays and reacts

with others...

already inside me...

no longer alone,

the thought matures

and ages, gradually

assuming the role of

the wise who have taken

shelter inside me for years...

and on the council, it

sits deciding what will

be as the days change in

the surrounding  but

quite natural environment.

23 November 2021

Tomorrow

waiting...  we are

for tomorrow...

today is not enough

only tomorrow...

and when it arrives

it is today...  and,

we wait for

another tomorrow...

tomorrow gives us what

today cannot as

today is just who

we are and not what

we may become...

waiting...  we are

for tomorrow...

and all the promises

that were made

when today failed

to respond...

today casts doubts

on tomorrow...

yet, it is what it is

and provides

what it does

when tomorrow

becomes today

and we continue

waiting for another

tomorrow that we know

will soon arrive.

23 November 2021

Creation Accepted

back and forth

our minds move

into the future

and to the past

return, seeing life

for all that it is,

in this moment...

toss and turn

we do each night

of our ponderings

as we visit and

revisit our memories,

keeping them in

sync with the relevent

aspects of time...

bending over to feel

the wrath of the past

while standing tall,

we embrace for the

unknow coming...

creatures of time

we are and

limited by the

dimensions in which

we live, accepting

the predetermination

of the universe that

we did not create.

22 November 2021

Life's Amputation

moments pass through the

fllters of time, providing us

with the memories we hold

dear as we age...  and while

memories reveal both side

of the recollection, we hold

onto the side that best fits

the story we would like to

remember...  our imagination

fills in the gaps and over time

the story becomes embellished

as the teller becomes emboldened;

we reserve no rights to the

truth or to the reality of the day

as it no longer exists in either

space or time...  and yet,

we are certain it occured...

memories pass through the

filters of time, creating moments

and as they are relived they

are altered to appease the soul

and soften the hurt that results

from its recall...  we are at

our best when we do not

remember exactly that which

took place in the time before we

are here now...  nor do we care

if the accuracy if the memory

reminds us of an amputation of

life that we would like better

if it had remained in the past.

22 November 2021

Turns of Time

a wheel turns and a cart moves

from one point to another and if

necessary its movements can be

retraced...  but when a world

turns it moves itself into a future

that has yet to be seen by all...

forward into time we move and

never backwards to retrace where

we have been, even when we can

no longer remember our past...

the past has disappeared into oblivion

and all that is left are the movements

of the recorded stars and their

relative positions in space...  and all

of this takes place in the time in 

which we all live...  a while turns

and time vanishes from our past

but not from our memores as we

recall certain events and activities

knowing they have been distorted...

and what we think we saw or

remember may not agree with what

others think they saw or remembered,

even though our paths never crossed;

our presence proves our past even

though unclear it may still all be,

as we sort through the days we have

experienced since our first breath

of life...  we see what is in front of us

and touch the wrinkles on our faces

and know that something has changed

even though we remember not what.

22 November 2021

Abandoned

an abandoned father sits

by the fire...  looking into

the flames wondering...

his family gone for good

and he is to blame...  his

actions dictated his course

no looking back did he do

and today...  he wonders if

regret should have been shown;

an abandoned father sits

by the fire...  and as he looks

into the flames of his life

sees a plethora of decisions

that could have been made

differently, but understanding

life as he does, he knows they

were all made that way for a 

reason that was justified;

an abandoned  father sits

by the fire...  alone with his

memories and misgivings,

speculating on his future as

he ponders his past and his

father and his father before 

him as the tradition was

passed down from father to

son and the rules of life seem

no longer to be applicable...

but the fire burns on as it 

always has and always will

and we are warmed by it as

we continue the ways that

lead to our random ponderings.

