Dancing in your presence

In your presence I stand and
can be whatever you need me to be;
I am your imagination
anytime and anywhere;
I am your fantasy, real or imagined,
I am your seductress,
your mistress,
oftentimes more,
Your companion and friend,
But I will only stand
in your presence
And no other…
In your presence I stand
dancing to all your imagined colors,
fashioning myself to your desires,
but, once in a while,
you will be in my fantasy
doing as I command…

Four Poems from March 2006

I.
Who watches the watchers;
Who combs the hair of the dead;
Who screens all the new babies born,
in case pre-determinations need to be made?
So, what do I care about where
all these questions may be taking you
if I did not think your responses
would not teach me a thing or two?
But, let's suppose for a minute
that our paths were destined to meet,
what then my dear Brutus,
would be point of any pre-conceived thought?
And, when you solve this dilemma for you,
I will have another and another,
and a riddle or two simmering in
my Bitches Brew ---
for it is I who is the pre-conceiver
in all tales of woe,
and it is I who lusts after the lusting
with the innocence of you know who.

II.
The graveyard of my thoughts, rivals Atlantis

I suppose, but,somewhere they must go, as,

inside my head, they cannot stay;

so, draw me a picture of

what you see, and I will bend

the rules and set her free,

and when she flies away

and rejoice we three,

much ado about whatever,

then, another two or three

more are set free;

and, when the war is over

and all the doors have been closed

memories will hang forever fading

inside the closets of the three.

But, then the hand that feeds me

re-directs me at His will and I sometimes

wonder if it is not intentional in order

for all those thoughts to pass through

the hollow walls of my mental prison cell.

III.
Living in a house is not living in a home
feeling lonely is so much better than being alone
Holding on is not the same as being held
keeping secrets doesn't mean you cannot tell
Listening to your head isn't always wise
looking through me would be better -
if you looked into my eyes...
Letters written are often the ones that go unsent
instead of being broken, a rule is better bent
Whispers in the dark are better left unsaid
those thoughts were meant for daylight -
not simply in my bed...
A promise can be broken, love can fade in time
but to build a wall and keep you out
would forever be a crime...

IV.
Do you think about me like I think about you

when we are not together?

Do you see my face like I see your face

when we are with our lovers?

Do you long to touch me like I long to touch you

just before sleep robs us of that sensation?

Do you masturbate like I masturbate and

think that you are by my side?

Do you wish you could kiss me like I wish

I could kiss you when I watch you pass my office?

Are you as frustrated as I am that we met at the

wrong time or perhaps at the right time?

Do you you think about me as much as I think about you?

Waiting

Slivers of quivering sensations slip past sublime
Haunting discoveries of the mind that billow past
The fantasies I had of you, into a current time where
You prance in unexpectedly and flop into a chair,
Announcing your new idea, bending over but ever
So knowingly, cautiously showing me soft, silkiness
Of what all men want to see; but, I just wanted to
See you, be in your presence, so you return upright
To your chair, smiling proudly, but now you are
Really enticing me, even more than imagined before.

So, if this is how you want to play this game then I
Will capture all your actions and my reaction with words
And hold you emotionally hostage to the accusation of
“don’t start anything you don’t want o finish.”

But, this is not what you really want is it…
Say lady say if you will.
I know that you know any swinging dick would promise
You anything for what you entice me with, and that,
Is something that I know that you know that I know
And that is no challenge, not even sporty, is it…
Say lady say if you will.

This is new, somewhat different how:

Without a real struggle, not even a tussle
I have your soul, your essence, inside my thoughts
My feelings, my physical being, and in my eyes
That you stare into whenever you are near
And you see yourself too,
rather amazing, but not surprising
as you knew all along what you were doing
and exactly what you were giving away.

So, here we are, a real oddity but one thing is for sure
That you desire just as badly as I desire you
And all our little delays will not postpone too
Much longer this eventuality, not now will it…
Say lady say if you will.

