March 1989 - page 5

1.

it was a lie...  her loving me,

no intimacy...  no touchy feely

kinds of things...  no kissing

no holding...  no sentimentality;

it was a lie...  her loving me,

there had been no caring for years

there had been no fondness or friendship

there had been no romancing

it was a lie alright...  her loving me.

2.

I need to bury my love for you

since there's nothing physical so

I can find someone and fall in love

to meet my physical needs again.

3.

she could make love to a man

if she did not love him,

he could make love to a woman

only if he did love her,

they love each other but had not

made love in months,

he needed to bury his love for her

so a new love could be found,

she did not want to lose the

only man she'd ever loved,

it was really finished this time

she had lost him for good...

he had promised never to stop

loving her...  of that she reminded him,

it was true...  but that love would

be buried so deep it would not count,

and they would both love again.

4.

he was hers or so

she thought until the platonic

love was not enough.

5.

I am beginning to hate you

for hating me...  it's like

everything else I say you

don't believe and everything

I do is hiding something;

it's like you don't trust me

and for good cause...  but now

you'll prove you're right

in what you see even when

you're wrong...  no more.

6.

we die a little more each day

each time we are together,

when on the telephone

it is a little different though.

7.

you scored me wrong

but what the hell...

there's plenty more

and while you're at it

bring me one over here.

8.

the evening robs us

keeps us from clear sight

soothes us to sleep so

in the morning we can

take back what she took.

9.

they were silent crimes

more or less

except for the cries

of sorrow

of happiness

of anger

of bitterness

I heard...  it was an

elegant feast we ate

in honor of our

last night

spent outside of bars,

they were crimes

but the hate

came later,

after the tears.

10.

she faulted all

I would try

bragging from

her being

a bitch...  she

refused to care,

saying those days were

buried in the

casket along with

her dreams...  she

gave no warning for

her flight but

left much unspoken

which is how

she always was...

she hated me and

my talking and

my guessing and

my infidelity...

but most of all she

hated me because

she still loved me.