I am possessed which is a
nice excuse if I ever wanted
to hide from the rest of the
world not just from myself.
2.
what am I good at other than
doing nothing... not much I reckon...
funny how the word reckon has
creeped into my vocabulary...
ever since moving to this state
and even funnier how I
cannot keep a focused mind.
3.
if I were a horse would I be shot
because I can no longer pull my
weight? if I were a horse would
I be put out to pasture to do
nothing but have a good time?
if I were a man would I be ridden
like a horse until my back could
no longer stand the stress of the day?
if I were a man would I be even
be having these thoughts today?
4.
my uncertainty grows as does my
anxiousness and I feel no comfort
in what I do or who I am... only
sorror and remorse for being alive.
5.
you lay with me but then you
ignore me while you are awake
and I never know who I am or
what I am supposed to be doing.
6.
I need to trust in those around me
but all they do is painful and I am
left not knowing what to do or
where to go or what may happen
or worse what you might say to me.
7.
there is no amount of medicine or
doctoring that is going to help me,
the only thing that will help me is
for me tto have those around me
who show me that they care for me.
8.
I expect others to care for me so that
I don't have to care for myself... then,
once I do that I rebel against the control
ruining what I have in front of me and
I am left feeling miserable once agin.
9.
I am mad and crazy...
it is understood and
I have no reason to
fear it will ever be any
different than it is.
10.
it is funny how my mind
goes blank on some days
and on others it just pours
out with words and thoughts
and so many weird feelings.
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