Blending

Do we dare stop this blending of the minds
That seems to possess us?
Do we shy away from this bonding of the souls
For which we have longed?
Do we continue to contain the burning passion
That hides deep within our loins?
Or, do we carefully, precisely, join our trilogies
In one seductive moment of intellectual orgasm
That we can swallow like some vitamin
To rejuvenate us from within…

Admittedly, across the line we have already stepped,
But good mindedness can prevail if there is just cause,
Yet, I fear mere cause and effect will not extract us
From our holographic seductive inducements
We have already woven around each other.
It is not I who seduced you, nor you who seduced me
But, like a symphony of destiny we seduced each other,
In not so much a desperate way, as it was fate
As though our attraction to each other just had to be…

From A Distance

From a distance, I look into your eyes and
have seen my own fears and insecurities;
robust and youthful you appear to my voyeuristic eyes
but you lack release from the past I have come
to find out from you in our taunting;
we are obligated by our own prisons yet
reach out for understanding and caring, not to
so much settle old scores, but to have a
simple acceptance of who we are and
all our the baggage guilt that we carry around
and have learned to wear so well;

From a distance, I see myself in you and
Wonder why our two souls had to die;
Why our families were so rude and crude
In the way they tried to appreciate us and
In the way they mistreated us because they could.
What’s gone is gone, I find myself wanting to say,
But like you, it haunts me so I miss having
It around and use the longing to frame the portrait
All my ineffectual relationship who missed the clues.

From a distance, I look beyond the garments that
You wear that fit you so well, highlighting your
Appealing nature, imagining the softness underneath
And how electrifying it becomes when aroused that
Is kept out of reach even from those who touch
Due to the enduring qualities of your earlier life;
And, I see that despite our difference in age, you
Are much like me and I much like you and it is
Sad in a way that we share those same recipes.

From a distance, I look into your eyes every time
You pass by where I sit, even though you seldom
Look in my direction to keep the walls of eyes
That surround you constantly from noticing
Any telltale signs that they could pass from
Wall-to-wall, and imagine sharing my dark side
With you as thought you were some kind of
Mistress of that side of the dark and it was I
Who served you to make our lives complete.

Did You See Me?

Do you see me
Off in the distance
standing in the shadows
of our memories
that we shared once
or so I thought...
asmy body convulsed
with unexplained orgasms
and my reality became
visible to your reality
and you smiled back
at me, from the
other side of the
Swietenia desk that
incidentally matched your eyes,
offering me explanations
but never really
letting me know that
you saw me as lonely...

Unintentionally

Unintentionally (I believe), your body has danced
Its way into my aged, obligated heart;
Now, in the hallways of my dreams, you appear and
Our bodies move closer day-by-day in anticipation;
Now, in the hallways of my fantasies, my arms
Reach around and overlap softly on your abdomen,
Your head tilts back against my shoulders, neck exposed;
My heated breath brings out your reluctant passion
As I feel the undulations of your body encouraging mine;
Now, in the room of my priceless fears, our bodies
Still the same, now naked stand, as my erect manhood
Presses against the velvet softness of your ass, my
Arms move in different directions, one towards your
Excited nipples – rolling each between my thumb and finger
While the other descends downward to the musky wetness
Between your legs, fingers sliding through the thick fluid
Flowing like lava fields down your quivering thighs.

Unintentionally, your body has danced its way into my heart
And I have become seduced by an unsuspected interest
You have shown in wanting to be my friend and confidant;
It is I alone who has made more of it than it really is or can be
As I see it now, but even you have said, “one never knows;”
Still, the follies of a man my age have me “dancing with wolves,”
One minute and embracing your beauty and compassion the next;
Yet, it is a friendship that I need right now, nonetheless.
And if, my mind boils and I cannot sleep in case I forget the words
Then, so be it, because you are my enchantress of the night,
My female demon that encourages my inward sight, and you are
My long-awaited goddess, who I have now given possession
Of all my fears, fantasies, frustrations, and sexual illusions.

