Through my life

Through the files of my life I wonder
Sorting through this and that
Stopping to read whatever, but
Finally realizing it is all in the past;

Through the hallways of my heart I wonder
Wondering if I have ever really been in love
Or if those with whom I have come into contact
Or even stayed with a while, were
Ever really dancing to our song;

Behind my perspiration I hide
Afraid to shake hand with sweaty palms
And pockets dry-rotting because of it;

My life is a jungle book, full
Of misadventures and missed opportunities
But full of animal passions and excitements
That eventually lead nowhere;

I am an unknown tomb of success
Hiding my true feelings in or
Between the lines of poorly written verse
Simply because no one knows the difference
Or if they do, do not care to point it out;

I am just as much an illusion of life
As my life is an illusion of me,
And all I see is a failure of both spirit and need
Still hiding behind sweaty palms and
And an imagination that churns out regrets
Or the fear of losing the few friends I have
To keep them from knowing I need them;

And, now to you I sing my songs of passion
Knowing there are so many years and
Issues that separate us from this truth;
I imagine us a friends,
collaborating on games of the mind
I imagine us as lovers,
collaborating on our acquired passions
But never do I imagine us as simply co-workers
Anymore doing what we need to do to
Avoid making anymore mistakes;
I don’t know what I see anymore dear lady
But I would like to hold you when you cry
As well as penetrate all aspects of your personality
As you hold me when I fail or die…