22 November 2021

Write About It

the day before the day before

was monday...  I believe...  or

was it wednesday...  I cannot

remember exactly...  and, what

does it really matter I tell myself

since I am no longer working...

it is just a day like all others, I

tell myself in a rational kind of

way...  I have no horse in that

race and yet it is about my life,

I am reminded by my wife who

keeps track of all my appointments;

I am at the mercy of the gods

who gave me my imagination and

who breathed life into me so I

could be what they wanted me

to be...  yet, I am unsure what 

that is or was nowadays as I

wander through the remnants of

my life always seeing myself in

a different light than from the

reality of who I really am...

it is the day before the day before

and I cannot remember what I

did...  however, I know I must have

done something or else I would

not be around to write about it,

even thought I cannot remember

why I really really ever want to.

19 November 2021

A Heavy Frost

discovered this morning was

a heavy frost on the ground,

the first of this year, ending

as it began months ago...

herds of thoughts stampede

through my mind this morning

towards the clifss of no return,

reminding of the emptiness

that surrounds my life as I

ponder the futility of all my

remaining years...  and the

collapse of society happening all

around my lucid state-of-mind;

sun bursts through the window

of my front door like a home

invasions, reminding me that

it is not me in control...  as

each day is different from the

one before and the one before

that one as well...  cats on my

lap and cats on the table beside

me and cats drinking water from

a bowl, let me know that they

live here too...   and have a in

what is going to happen to me...

will they live or what, I wonder?

a blue shirt hangs over the chair

that should have been placed on

a hanger in the closet last night,

and as far as I know...  it might

have been there the day before.

19 November 2021

Precursors

a light rain falls gently down...

the ground welcomes its advances,

animals remain sequestered

inside their homes like humans,

the sun unwillingly hides behind

the clouds it allows to occupy

its sky for a while...  treeless leaves

lay in rain puddles...  their curvatures

formed at birth...  a few bales of straw

slow down the erosion in places;

overcast opinions linger on the

horizon of the day mediated  by

reoccuring thoughts of summer that

set records if one were to notice...

a light rain gently falls where none 

existed before...  or the day before

that one, preventing new grasses

from growing strong, yet all received

redemption today as the liquid falls.

spreading itself all around the ground;

pool covers are weighted down by

the rain but not enough to stress their

loads, protecting a vital interest that

will not be used again for six months...

and, in the valley there is concern...

concern that this urination from above

will not be enough to entice the

flowers to return in the spring nor the

tourists to all visit in the summer.

18 November 2021

Fields of Time

except for the turning of pages

there is silence...  as if life

had decided ot to exist for a

while and my thoughts sorted

themselves out in triplicate...

measuring a time reduction on

each one of them as they

descended down through my

my mind into a mental oblivion

referred to as latent memories;

we chase the tails of our

thoughts like crazed animals

hoping to catch that which

is fleeting and non-existent,

except for the time it spends

relocating itself in our all but

secure long term memories;

catering to that which we know

is untrue because it fits our

narrative of who we are or who

we are trying to be...  so we

adjust to life and life adjusts to

us temporarily as it passes

through the fields of time...  a

non-verbal state-of-mind that

exists between the dimensions

of reality through which we

attempt to mavigate successfully

during our brief, limited lifetimes.

18 November 2021

Clouds Without Faces

clouds slowly pass by

faces in them I see

distorted and elongated

they appear...  out of

context they are today

and tomorrow if they

decide to remain...

blue skies aroud me

appear, warmer today

than yesterday and the

trend continues as it

makes light of all my

fall chores...  and when

the wasps awaken

as small as a bee are

whisked away like

mixing flour, water, and

eggs in a sky bowl...

heated over foods

prepared days before

provide the smells of my

appetite that lingers from

one day to the next until

all is eaten and more

preparation is needed...

we sit in chairs on porches

pondering without answers

reflecting without understanding

who's to blame for our aging;

tea leaves cover the bottoms

of our coffee cups...  the truth

is known to all that clouds 

without faces are really seen

as being no clouds at all.

17 November 2021

Always Looking

a point-in-time arrives

without predetermination

when life sees us as their

enemy and retaliates to

remove us from the equation;

we respond in-kind and

the battle begins knowing

we are on the losing side...

life hunts us down and

prosecutes us like criminals;

we remain out-of-pocket

for as long as we can...

emptying the trash at night

instead in the light where

we can be seen by others who

will give up our identity in

a New York minute or two;

a point-in-time arrives when

we are no longer responsible

for ourselves or our actions

and our lives become just a

meaningless joke as we 

lay in our beds dying...

we are without thought

we are without consciousness

we are without a spirit as

it has already left our bodies;

our lives have been neutered

by our life and we remain

hopelessly and helplessly

tied to the past looking to

secure our points-of-origin.