They tell me it is raining outside

They tell me it is raining outside, but,
I am far too pre-occupied to notice;
My feet shift their location
Under the mental table on which
I do much of my work;
Still, I long for the days of my youth
When it was difficult but
Not so uncomfortable trying to please
Or wishing to be pleased as they
Always seemed to miss the point;
I wonder if it is those same people who
Now tell me about the rain?
Silly parrot, I think to myself
As thoughts of you drift by with the
Clouds of my illusions, as so
Ever-present and not so amusing;
Yet, I persist in my ravings and
Cravings of your attention,
Even when it is raining while
All too dry I remain inside – as I have
Always done when confronted with
What I have done. Why do you not
Understand my lunacy; it makes perfect
Sense to me as it always has done,
Serving me well in my present stages of
Youthful aging and prissy drugs that
Try to make us forget.
They tell me it is raining outside, but I am
Still waiting for your call to remind me
That it is not me you don’t understand
But my… oh well, not to see or
Worry but bless me as I am bless by
Knowing that you do, in some way, love me
You know, I like the rain when
It is on the outside of me,
At least sometimes, and the sun shines
On all the myths of my yet-to-be’s.

Before I stand with you

Before I stand with you I will
Knell before you in submission
And out of respect of your abilities;
Before we stand together
Sharing intellectual metaphors
I will allow you to bind me
With your Gaia powers;
Before I let you kiss me with
Your powers of seductive innocence
As you brown eyes burn holes
In my cloak of resistance,
I will bow before you,
Let you bind my arms behind me,
Otherwise my fingers will explore
The openings as my tongue desires,
Finding that spot… that triggers…
Squirting your soul onto mine
Joining us forever, no matter
To whom we may belong...
Such is our destiny
Our path inevitable as you well know;
I am what you need as you are for me,
As it is bound before it occurs
So on earth it must be…

Wedding Poems

ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

THIS 26TH DAY OF JUNE, 1999

On your wedding day today,
I wish there was something profound I could say, other than
Saying how proud I am To welcome Iltug into our family;
In front of family and friends, you pledge
unconditional love to each other for as long as you can;
I wish there were some guarantees I could give you
To keep your lives free from fear, but
Those must come from he to you and you to him.

On your wedding day today,
You wear something old and something new, something borrowed
and something blue, and carry a six pence in your shoe, and we
come from near and far to be part of these memories;
Orthodox and Ottoman, unpracticed, collide, taking both cultures
and traditions with you Wherever you reside;
but, this advice I will offer to you two and that is
the words of love, honor, and obey, must always be true.

On your wedding day today,
The birthplace of Homer, Beautiful Izmir, is brought to you
And in return you bring the folklore of North Carolina’s Outer Banks,
Endless treasures to enrich both your lives:
The flying dolphins of Karsiyaka will guide you well, and the daisies
on your wedding gown symbolizes the friends you will always have around;
May your marriage last as long as the blue ridge mountains have done
and may you be as faithful as the statue of Poseiden
that can still be found in the Agora.

On your wedding day today,
The activities of this day will never fade
As long as you look inward for your own happiness
And not to each other for something to change;
It is important that both of you grow
And with trust this will be a natural thing to do
And the happiness that will flourish
Is the love that God intended us all to know…
And that should be the basis on which this marriage is based
And if it is, your union will last and be truly blessed.

For Tracy Jo and Ned Thomas
April 5, 1997

The traditions of marriage have brought you together
Regard these vows as the foundation that will
Anchor the two of you forever,
Cautiously blending logic with reality, helping
You to want more than just accepting life as it is,
Just being there is no longer enough.
Open your minds to new experiences and
Never judge each other's motives or intentions;
Encourage honesty and trust and strive towards a
Deliverance from all forms of jealousy;
Take each other as you are and
Hold no secret desire to change the other person;
Ocassionally learn to understand intuitively as
Much as you can concerning what is being conveyed;
Always be aware of your partner's limitations and feel
Safe and secure with whom you belong.
Focus your energies on the possibilities
Reinforce the positive in all you do;
Imagine your future plans together, then,
Strive in everything you do to get there;
Be kind to each other daily and
Enjoy everything that you do and
Everyday tell each other, "I love you".

