May 1999 - page 2

1.

my life is uncertain

both my marriages

as well as my career

but my mental health

is being repaired

and my outlook

should by default

become improved.

2.

there is a perception

that one is beeter than

the other...  but, for my

purposes either will do

so I pick the one with

the least number inside.

3.

I see you in someone else's

future and I see myself in

no one's future at all but

for some reason that is of

not concern to me...  at

least not at the moment.

4.

I sleep with you in

the bed purchased, thinking

I may not stay long.

5.

everywhere I go to write

and drink coffee, I try to

sit in the corner of the room

but those who see me 

always look with what

seems to be curiosity as to

what it is I am doing here.

6.

I feel neutral about everything

in my life right now...  maybe

that is because I know that

whatever happens there will

always be my parents to

which I will be able to return.

7.

she calls to me to

change my appointment to a

Thursday, if I cared.

8.

I could have enought to live

for eighteen months in the

next ten weeks but I am not

sure what I would gain if I

stopped...  but if I returned 

to work until the end of the

year I would have enough

money for the next two.

9.

what do I want in my life

or from my life...  what do

I need or what would I like

to give?  what do I think 

that I should or should not

do...  it would seem that I

have a lot more questions

than answers...  and that

no one, no matter what

place they hold in my life

can help me here and now.

10.

I have not found the right woman

with whom I would like to spend

the rest of my life...  although, I

feel this should bother me but it

does not and I wonder why not?