16 November 2021

Mental Exploration

a quiet morning relaxes the

imagination and I am free to

explore the nature of things

that interest me -  the cosmos...

its immense size and star like

qualities of hollywood...

like the particles that are so

tiny we can only imagine

their existence as they collectively

built all of our dimensions...

a relaxing morning fosters

thoughts and develops concepts

that actually become fascinating;

spacetime prevents backwards

travel but not thinking and these

conjectures take me into place

never have I visited before...

mornings are the springboards

of my mental activity that 

enables me to think as I do...

but I am checked at every street

corner by the knowledge I do

not have or possess inside the

chambers of my mind that is not

dissimilar to the chambers of

my heart...  motivating me forward

each and every day...  a cloudless

day always opens it door to me and

to my endless mental explorations.

15 November 2021

Blinding Memories

blinded by the morning light

through the window arriving,

my eyes see inward...  an

introspection of sorts that is

not what it really seems...

blinded by the morning memories

I see clearly when I do not see

at all into the past and reawaken

reoccurances of a time where

no longer I am that which I

used to be, forever changed;

blinded by current sight, I

focus on what is believed

not on what is or could have

been if the days had been

longer or shorter...   and I had 

been a little different than I was;

blinded by the time that has taken

me to get here and without the

clarity I once had, now is it

working against me as an attorney

of record who now can tell me

what it is or what it is not...

blinded by the ageless memories

that haunt me more than they are

able to remind, they now encase

me like loose fitting clothes...

and as the day unfolds the blinding

light is gone as are the reminders

that I am once again free to live

within the day as it really is now.

15 November 2021

An Unknown Understanding

how unknown is the unknown

when today we know that which

we did not know yesterday?

I wonder as you do...  but, not

any longer than I have to...

life sprinkles each day upon us

in the light of our own awareness

which is unknow the day before...

we are constantly struggling to

understand the paradox of it all...

when our lives simply end;

our future is no longer known

or realized as we move into this

new phase of life that is unknown,

not knowing how to adjust or

if we really should...  life becomes

spiritual they say...  those who

have been there and we ride with

uncertainty on those waves of

consciousness...  we understand

not what it is nor do we care what

it is not...  we trust our instincts

to provide all that has been lost,

knowing it remains at the realm

of the unknown...  we prepare

for that which we are unprepared

for with the knowledge we have

yet to acquire...  we are thankful 

for the time we have been given

trying to have an understanding.

14 November 2021

Water Fish

our separate worlds class

we are the unforgiven

sight leaves us wanting

we hide is caves of fantasy

reliving old memories

not realizing life has

moved on beyond us;

the noise of memories plays

loudly in our ears as we

relive the past...  never

wanting the future to catch

with us anymore than

it really has to...  we are

tail-gaters of the past, sitting

in abandoned flatbed trucks in

a graveyqrd of dead thoughts

on which our vision rests;

we are not that old yet but

we are old enough to move on

and embrace the life that

others left behind for us...

hand-me-down clothes that

fit uncomfortably well on our

enlarged bodies...  life prepares

us for death and our future

prepares us to leave the past

behind as it no longer impacts

what we do...  our separate

worlds clash, creating new

dimensions in which we live

like fish in a bowl of water.

14 November 2021

Moements Forward

the lamp of ages spins above

the coffee table like a whirling

Dervish spins around the floor

but the purple white vase is

without location change, remaining

its entire existence in one spot;

mesmerizing and illusive in its

task as it contantly rotates, oblivious

to those who stare with fascination

at its meaningless relentlessness,

who understand not its purpose

nor want to know all those details;

the lamp of ages twirls and twirls

around in an endless journey

of going nowhere in particular

except where it is...  above the table

and just barely as it seems to be

ever so stationary...  its actions

not associated with magnets or

electricity but perpetual motion

as soon as it left the ancient

kiln from when it emerged all

those thousands of years ago...

the lamp of ages guides our path

like a gyroscope...  its inner

workings hidden from our view

but its movements are true and

accurate with the deviations it

allows...  we are in harmony with

life and its movements forward.