Another Way To Say I Love You

There are those who feel that success
is measured in acquisitions, money,
and power; but for me, it is measured
in being with you. And, while that
seem like an unimaginative phrase
to say, for me, it is exactly the way
I feel about my life with you. I am
not looking for a perfect relationship
with a perfect person and I hope
that you are not looking for that from
me; but, what I do want is someone
that I know is in my life just to be
with me. And, that person appears
(most definitely) to be you and
twenty years from now, my feelings
will not have changed other than
to feel a lot closer to you than I
actually feel this Valentine’s Day.

2-13-03

Your Birthday Poem

Ageless beauty has been God’s gift to you

as family and friends, in awe, have

laid gifts at your feet and opened doors

through which you have walked and experienced

adventures that captivated your imagination

and while I could do that too, the only gift

that I think befits you on your birthday

is to pledge my love to you and to

continue to demonstrate my love to you

through my faith towards the

One who brought us together many years ago.

1-3-08

90th Birthday Poem for Mom

How many tears of joy have been tasted by her gentle lips, I wonder?

How many tears of sorrow have been courageously wiped away?

How many smiles and encouraging questions has she asked to brighten up your day?

How many stars have passed through her sky;
while her calm, serene eyes upward gazing
have been searching for the promise
her favorite hymn provides.

From a silent countenance I have observed her;

my senses flooded by the captivating stories of Michelangelo;

witnessing of Pygmalion’s rebirth in My Fair Lady,

convinced the think method of teaching music was really working,

and later amused by the quiet joys of reading practically anything;

From my quiet perspective, I extracted the silver lining,
chopped down the Cherry tree,
returned the illusive pound of sugar,
and had the courage to stand my ground…

all of them, subtle harmonies of my mother’s whisperings, omnipresent muses of my training ground.

I am no philosopher… nor poet too today

No aristocrat… or courtroom lawyer clothes adorn

I am just a man – a simple man

A man of God who owes it all to his mother!

Greeting Card Thoughts

FirstPoem

We promised each other
Our love;
We promised it during the good times
When our love was the most
Wonderful event
We ever experienced;
We promised it during the bad times
When our love was the only
Thing that kept us together;
Neither of us knew
What the future would bring;
Neither of us knew
How life would treat us;
Neither of us knew that our love
Would see us through,
But it did,
And I know that I never
Would have felt this
Kind of happiness
Without you.



Second Poem

There are times now
When I think back
On how my pride
Stood in the way
Of my common sense,
And it would be days
When we would not talk
And would not touch
And would not kiss,
But I would like you to know
That I am sorry
And that my hugs
And kisses
Miss yours.


Third Poem

Don’t turn away from me
When I know you are tempted,
Even when my actions
And my words
Don’t really convey how I feel;
Don’t turn away from me
And destroy everything
We have tried to rebuild
Because it get a little difficult;
Don’t turn away from me
Before I have had a chance
To show you I can change,
When what we have
Is more than some only dream about;
Don’t turn away from me
Because if I lost you again
I would lose the most precious
Thing I ever had in my life.



Fourth Poem

Looking back on the years that
We have shared together,
We can see that it is our love
That got us through all of
Our joys and sorrows;
Looking back, we could have
Never known what our life
Would be like together and
We could have never really known
What we both know now;
Looking back, we can see
That the only thing that ever mattered
Was our unyielding love




Fifth Poem

All I want is to have your love
For the rest of my life,
To go to bed each night
With my arms around you
And wake up the next morning
With your arms around me;
All I want is to share my life with you,
To talk about our dreams,
And the places we would like to go,
To talk about the things that make us laugh,
And even the things we argue about;
All I want is to give you my love,
And a place you can feel secure in
And accepted no matter what you think
Or be silent in because what is unspoken
Is often understood;
All I want is to grow old with you
And watch our dreams come true,
And sit on the front porch
When we both are old and gray
Realizing how important our love is
And that it will last forever.


