we hold these thruths
to be self evident
when in reality these
are nice words but
nobody practices
what they preach...
and the only winners
are those who do not
show any incentive
unless they are asked
to and then it is only
partially put forth.
2.
I wait for you all day
looking forward to your return
but when you arrive you
want to act as if you have
not missed me at all...
and, when I ask you to
address how you feel for me
you get outraged and say
if you did not want to be here
that you would not be here,
but that has little to do with
how you show what you feel.
3.
everytime I speculate
and share that with you,
rather than look at it
in a way to see why I
would feel that way, you
attack me for having
those feelings and
ruining your day.
4.
you are very demanding
and require your males
to do as you say, and
when they don't, you
withhold your feelings
but say there is no
retribution waiting for
them and that makes you
stronger, increasing your
control over what they do,
as they endeaver to please
in the hopes that you will
throw some of your
sensuousness their way...
but after a while the game
plays out and the male
grows tired of trying and
stops show you his love.
5.
what is the worst that could happen
to me and that is I would loose
everything we own... having you
file for divorce which would send
me home to live with my patents;
and as I investigate my options
I find myself facing the same obstacles
that I did after graduating high school,
not wanting to attend college but no
wanting to tell my parents either...
and it was in that instant, even though
events came before, that se the parameters
of how I was to act when confronting
someone who was trying to control...
yet, at the same time, I would attempt
to control them and that became a
crutch on which my life was based,
forcing me into positions where I needed
them more than they actually needed me.
6.
I know what my problems are
but I do not know how to fix
them in a sustaining manner
nor do I know how to correct
the temperament that I have
that keeps me from my control.
7.
please God, if you will,
let me find my passion,
and my desire as well as
my faith again... please God,
if you will, help me to be a
good Christian and give me
the courage to accept my
own limitations and the
self confidenmce to fine
employment... please God,
if you will, hjelp me to see
the coincidences in my life
that will help me reach
my dreams... help me
reach my faith... help me
with my spiritualism.
I must develop patience
and persistence
and a belief where doubt
does not interfere...
and if, the worst passes
and I love my house
and my wife and must
return home to my parents,
then, that is what I will do
and be thankful for all
that I still have in me.
9.
there is guilt inside me
but it is there because
I have never been given
what I need and it is not
easy to stand up for myself,
and yet, I cling to whatever
it is that I can get because
having is better than not having
unti I realize what I have done.
10.
you were there for me but I could
not see and consequently you felt
life away from me would be better,
and so... you left because you had to
and then... realized you were wrong;
after returning you again saw your
opportunity to to go... but we talked
and I am left to wonder if you again
have met another who, like me, you
believed would make life better...
you always want to cut your loses
and move forward rather than put
forth the effort to repair... and,
make better what you already have,
but that is who you are and there is
little I can do or should do actually
to keep you here if you would prefer
to be somewhere else with another.
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