I will turn fifty alone
and I will be no longer
under your control...
dressing as I want to dress
talking as I want to talk
and needing only those
who need me... and
not like you when it is
only convenient for you.
2.
this is the last time
I will let you
or anyone else
tell me
what to do
never again.
3.
you can pretend
all you want,
you can be this or that
but you will
no longer
touch my heart.
4.
I am tired of
relationships
that go from
bad to worse
and I am afraid
of letting myself
love anyone
even again.
5.
I will finish
paying off the debt
but I want you
out of my life,
the sooner the better
and I want you
to give what you will
to someone else.
6.
you remain with me
because you have to financially
and because you do not
want your ex-husband
\to learn you have failed.
7.
all I feel for you anymore
is anger and resentment
not only at you but
towards myself for letting
myself be so stupid.
8.
get away from me woman
find another with whom
you can play your games.
9.
I am in no one's debt
I belong to no one
you will never
have me anymore than
you have me today
and what we both have
is on a loaner basis.
10.
there were no more
thoughts,
no more poems,
no more days of
happiness,
all our hopes and dreams
were caught up in
our battles for control,
and if,
we loved each other
we would have had
no days like these...
wondering this or that,
being loyal,
would be of no concern
because that would
be the only way to be.
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