May 1989 - page 3

1.

we are outlaws

living without a fmaily

without friends,

depending upon similars

with which to band,

and fulfill the need 

from which we rean.

2.

thoughts blow through my mind

like tiny tornadoes, as each one\

destroys a little more of my sanity.

3.

helplessly forgiving

seeking reinforcement

a silent innocence

begging for a hand slap

or vertal abuse even

from those who are\

unconscious providers,

tears of joy and sorrow

roll down the cheeks

big brown eyes look

up to assk "why?"

4.

she called last night and

I was not there and did not

pursue a reason for the call.

5.

it was almost a year gone by

hate was more prevelent

less forgiving and

more determined not to be,

it was a bad time

no laughter

tensions remained high

we both knew

a relentless battle

not about right or wrong

nor loss of love

or amale versus female,

procrastination

played a big role

feeding our egos

and our hate

objecting not to each other but

into what we had been molded.

6.

courage rested at

my doorstep and I was too

lazy to be nice.

7.

we fought all the time

opposing for the sport of it

not realizing

our resentments grew.

8.

they were interesting

but none worth pursuing

since capture

meant a handshake and a

mistaken point-of-view.

9.

outside the wind

shilled a late spring

and crops were delayed

from the rain and

everything seemed to be

operating the wrong way

and we were being

pulled along by its currents

helpless and a little

scared of it all inside.

10.

a memory was created

from our relationship,

one that others might want

just to know what not to do.