9-27-1997

5 Oldies

Poem #1

Everyday I am different
Everyday I have improved
Everyday is better than the one before
And everyday I miss you more
And everyday is just another day
Without you dear.

Poem #2

I may not be exactly
what you want and
I may not do exactly
what you would like and
I may not Thank you for
how you take care of me,
But this I will say…
I do notice what you do
and appreciate it very much.
And I cannot imagine what life
would be like without you because
not only do I love you very much,
but this Love
increases from year to year
and I strive to be more like you expect
and really see it as no sacrifice.


Poem #3

REMEMBERING…
Thoughts linger gently
In my mind,
Like floating summer clouds,
about the time with you I will
Not easily forget


Poem #4

Le me… be you lover
Be your friend and
Let me… take you shopping where
We can spend a weekend;.
Let me… show you daily dear,
With the little things I’ll do just how much
I love you.



Poem #5

I think back on all
The people I have known
Each taught me something about life
I Learning lessons
The hard way, but
Eventually all I remember
Are the good times
I had with you.


9-26-1997

Blue Daisy

Sometimes it seems we
Lose our way and life
Becomes so blue.

You think you’ve “lost your
Marbles” and others
Suspect it’s true

But in spite of all the odds
My friend, life can be
Wonderful too.

Just remember, that no
Matter what, God is
Always here for you.

So when you think you’ve
Lost them all, pull out my
Gift to you.

It may be small, and only
One… but your haven’t
lost them all!!!
3-5-06

My Love

I may not always be the man thatTuesday,
You imagined spending the rest of your life with
Or the kind of man that you need
Or the soul mate that you deserve, but
I am the kind of man who loves you deeply
Understanding each day how strong
And reassuring that kind of love can be.

I may not always be the kind of man that
Puts away his clothes or makes the bed
Or even keeps toothpaste from
Dripping on the faucets that
You just had cleaned
The day before, but,
I am the kind of man who
Is always there for you
And who accepts you
Always for whom you are
Or need to be as each
Day offers us both something new
And breath-taking that with
Each other we always seem to share.

I may not always be the kind of man that
Says the right words at the right times
Or that chooses the right clothes to wear
Or not to wear as your perceptions be,
But, I am the kind of man who
Takes you shopping, takes out the garbage,
And never complains no matter
How many purses you want to buy
Even though, I may not always understand why.

And, lady, I may not be a lot of things
That you think I should or should not be,
But, this I can tell you without hesitation
That I will always be the kind of man who
Can easily remain always deeply in love with you…
February 14, 2006

Wisdom

Wisdom comes to us
In many forms and
At different ages but
Mainly it is
Accepting life as it is
Keeping a positive outlook
Maintaining balance
Exercising patience
Living wholelisticly
Practicing forgiveness and the Golden Rule
Keeping the faith and accepting spirituality
Continuous learning and changing oneself only
Taking responsibility for one’s actions and happiness
Becoming a mentor and a coach
And perhaps the
Most important,
But certainly not one that
Works independently of
the others is
honoring and
replenishing nature,
society,
& the universe

Donna’s Birthday Poem

At two years shy of three score
You have seen happiness and heartbreak,
But have persevered with love and kindness
As I have stood by your side;
For eighteen years you have been at my side
Protecting me from those who knew us not,
Working on plans and taking our trips;
Wisdom seeped into our hearts like
Gentle drops of blood falling from wounds;
For eighteen years we have loved
And fought as lovers do because we can;
For eighteen years we moved towards our future,
For eighteen years we folded and molded ourselves
And you were the glue that bonded us together;
For eighteen years I have watched you age and change
Bringing us closer together and in love…
We are partners and on your birthday should realize
We have each other for another year again.
1-3-11