seem painfully slow...
strangers never seem to
know where to park
their cars or if a smile
is friendly or otherwise.
the regulars stroll by
their orders always the same,
and their seats appear
to be reserved, although
that are not that particular.
words like an assortment of mixed nuts
are picked through each morning as we
continue to crack upon each other's feelings.
are we still responsible
for those who would
treat us poorly because
they are hiding all
their insecurities again?
when do we embrace the
evil that regulates our lives
as being one more circus act
meant for our enjoyment.
we live vicariously on the edge of
each other's temptations... a push
in either direction becomes an
unexpected but exciting conclusion.
May's month brings hope for each year
until our opportunities expire and we
are again measured against the full time
equivalent that produces everything
except our monetary psychic income.
we shed tears over that which
we cannot have when we should
realize we actually get all that
we need and a little bit more.
it is one of perception not to have
a vested personal interest in order
to function well but not excitedly,
a form of underutilization with
the appearance of doing what is
expected... as a way of getting by
in someone else's territory... a
form of apathy with positive
overtones and limited influences.
copies of her life are available
at the newsstand around the corner,
her home town innocence spreads
across the front page... she leans
towards change but all they want
is to look down her loose blouse.
what you want
with your abrasive
manners and
underlying comments,
you deserve what
you worked so
hard to get here.
once when missing you
was fashionable I longed
for someone else to miss
someone that would allow
me to want them as well,
but now, all I have is an
uncanny desire not to
care for you or anyone.
my time to do without has
approached its rightful
ownership... an interview
with my past reveals a
full spectrum of pleasures
that now should be
only pleasantly remembered.
longer slender fingers around me hold
rough in texture, motion and appeal,
awaken in me those desire hard to find
they parallel my own circumstance, a
semblance of Southern reconstruction and disorder,
long slender fingers choking my manhood
stretching its tolerance and the deception is
fastened tightly by the security of privacy,
long slender fingers pull out of me the fluid
while my convulsions subside... a serenity rolls,
the night air cools droplets of moisture
forming a the base of my newly waxed body,
long slender fingers want more that just
the magic they have recently created in me.
I don't know you anymore and
I am not sure that I want to,
you wear the convenience of
married clothes while operating
quite independently from home,
inflicting your self-interests against mine,
you want to look young for me
yet you've never around me long enough,
you enjoy being alone and need
more time for yourself you claim,
yet, that leaves no time for us...
you are quiet and allow actions to
express felling that you keep
behind your wedding band...
I know you not these days and
I am not sure that I want to anymore.
we challenge the day's opening statement
with our own forecasts of its conclusions,
sitting side-by-side like unrelated pieces
of a puzzle, a self-sustained obedience
controls our wills... we are ironically
at the wrong place at the wrong time.
her out-of-place manner
left on the kitchen sink
made her presence seem
wicked and the stranger
she sat close to made no
opening remarks for her.
we follow our shadows until
other's seem bolder or until
the rain prevents its casting.
each glance seem parting
each movement seems final
each word seems connect
somehow to goodbye and
my self-confidence falters
as yours seems to increase.
the upside of loneliness is
that one must take care of
one's self... the downside
is that this responsibility
cannot really be delegated.
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