on my feelings she steps
without a care and I
retaliate unconditionally,
day-after-day we fight the war
around in circles...
nothing gets resolved
nothing gets accomplished
a silent war of body,
language and behavior,
we don't have any answers
and don't know any other way.
she broke her concentration
saying what she felt
instead of showing... and,
with the bait taken, I
briefly had the upper hand.
before I go
before I sleep
miles to drive
appointments to keep
days begin early
ending late...
I function on the
downside of stress
a marginal existence
before I go
before I sleep.
I recall your innocence, how
easily it flowed years ago,
before we ruined our love
with marriage... mostly,
we just used up what
little we had to offer.
we are a packaged deal
you and I... we don't get
one's procrastination
without the other's apathy.
no place to go
no place to hide
no place to find you
or myself together,
no place to look
no place to rest
no place to write anymore.
my last will and testament
is in its first draft...
all my belongings
worldly or not are
being left to you...
my crime was passion
not even enough and all the
shrinks couldn't put my
mind back together again,
I know the future and
distrust what I've seen
and have willingly
forfeited my vote.
flowers bends towards the light
and as I watch their growth each week
find myself with no direction at all.
a working man's holiday is
sick-leave, taken a day or
two at a time each month, it
gives a break in the action and
lets one's vacation mount up.
each day my thoughts
on paper are put
for no one else to read,
they are not that good
but what the hell, they
were only meant for me.
my life doesn't seem worthwhile anymore
I've talked with my predecessor and was
assured of her new interests... so I formed
a coalition with those body parts that are
unresponsive and realize my duty falls
behind their unconditional silence.
the blood in my veins runs cold
the altitude affects my mental outlook
I searched the halls of my imagination
and have found a wall of watercolors.
through the glass partitions
I see your distorted image
and the struggle with your make-up;
who are you underneath it all?
Who are any of us behind all our
layers of appearance anyway?
my appointment book is
filled with daily meetings,
I rush from one to the next,
my hectic schedule leaves
little room for fantasy and
even less room for doubt.
it's funny how the past catches up
a familiar face is never forgotten
but they all think you have moved
out of town and left me behind again.
today we lunched
tomorrow we dine
and I'll still not be
able to look at you
at least for very long.
you'll always be the one I
wanted but could never tell...
you'll always be the one
that I really wanted to love.
ladies chat in familiar surroundings
their noise annoys our solitude and
if one leads through example then
we should really all be fired today.
tales grow taller
as the years lengthen
until the lies give the
new person a chance.
she came to town and took
the job in the factory,
she ate less to survive,
she worked more to have
more of her time free,
she was so tired she could not sleep,
so hungry she could not eat,
she left her job in the factory
and applied for welfare where
she made enough money
on which to live better.
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