November 1999 - page 5

1.

this is what you have done for me

and this is what I must do for you,

an equal trade or swap...  tit for tat...

so they say...  quid pro quo... and

since I have received your you must

now find a way to receive mine.

2.

how does one prepare one's self for

this kind of transformation this late

in life with noi real means of support

with financial or otherwise...  unless,

one does so because one believes?

3.

I am amazed by all the violence

in our country and accross the

world in the name of salvation.

4.

you do your thing and I do mine,

we sleep together but we are not

really together...  and, the life we

had is gone...  so, now our new

life must be for ourselves and

others but not for each other.

5.

you have got some growing up

to do and I am not sure if I am

the man to wait around for you

while you set about finishing up.

6.

I see many ideas flash through my

head each morning when I begin

to write and most of them center

around what I don't have rather

than on what I could give to others

like Jesus and his disciples did.

7.
I see what I can give and want

to give to you but if you are

not around then I will have no

choice but to give it to another.

8.

if you want me you will have to

show it...  I will not take you and

your love for granted...  so, what

you show you get in return but

what you don't is withheld for

someone else who is arriving.

9.

I will not beg you to

show me love...  that

must come from within

and if you wait too long,

then, I will be gone and

will live my life alone.

10.

Each day I write my thoughts as if

my life depended upon them...  but,

of course...  it does not...  so, why

am I needing to do this, especially if

it has been getting me nowhere at all?