9 November 2021

Conclusions

a room full of breathable

air encircles me like a

visible evening darkness

floats around unnoticed;

a room full of furniture

up against the walls is

situated like statues line

the entrance to the Valley

of the Kings and Queens;

a monitor displays the

availability of programs

that can boggle the mind

with their illusions of

reality that flow from one

hour to the next similar to

Salmon moving upstream;

memories are non-existent,

fantasies supercede them all,

a makeshift  imagination

is worn on the face as if it

were some sort of alien

breathing device left behind

from their previous visits;

a room full of ideas stalks

the emptiness of our souls

every morning since birth...

we ignore it all because we

are too lazy not to, plucking

the vision from our eyes

when it fails to support the

conclusions that it needs to.

9 November 2021

Staying Inside

darkness fills the outside

domain of life while light

shines inside from the

power of the source the

day before...  the source

we all take for granted as

simply inconsequentially

just being there...  we

nurture our own awareness

like a cat nurturs its own

instincts and unwillingness

to venture outside when 

it is too cold...  but does

not understand the nature

of those feelings...  believing

instead that its surrounding

darkness is the end for which

it waits or have been waiting;

outside keeps us inside and

inside keeps us safe from

ourselves when we have no 

need or reason not to trust

ourselves...  as we have done

befofre when there was no

darkeness...  only the light

prevailed...  and we wore

blindfolds when needed...

darkness fills our hearts

darkness fills our souls

darkness fills our bodies

but the light inside us all

sets us free...  as long as we

have no desire to go outside.

5 November 2021

Conveniently Controlled

we understant not the

answers we seek but

the answers we don't

seek while we attempt

not to understand the

questions we don't want

to hear...  we live in

fear of the knowledge

we fail to grasp as it

begins to encircle our

lives and we are

conveniently controlled

like farmed Salmon whose

only purpose is to grow

into a certain size...  we

understand not what we

had accepted because it

was the thing to do...

leaving us empty...  in

the knowledge we were

told to believe...  we

cannnot forgive our

knowledge or our ignorance

when we still perceive

ourselves as insightful

victims of our own ignorance

and lazy thoughts...  we 

tend our mental gardens

with Prevegan because we

have been told that farmed

Salmon is not good to eat

with all its unhealthy 

components floating around

inside...  finding ourselves the

last ones to really understand.

5 November 2021

Fuzziness

the fuzzy nature of life

penetrates my vision...

I see what everyone else

cannot see...  not because

they refuse to see but

because they cannot see...

their eyes and personalities

will not let them see...

they are prisoners of a

reality they themselves built

with their egos and thoughts

believing it would benefit

them alone...  when it

benefitted no one at all...

I see what the masses cannot

but do not feel rewarded or

special as it is a burden

from which I cannot escape;

my eyelids close around

false assumptions that

narrow minded intelligence

have made for us...  we have

become mental weapons

whose sole purpose in life

is to blame others who have

not yet become inflicted

with stupid...  we label it all

as white supremacy if it does

not agree with the fuzzy

situation we created here.

5 November 2021

Similar

in separate places we live

but the same time zones

no longer apply...  we are

different but the same,

even our personalities have

changed as we are someone

new, wearing clothes that

are not the same styles and

involved in activities that

are not he same as before...

and what was once a sport

no longer exits here in our

little piece of this universe

that has become a parallel

community of sorts...

blocking out the present

from our past as it seems

a little different than before,

as are we...  changed into

something unusual to look at

and to perceive as we go

about our different lifestyles

with different people too...

and when we look at ourselves

now we see someone else

in our place, who thinks a 

little differently than we used

to think...  and when we get

close to each other, on of us

disappears from view, leaving

only a small residue of the

memory used to get us here.

4 November 2021

Disruptive

oddly enough...   we live our

lives in quiet desperation,

hoping to find salvation with

a refurbished peace-of-mind,

we drive the back roads

to avoid tickets, bagging our

meals so we don't stop for

anything but gasoline...

we pee in empty water bottles

that we toss out the window

when passing open fields and

we eat fast foods in the city;

oddly enough...  our days

always seemed to be numbered

when out-of-pocket as if we

need work and what we cling

to is nothing more than an

global illusion of hunger...

we claim nothing, nor do we

offer anything to that which

we know to be true...  as truth

is always fleeting, just as

reality is always reassuring...

oddly enough...  we drink out

wine at breakfast and never

at llunch and since dinner is

always three courses, water

is the preferred method of

washing it all away so that it

does not remain inside too long.

3 Movermber 2021

Cold

the sun shines down on a 

cold ground as the rain finally

leaves us alone...  temperatures

hover below normal...  winter

clothes are removed from boxes

stored in attics or basements;

fires in fireplaces or higher

settings on furnaces become

the early and unexpected norm,

not usually occuring this early

in the end of the year...  and

as temperatures drop, we

wonder about moving farther

south to capture a sustained

warmth around which we 

would like to spend our years;

the sun shines down on a cold

ground and the frost kills what

little is left on its surfaces...

mowers are drained of gasoline

to protect their seals while

rakes and hand clippers finish

the annual round of trimming,

city trucks carry off the debris

when not patchintg the roads,

when not taking their Federal

holidays...  the sound of work

is silent in the valley...  all of us

are inside the warmth of our

homes including the animals.

3 November 2021

Comforts

frost lays on the ground

this morning...  the

temperatures plummet,

winter replaces fall,

clothes are unpacked early,

a woodstove no longer

provides our warmth or

our means to cook food...

indoor plumbing changed

that years ago and we

became more sophisticated,

cats lay on heated blankets

like dogs laying on wooden

porches in the summer heat,

trying to remember the recent

days when humidity could not

really be avoided...  but, better

than remaining inside...

short lived dreams are the

felinme's specialty as naps

occur throughout the day and

avoiding others is the only way

to prevent trips to the vet...

floor vacuums clean regardless

of the temperatures and hold 

their charges quite well...  it is

a new day in this land of

opportunity that does not change

its course of action just because

it is too cold for our comforts.

2 November 2021

Something Special

eleven years we have

known each other,

going on twelve and

sometimes we are best

friends and sometimes

we are not even close,

but one would think

that by now, he would

have learned to trust

me more...  so, when

he suspects something

is up, he hides or finds

a place from which it is

not easy to retrieve him...

plus, if I make a move

in his direction, he darts

away to a more secure

location...  now that a

recent surgical day has

revealed perhaps he may

have only another year

or so...  perhaps not...

I find myself a little

distraught after hearing

this news and I fear this

time I will not get over

a pet's leaving so quickly,

especially since I am the

only one to which this pet

has been willing to bond.

1 Novermber 2021

A Siamese

on my lap a Siamese sits as his fur

is not enough to warm him up...

he know not the season nor the months

just if it warm or cold... but sometimes,

regardless of the weather, in my lap

he likes to sit...  perhaps, not because

it is so comfortable but because we have

a decade old friendship we share...  and,

from the very beginning of his tenure,

mine was the only face and body he saw

as he hid underneath the furniture...

on my lap a Siamese sits despite the

horrors though which I put him to have

a tumor from his tail removed as well as

some teeth that were no longer sound...

and for two days a bandage around his tail

remained until he pulled it off...  as is the

nature of these species, I am told...

on my lap a Siamese sits and soon he will

stretch out his body as if lying in the sun,

remaining in that position undisturbed by

all the sounds around him that would

have never happened when he was young

and suspicious of everything...  althought,

that suspicion has never really left him,

remaining as a faithful companion when

in the presence of humans who he has

learned not to trust very much...  he

lives within the framework of his own

fears but all I know is that I am and will

always be his loving and caring friend.

1 November 2021